I know, I know, it's not his fault but allow me a little bit of prejudice - any man called Crispin needs to be looked at carefully! Today, the particular Crispin I have in mind is Crispin Blunt, an A1 tosser of the first order and currently the minister in charge of our jails. He, you will recall, is the eyeball-rolling loony who suggested that we should all pay for prisoners to have parties inside jail. This followed a report in The Sun accompanied by a photograph of female killers enjoying a fancy dress party in prison some of them smothered in fake blood. Gosh, I bet the grieving relatives of the victims enjoyed that one!
He, it is, who exemplifies the new-style, 21st century, Tory gentleman by ditching his wife of 20 years and running off into the sunset with his boyfriend, despite a previous history of hostile speeches in parliament against homosexuality. The feelings of his son and daughter are not known but may be guessed at. However, the 'iffy' notions of honour harboured by this ghastly little creep may be judged by his previous actions, as reported earlier this year by The Telegraph, in which it was revealed that he had been claiming thousands of pounds on a second home in London despite living there with his children. When told by the Parliamentary authorities that this was no longer allowed:
Crispin Blunt, the MP for Reigate, Surrey, responded by asking if he could take out a second mortgage against his constituency home in Surrey and claim that on expenses. When the fees office said no, he sold the house and bought a bigger property costing nearly twice as much, and billed the taxpayer for £16,000 in stamp duty and fees.
Here, courtesy of The Telegraph, are the grisly details:
Crispin Blunt
Job: shadow home office minister
Salary: £64,766
Total second home claims
2004-05: £ 20,902
2005-06: £21,634
2006-07: £22,109
2007-08: £23,083
I would remind you (as some of you, perhaps, are opening letters from the Inland Revenue demanding taxes you never realised you owed) that this poltroon lives in Reigate which is normally considered a reasonable commuting town to London. Thousands of people who pay through their taxes for slime-bags like Blunt work long hours in the City without benefit of 'second home' allowances.
Not content with being an adulterous promise-breaker, a humbugger and a leech on our money, he also insists on being a complete clown without actually wearing a red nose. After receiving a slap on the wrist from 'Dave' over his idiotic plan for taxpayers to pay for killers in jail to have parties, he now gives a speech in which he stresses the importance of prisoners only being provided with - the right-sized apples! This from the ever-excellent Paul Waugh:
Referring to the need for consistency from catering suppliers, he [Blunt] said:
"An undersize apple handed out at the servery will create issues of order and control, so we use suppliers that are sensitive to that need and that use their sourcing ability to maintain consistency from their supply base." (Original emphasis)
This was said in the context of a speech by 'dear Crispin' in which he pointed out the danger of prisoner unrest if the meals failed to come up to what the inmates expected. Try telling that to a squaddie in Afghanistan living on 24-hour ration packs in the field!
My despairing question is simple: why is this unbelievably stupid, creepy, incompetent, lying liar a minister in Dave 'I'm Mr. Squeaky Clean' Cameron's government when the splendid Mr. Tony McGuirk (see immediately preceding post) is only the Head of the Mersyside Fire Service. I realise that were he to be moved Merseyside might burn down but, hey, I could live with that! Meanwhile, I do hope the voters of Reigate are sharpening their axes.
Additional: Since composing the above, I have just read The Mail's headline and I warn any commenters that "fruit riots" jokes with their disgraceful innuendo are not permitted and nor do I wish to read anything to do with 'bent bananas', er, unless you are referring for some reason to Mr. Bean, the Labour leadership contender.
(Oh God, 'fruit riots', wish I'd thought of that one - must stop giggling - nurse - my sedatives quick ...)
Comments