Well, I thought, that's next year's hols sorted! You see, I had read about this beach town in Languedoc - an area that also happens to produce my favourite white wine - where all les 'swingers' nue go every summer to, er, frolic. Can't wait, I thought, because, to be honest, at the mutual age of 71 the sex life (there's a misnomer, if ever I heard one) between me and the 'Memsahib' is in dire need of a kick start! Cavorting about stark naked on a warm beach and entering into les liaisons dangereuses with like-minded perverts persons sounded frightfully exciting. Hitherto, nudism and nudists have always struck me as totally tedious because they all appeared to be as decorous as a Victorian picnic with their boring little games of badminton and their jolly little dashes into the briny with smiles fixed firmly in place as the cold water shrank their assets.
But now, apparently, the sedate world of nudism has been infiltrated by les 'swingers' whose choice of games does not include badminton! This has caused great friction between the rival groups which in turn has led to physical confrontations. (Look, I do the jokes here and comments concerning the plentiful array of weapons to hand will be banned, now try and take this seriously!) According to the story in The Telegraph:
The mayor said that he would consider the complaints but had already done all he could to keep the two groups apart.
Quelle courage, mon brave! Imagine the poor man standing between the two groups trying keep them apart but not quite knowing where to put his hands. Anyway, I was still rather enticed with the exciting prospects for next year's hols when I saw the photo in the Telegraph story:
The nudist beach of Le Cap d'Agde, southern France Photo: GETTY IMAGES
Oh dear! Where was Brigitte Bardot? Oh well, anyone for badminton . . .?
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