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Sunday, 03 October 2010


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Oh, you old romantic, you!

Here's a song that may well illustrate your tremulous effusions on the subject.

It's called "If you loved me".. and it's buried among other similar ditties..

Feel free to sing along.. if you can... it almost killed me..

..and tell the missus, "If I had committed a triple murder I would have been released by now."

..they like that sort of comparison..

Thanks, Dexter, for the link but, alas, it will not let me through. Just for a moment I thought you were putting me in touch with the beautiful Rogers & Hammerstein "If I loved you" from Carousel.

As for the joke, which cracked me up, I think perhaps that today is not the day to try it on the 'Memsahib'. She'll only go and get her karate outfit!

Well, seeing as how you've phrased it I'm making this link achievable. The Memsahib should be congratulated on her tastes - the pic obviously shows she "liked" your checkered past, er, pants:

Actually I did once have some trousers in the Black Watch tarton, way back in the age of long sideburns, droopy moustaches and velvet cummerbands. Oh God, the '80s were hideous!

Was that in your second-hand cars selling days?

And pray tell, what the hell is a cummerband, velvet or otherwise?

You guessed, JK!

And a cummerband is a wide strip of satin or velvet or something similar which was worn round the waist by chaps in evening dress in lieu of a belt. In fact I would defend its use because it was rather smart and I'm sorry it seems to have disappeared these days. Incidentally, my Black Watch trousers were only worn on such 'black tie' occasions and again I think they looked pretty good. I wore them on the utterly specious basis that I am half Scots!

Cummerbunds have the added advantage of being adjustable - as your waist waxes and wanes, so does it, unlike the trousers and jacket. I still have my cummerbund but sold my DJ years ago. Likewise, I can still wear my sporran.

Good point, DM, and my waist seems to be all wax and no wane these days!

I did once consider buying a kilt but one look at the Duff tarton was enough to put me off - and a second look at my skinny little legs was the clincher!



Mrs. Duff must be a very long suffering and patient soul.

May you both have many more.

Quite so, Hank, and she has the Long Service & Good Conduct Medal - and bar - to prove it!

Thanks for your good wishes.

Well done David, my wife and I are celebrating our 43rd on Thursday this week.
My kids have asked several times, of times when their Mom and I were having problems, and what kept us together.
My reply is always the same, 'we could not get divorced because we couldn't agree about the kids; I wanted her to keep them, and she wanted me to take 'em!'

Thanks, Mike, and I'll raise a glass to a fellow 'lifer' on Thursday.

At one point, towards the end of my 20 year long marriage I said to my wife, "It's a good thing we married each other instead of making two other innocent people miserable."

But as you know women are no fans of irony, and soon after we decided to spread the misery.

Bad luck, Dexter. You must remember the two most important words needed to secure a long-lasting marriage - 'yes, dear'!

"Yes. dear," so true, and my own husband is a master of the phrase.

I'm so happy for you and your wife. Well done!

Now, if only I could get a photo of you wearing the tartan trousers, my life would be complete. Please think it over!

Alas, I don't hink I would stand a chance of getting in to them these days even if they were still around which they are not. However, I wonder if they do tartan long johns?!

Congratulations! 46 years is good going indeed.

An old oilfield hand once told me the secret of his 45 year marriage: I was never at home!

Thanks, Tim,and your pal has a point!

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