Today is my, ooops, sorry, our, 46th wedding anniversary. Despite my occasionally disparaging 'jokes' at the expense of the 'Memsahib', it has been a pretty damn good 46 years. Sometimes, as I look around at the train-wreck marriages of friends and aquaintances, I ask myself how it is that we have withstood "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" so well? Setting aside, for the moment, my good-natured tolerance, wisdom and generosity which have played such an enormous part, I am forced to conclude that really it has all been a piece of colossal luck! The 'Memsahib' and I just fit together, not perfectly, you understand, but roughly; we are joined and jointed in more or less the same way and thus the inescapable friction entailed in any long partnership is minimised. Needless to say, like anyone else, I didn't know this for sure when we married, I just rolled the dice and they came up double six!
In composing my talk this week to the ladies of the Women's Institute, entitled Shakespeare in Love, I was forced to contemplate not so much the nature of true love, as the true nature of love. I think, on the whole, that it does not exist, or if it does, it is best avoided as a basis for a long marriage. In my view, it is better to like than to love because liking lasts longer than loving. Which is just another way of saying that the greatest gift to be blessed with in a marriage - is friendship.
Here endeth the first lesson 'cos I'm off to the local gastro-pub for a slap-up lunch!
Oh, you old romantic, you!
Here's a song that may well illustrate your tremulous effusions on the subject.
It's called "If you loved me".. and it's buried among other similar ditties..
Feel free to sing along.. if you can... it almost killed me..
http://www.musicalley.com/music/artists/restricted.php?pageNum_MusicList=0&totalRows_MusicList=12
Posted by: Dexter VanDango | Sunday, 03 October 2010 at 12:27
..and tell the missus, "If I had committed a triple murder I would have been released by now."
..they like that sort of comparison..
Posted by: Dexter VanDango | Sunday, 03 October 2010 at 12:59
Thanks, Dexter, for the link but, alas, it will not let me through. Just for a moment I thought you were putting me in touch with the beautiful Rogers & Hammerstein "If I loved you" from Carousel.
As for the joke, which cracked me up, I think perhaps that today is not the day to try it on the 'Memsahib'. She'll only go and get her karate outfit!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 03 October 2010 at 14:38
Well, seeing as how you've phrased it I'm making this link achievable. The Memsahib should be congratulated on her tastes - the pic obviously shows she "liked" your checkered past, er, pants:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRv_ItUlsWo
Posted by: JK | Sunday, 03 October 2010 at 17:18
Actually I did once have some trousers in the Black Watch tarton, way back in the age of long sideburns, droopy moustaches and velvet cummerbands. Oh God, the '80s were hideous!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 03 October 2010 at 17:53
Was that in your second-hand cars selling days?
And pray tell, what the hell is a cummerband, velvet or otherwise?
Posted by: JK | Monday, 04 October 2010 at 03:39
You guessed, JK!
And a cummerband is a wide strip of satin or velvet or something similar which was worn round the waist by chaps in evening dress in lieu of a belt. In fact I would defend its use because it was rather smart and I'm sorry it seems to have disappeared these days. Incidentally, my Black Watch trousers were only worn on such 'black tie' occasions and again I think they looked pretty good. I wore them on the utterly specious basis that I am half Scots!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 04 October 2010 at 08:32
Cummerbunds have the added advantage of being adjustable - as your waist waxes and wanes, so does it, unlike the trousers and jacket. I still have my cummerbund but sold my DJ years ago. Likewise, I can still wear my sporran.
Posted by: dearieme | Monday, 04 October 2010 at 08:56
Good point, DM, and my waist seems to be all wax and no wane these days!
I did once consider buying a kilt but one look at the Duff tarton was enough to put me off - and a second look at my skinny little legs was the clincher!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 04 October 2010 at 09:32
David
Congratulations!
Mrs. Duff must be a very long suffering and patient soul.
May you both have many more.
Posted by: hank | Tuesday, 05 October 2010 at 00:28
Quite so, Hank, and she has the Long Service & Good Conduct Medal - and bar - to prove it!
Thanks for your good wishes.
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 05 October 2010 at 14:18
Well done David, my wife and I are celebrating our 43rd on Thursday this week.
My kids have asked several times, of times when their Mom and I were having problems, and what kept us together.
My reply is always the same, 'we could not get divorced because we couldn't agree about the kids; I wanted her to keep them, and she wanted me to take 'em!'
Posted by: Mike Cunningham | Wednesday, 06 October 2010 at 00:02
Thanks, Mike, and I'll raise a glass to a fellow 'lifer' on Thursday.
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 06 October 2010 at 08:58
At one point, towards the end of my 20 year long marriage I said to my wife, "It's a good thing we married each other instead of making two other innocent people miserable."
But as you know women are no fans of irony, and soon after we decided to spread the misery.
Posted by: Dexter VanDango | Wednesday, 06 October 2010 at 12:55
Bad luck, Dexter. You must remember the two most important words needed to secure a long-lasting marriage - 'yes, dear'!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 06 October 2010 at 17:28
"Yes. dear," so true, and my own husband is a master of the phrase.
I'm so happy for you and your wife. Well done!
Now, if only I could get a photo of you wearing the tartan trousers, my life would be complete. Please think it over!
Posted by: Sister Wolf | Thursday, 07 October 2010 at 09:45
Alas, I don't hink I would stand a chance of getting in to them these days even if they were still around which they are not. However, I wonder if they do tartan long johns?!
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 08 October 2010 at 09:20
Congratulations! 46 years is good going indeed.
An old oilfield hand once told me the secret of his 45 year marriage: I was never at home!
Posted by: Tim Newman | Friday, 08 October 2010 at 11:36
Thanks, Tim,and your pal has a point!
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 08 October 2010 at 13:45