The French will speak with their mouths full - but with what, one asks?

Former French Minister for Justice, Mde. Rachita Dati, went straight into the Bumper Book of Malapropisms a few weeks ago by confusing the word 'fellatio' with 'inflation', perhaps, one cannot say with certainty, because she sub-consciously recognised that the one frequently led to the other followed rapidly by deflation.

I gather the lady was sacked by the Hungarian dwarf, presumably because she failed to inflate his, er, standing as a president.  Today she is an MEP and if it is possible to sink lower in life than being the French Minister for Justice, she just achieved it.  However, the point of my tale is that some Frog wag, so far un-named but in my opinion a true and witty son of France, sent her an e-mail suggesting that whilst inflation was obviously a ruiness habit he wouldn't mind it from her, or words to that effect.  Well, despite all that liberté, égalité, fraternité, or, bollocks, as we Anglo-Saxons call it, 'Gendarme Plodde' was called for and the poor man was banged up for 2 days and then charged with - and please don't laugh - "displaying contempt towards a public servant" - look, I told you not to laugh!

However, to avoid any accusation that this blog is sexist by implying that only female French politicians speak with their mouths full, allow me to draw your attention to the fickle finger of fate possessed by Brice Hortefeux, the French Minister of the Interior

Photo: AFP

although, given his words one is entitled to ask, the interior of what, exactly?  This digital wonder told an expectant audience that the security forces were in possession of "genital fingerprint files".  I must warn British ladies of a delicate disposition planning a trip to La France to watch out for this man and if he approaches you at an airport call for Gendarme Plodde!

I am obliged to The Mail and The Telegraph.

Comments

[JK]

Got any "peechurs?"

Not incidentally the - second, rather the first. She has a smile reminescent of Hillary.

If I've mis-spelled any words, feel free to whip your OED out.

Just not in my presence.

[David Duff]

JK, I couldn't whip my OED in or out, the damn thing weighs a ton!

[dearieme]

"the damn thing weighs a ton": we've got the two-volume photo-reduced edition; it comes complete with a magnifying glass. It came free for signing up to a book club yonks ago. What value.

[David Duff]

Well, luckily, DM, I have a low-level filing cabinet on wheels next to my computer so I leave the OED open on the top for easy reference which, of course, makes my numerous spelling mistakes all the more inexcusable!