Well, there you have it, writ as large as you like. The 'Il-Lib-non-Dems' are no more, or at least, not in any meaningful sense. Like Monty Python's famous parrot, 'they have ceased to be'! This provides the Tories with another, and better, chance of dishing those political gadflys once and for all because many of the seats they occupy should, by rights, be Tory-owned. My own constituency is a case in point. Long possessed by a LibDem and, to be honest, a fairly decent one, would now, I suspect, pass back to the Tories - along with a considerable number of other south west constituencies. What a spectacular car crash it has been for the LibDems who for so many years have luxuriated in posturing from the sidelines without ever having to undertake that most hideously difficult but essential part of governmental activities - choosing! One almost (but not quite!) feels sorry for them as they straggle back to Westminster like a 'Forlorn Hope' platoon of some Napoleonic regiment sent into a suicide mission - for which they all volunteered! (Heh, heh, heh!)
Meanwhile, Labour has been well and truly sucker-punched by that Jock smoothie-chops who runs the Nats 'up there'. If Labour are likely to lose a swathe of seats north of the border then they have no chance of gaining a majority from English voters. Even as I write, the 'Bruvvers' are winding up for some unpleasant industrial action which will turn voter apathy towards Labour into active hostility.
All good news until one turns to the man in our team wearing the No. 9 shirt - Dave 'Fernando Torres' Cameron. For the benefit of those, probably grateful, readers unencumbered by any knowledge of 'footie', I should explain that Fernando Torres is a Spanish centre forward, that is, the man meant to score most of your goals. He has played, more or less, badly for Liverpool (so he's not all bad!) for some years and at the beginning of this year that zillionaire Russian pillock who owns Chelsea Football Club paid £50 million - repeat, £50 million - for him and in return Torres has scored - wait for it - one goal! Honestly, outside of the White House, is there a bigger collection of the brain dead than that which may be found in 'footie'? But I digress. A year ago Dave 'Fernando' Cameron was faced with an open electoral goal - and he missed. Today, most unfairly, he has a second chance. He can dutifully and bravely (pass the sick-bag!) struggle on with his walking-wounded coalition partners, and face up to the massed ranks of the striking 'Bruvver'ood', hold his party conference in September and then go to the country in October.
Should be a doddle - but on the other hand, it is Dave 'Fernando' Cameron, whose proud boast might be, no goal ever knowingly scored!
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