Rooney's ropy rug restrains him!

In keeping with the old-established tradition of this blog I give you yet another incomprehensible title to a post complete with the sort of first rate alliteration you have grown to appreciate here at D&N - er, you do appreciate it, don't you?  Good!  Perhaps some of my English readers will pick up my allusion but happily it will be quite beyond my foreign readers who, and one feels their pain, are unable to watch English Premier League 'footie'. 

Today, I watched (thanks, 'Rupe'!) the Charity Shield match (or whatever they call it these days) which is normally classed as a 'friendly' but on this occasion, given that it was between the two Manchester teams, United and City, it was anything but friendly.  For those who consider ignorance of all 'footie' matters to be bliss, let me tell you that United are the old warriors of our national game.  Led by the redoubtable Sir Alex 'the red-nosed, wasp-chewing' Ferguson, this team seems to go on and on and on under his canny leadership. 

 Photo from TalkSport

Last year's team was considered by the experts to be short of top rate and certainly not up at the level of the supreme teams of yesteryear - and yet they still won the Premiership!  It's true that they lost the European championship to Barcelona but even so, they still made it to the final.

 The other half of Manchester is comprised of the City team, for years the poor relations, looked on with pitying contempt by the United fans.  But two or three years ago they found a fairy godmother in the form of some Arab sheik with 'gazillions' of oil money and, like so many rich, shrewd men, totally besotted with 'footie'.  He bought the team and has poured money into it as fast as the oil revenues have poured into his coffers.  In terms of money spent on players, City is far and away the richest team on the planet.  But of course, having a dressing-room full of the most brilliant players money can buy does not a championship team make!  The proof of that was demonstrated today when, in the first half, United had the run of the game but went in a surprising two-nil down at half-time.  In the second half, however, United inexorably turned the screw, scoring once, twice and then, finally, a third time to win the game.  And this is with a team which had a judicious mixture of old, tried and tested United players laced with a bubbling mix of youngsters - many of them British (hoorah!) - all of whom cost a fraction of City's priceless jewels.

I really do think that the old 'wasp-chewer' has done it again.  I think this new, young United side has the makings of becoming one of the great Manchester United sides of all time.  (And, coming from me with my microscopic knowledge of the game, if that doesn't see them relegated next year, nothing will!)  Of course, and to explain my heading (no pun intended), all eyes were on Wayne Rooney's new 'rug'.  As all true 'footie' fans do know, Wayne's hair is, shall we say, thin - no, not thin, let's face it, he was well on his way to being a slap head!  But, no doubt under the instructions of dear Coleen, his wife, he has undergone a 'stitch-up' in which, apparently, they actually weave a new rug onto your bald bonce!  Courtesy of The Mail I can show you this photo. 

I'm sure the weavers did a good job, after all, wasn't weaving one of the mainstay industries of Manchester back in the 19th century?  But alas, when you are born as ugly as 'our Wayne' you could slap some mink fur on his napper and he still isn't going to give George Clooney any sleepless nights!  Actually, today his rug had grown a bit and it did look better than this photo of a few months ago.  Even so, he didn't play particularly well today and one wonders if perhaps the growth of new hair has sapped his strength.

Anyway, next week the season starts again, and once again the 'Memsahib' and I will inhabit separate rooms several evenings a week.

 

Comments

[dearieme]

I prefer to refer to him as Sir Odious Ferguson.

[David Duff]

You'll nae be pullin' on the No. 9 shirt this Saturday, then?

[Rugs Cheap Sandra]

Nice title. Oh, and Sir Odious Ferguson...that's a good one!

[David Duff]

Sandra, normally I just zap anything that looks like advertising spam but it was obvious that you actually read the comments thread. Also, I had a quick look at your site and some of your rugs are gorgeous! So, my American e-pals, go visit Sandra and treat yourselves to a lovely rug.

(OK, Sandra? Don't forget, the usual 'readies' in the plain brown envelope!)