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Monday, 24 October 2011


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"Oh God, do you think they'll let me into America at my age?"

After all that you have been saying about their illustrious leader, I would think your chances are even slimmer than Dave doing the decent thing.

Not with your record.

Oh I dunno Whyaxye, David do you have a sombrero?

But, 'W', my hope was that MDS would run and win big and I know, I just know, she'd love me to be 'over there'!

Don't know what you're talking about, Andra, all police records are destroyed after 5 years, aren't they? Oh, no, say it ain't so!

No, JK, but I do have, courtesy of Andra, a sarong which is a bit Hawaiian, would that do, do you think?

"No, JK, but I do have, courtesy of Andra, a sarong which is a bit Hawaiian, would that do, do you think?"

Well maybe. But I kinda figured you'd be more comfortable in Duff, Arkansas. Still, I suppose being the sort you are - San Francisco, California would probably work. The sarong undoubtedly would land you a spot on the "Queern's" fabulous float in that whatchamacallit's "PrideDay Parade."

Cross the border at night from Quebec. There is no fence so you can avoid the check point. If any one asks you a question say" Je ne parle pas Américain".

I have, unfortunately, passed through a place called Guam a couple of times in the past few years - always on my way to someplace better, I can assure you.

The Guam people, who believe themselves to be American, don't want to let me spend even a few hours on their dreary little island because they believe me to be a black American man called Alexander who is wanted in the US of A, for what misdeeds, I know not.

I have had trouble convincing them I am not this "gentleman" on both occasions and supervisors have had to be consulted to verify that I may well be of the female persuasion, as I kept insisting.

Luckily, I was not required to show them my willy, or lack or one but frankly, Guam is no fun at all and I intend to try very hard to avoid it forevermore.

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