"Have you heard the one about the fat, black, quadraplegic lesbian . . . ?"

Have you noticed how, from time to time, certain topics come at you from all directions in a short period of time until you feel like that gloomy Dane complaining about "How all occasions do inform against me"?  For the last week or so I have been bombarded with 'Shlock-Horror' stories on the subject of s0-called 'racist' language.  It began with that well-known oaf, John Terry, in the middle of what everyone described as a heated and fiercely fought 'footie' match calling an opposition, mixed-race player a "black cunt".  Of course, it is a sign of my increasing old age that had I heard the quote first I would have assumed that the subsequent fuss and furore would have been over his use of a particularly ripe 4-letter obscenity, but no, that was perfectly acceptable, it was the use of the adjective 'black' that caused the outrage.  Again, being a pedantic old codger, who tries to use words carefully and accurately I suppose he should have been given a hundred lines because the target of his abuse was only half black!  Still, from a rhetorical point of view, one cannot expect total accuracy to impinge on the free flow of a really good rant, it would be like adding water to a particularly robust Burgundy.

Then overnight, yet another uproar has arisen over a remark which the BBC, with all the delicacy we expect from a broadcaster who allows a couple of highly-paid slobs to telephone 'on air' a grandfather in order to slag off his grandaughter, refused to repeat.  Apparently it emanated from the former caddy of Tiger Woods whilst receiving a faux-award for his exuberant celebration when, having been summarily fired by Woods after 12 years of excellent service, his new boss won a golf tournament and Woods did not.  Apparently, the caddy concerned, Steve Williams, received his 'award' at a celebration dinner and one can imagine, it being a sporting occasion, that the wine flowed freely.  In accepting the award, Williams, not apparently a man who forgives a slight easily, said, "It was my aim to shove it up that black arsehole."  Having learned from the Terry incident that expletives are no longer considered offensive I realised that to describe Mr. Woods as an "arsehole" was not the cause of the upset, again, it was the adjective 'black' which set off the uproar. 

The again yeaterday, in an exhange with quite possibly the most po-faced bunch of totally humourless zombies ever collected in one place, the fanatically zealous 'Greeny-Warmers' at Deltoid, one of them came back to me after I had suggested that they should try and get themselves a sense of humour and wrote: 

That's the same thing I hear from boors when they crack jokes about women, blacks, gays, the disabled, the obese ... in your case the butt of your jokes are science and reason.

To which I could only respond with the words that make up the title to this post:

"Have you heard the one about the fat, black, quadraplegic lesbian . . . ?"

Obviously, this word 'black' must be dealt with!  If left alone it could become a public hazard with members of the public injuring themselves as they faint each time they suffer the trauma of hearing or reading it.  I suggest this in a spirit of compromise because I know that the top item on the 'liberal' list of priorities is always to ban something or other.  Again, given their complete lack of humour the irony never occurs to them.

 ADDITIONAL:  With the sort of Pavlovian dog reaction one expects from liberal sites up to their armpits in double standards, my comment at Deltoid was censored.

ADDITIONAL, er, ADDITIONAL:  Apologies to Deltoid, apparently I wasn't banned, I was merely held in a sort of computerised 'clearing pen' whilst my words were carefully scrutinised and now they are published.  Well, hey, it's a liberal site.

Comments

[Whyaxye]

I've just has a look at "Deltoid". You have certainly created a scientific consensus, of sorts. They are all pretty certain about what they think of you...

As William Blake said:

"Listen to the fool's reproach! It is a kingly title!"

[David Duff]

My visits to Deltoid are a sort of displacement therapy. When I can't think of anything to write about here I go over there and toss in the occasional hand-grenade. Such fun!

[Malcolm Pollack]

I think you meant to say "crippled lesbian" there, David.

[David Duff]

I'm saying nothing, Malcolm, I'm in enough trouble already!