With stock markets falling, the euro tottering, the Americans spending faster than they can print, the Management Board of D&N has met and decided that strict austerity measures must be imposed on this blog. As a first example, you will see in the post below that we have sacked our editor and are now publishing posts from anyone and their uncle, or, in that particular case, their 'aunt'! As a second measure, I couldn't help noticing that yesterday a visitor to these distinguished columns had clicked on Old Duff's Almanack 2011 which I published last New Year's Eve, and re-reading my wise and omniscient words and bearing in mind the need for savings I have decided to republish it today:
Old Duff's Almanack 2011 2012
Trouble!
More trouble!
Even more trouble!
Double trouble!
Trouble in the rubble!
But in between, an occasional smile, perhaps a giggle or three and even one or two bellows of laughter.
In other words, same old same old.
Well, if it was good enough then - and it was pretty damned accurate, I reckon - then it will be good enough today!
However, if it strikes you as a tad depressing, allow me to repeat the words of that great 'philosopher', Barney Cashman, hero (if that's quite the word) of Neil Simon's Last of the Red Hot Lovers. Asked by a manic depressive girl friend he is trying unsuccessfully to seduce if there are worse things than death, a frantic and frustrated Barney replies:
"Like suffering and pain? They're bad, but they're second and third after death. Death is first [. . .] I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far . . ."
Yes, a great thinker that Barney Cashman! Anyway, it's time for me to wish you, all my e-pals who visit me here so frequently, a peaceful and boring New Year. Yes, boring! At my age I like 'boring', 'boring' is good, and excitement I can do without, thanks all the same.
Absolutely. I agree, boring is good because it means things are actually working, ticking along nicely just as they should. How rare and delightful would that be! BBB - Bring Back Boring.
Happy New Year David.
Posted by: A K Haart | Saturday, 31 December 2011 at 11:33
For my part, I will be content with the usual unhappiness. So, if it's all right with you, that's my wish for 2012.
Any way, my best greetings. I know I'll have many reasons to keep coming here, so the year will not be that bad.
Posted by: ortega | Saturday, 31 December 2011 at 12:38
Health to all Duffs through 2012
Kind regards
Posted by: david morris | Saturday, 31 December 2011 at 13:38
Have I already shared with you my deep insight that after a certain age life is all about love and laxatives?
Posted by: dearieme | Saturday, 31 December 2011 at 15:49
DM, I thought it was more about naps and nappies!
David, many thanks.
Ortega, you are now promoted to TV critic of D&N!
AK, BBB, TTFN!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 31 December 2011 at 16:22
Happy New Year, DD, I will do my best to be as bored as possible!
Posted by: Whyaxye | Saturday, 31 December 2011 at 16:53
Stick around here, 'W', I think we can guarantee satisfaction!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 31 December 2011 at 17:07
Happy New Year to y'all too - be sure to get your black-eyed peas (according to Arkansas statute black-eyed peas are mandatory as the first course after midnight. Functional too - makes barfing on the sidewalks less strenuous).
Happy New Year to a person from Mississippi who might land on these D&N mutterings/grumblings. (One mustn't judge on accounts of the company another is keeping.)
Posted by: JK | Saturday, 31 December 2011 at 19:29
David
Happy new year to you and yours.
Posted by: Hank | Saturday, 31 December 2011 at 22:20
Always remember, every day above ground is a good day.
Posted by: Andra | Saturday, 31 December 2011 at 23:28
As always, JK, you remain as oblique as ever - "a person from Mississippi" - who he? she?
Thanks, Hank, and likewise.
Andra, I shall cling to that thought!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 01 January 2012 at 10:16