I think I can honestly say that my performance as Grave Digger Two (the imbeciles who edit the Arden Shakespeare refer to this crucial character as "Other"!) who plays such an important part in that play about some gloomy Dane who keeps moaning and groaning and interfering with the flow of the plot when all the audience are waiting for is the Gravedigger scene. Of course, usually it is Grave Digger One who gets all the laughs because the bastard actor gets more lines. However, in my production I think I turned the tables nicely with a performance of which many people said they had never seen the like, before or since!
To achieve this translucent reading of a deeply complex character required me to engage in the Stanislavski method in which, darlings, I had to try and live the role. Hence, I made use of my neighbouring churchyard and here, in this truly historic photo of a master at work, you see me deeply engrossed in teasing out the precise meaning of a very important and witty riposte to a question posed to me by Grave Digger One:
One: What is he that builds stronger than either the mason, the shipwright, or the carpenter?
Two (or ME, as I like to think of him): The gallows-maker, for that frame outlives a thousand tenants.
Oh, how they laughed! And then that bloody prince barged back in again and I had to exit - but I could feel, darlings, really feel, the groans of anguish from the audience as I departed.
Oh, alright then! The truth is that this is a sneaky shot of me taken by a neighbour as I took a tea-break during one of my grass-cutting sessions.
Well, I think you should straighten up the sagging bits of masonry instead of just sitting there contemplating your navel.... er, you can see your navel, can't you?
Posted by: Andra | Wednesday, 04 January 2012 at 17:42
Heh! Critics - don'cha lurve 'em!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 04 January 2012 at 17:46
The spare tire hidden under your T-Shirt ... is that what Hamlet used to kill what's-his-name?
Posted by: Dom | Wednesday, 04 January 2012 at 18:49
I didn't have my glasses on and for a moment I thought that was a roll of loo paper in your hand ...
And is that an image of the Madonna and child in the grass between the three grave stones?
Heavens, imagine the embarrassment if it goes viral.
SoD
Posted by: Lawrence Duff | Wednesday, 04 January 2012 at 19:26
"There at the foot of yonder nodding beech
That wreathes its old fantastic roots so high,
His listless length at noontide would he stretch,
And pore upon the brook that babbles by.
Hard by yon wood, now smiling as in scorn,
Mutt'ring his wayward fancies he would rove,
Now drooping, woeful wan, like one forlorn,
Or craz'd with care, or cross'd in hopeless love.
One morn I miss'd him on the custom'd hill,
Along the heath and near his fav'rite tree;
Another came; nor yet beside the rill,
Nor up the lawn, nor at the wood was he;
The next with dirges due in sad array
Slow thro' the church-way path we saw him borne."
Don't sit there too still for too long!
Posted by: Whyaxye | Wednesday, 04 January 2012 at 19:41
That "spare tyre", I would have you know, sir, are my relaxed abs!
Well, you've got better glasses than me, SoD, because I can't see a Madonna and child. You been on the beer again?
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 04 January 2012 at 19:47
A ex-friend has just e-mailed:
"only to say that I have seen several of the permanent residents of the graveyard give better performances."
Bitch!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 04 January 2012 at 19:51
Such is the man that, when he's done taking his poo, roses will bloom even in January.
I have to tell you, I'm hanging this picture up in my living room.
Posted by: Dom | Wednesday, 04 January 2012 at 20:17
I'm with ex friend on this.........
Posted by: david morris | Wednesday, 04 January 2012 at 20:37
Thanks, 'W', I had forgotten how superb that poem is.
Dom, you are man of taste and discernment - that picture could be worth fortunes in years to come.
David, you are now an ex-commenter!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 04 January 2012 at 21:50
Can you really afford banish your commenters so easily?
I wouldn't have thought so.
Posted by: Andra | Thursday, 05 January 2012 at 00:15
Probabaly true, Andra, but happily no one takes any notice of anything I say!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 05 January 2012 at 08:59
What an exquisite photograph. But I'm mostly interested in the tea. What kind of tea, and how do you take it? Milk and sugar? It's kind of a dainty cup, If I may say, for a man of your dark and gloomy stature.
Posted by: Sister Wolf | Thursday, 05 January 2012 at 09:27
Hello, 'Sis', yes, it is a tad dainty but that's because it came courtesy of the 'Memsahib'. However, the tea was dark brown and handsome - bit like me, really! Proper stuff, dash of milk but with a sweetener rather than sugar. The 'Memsahib' insists that I take sweeteners, I can't think why.
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 05 January 2012 at 13:35
It's not what's in your tea I'm worried about DD, it's what's in SoDs.
Posted by: Kevin B | Thursday, 05 January 2012 at 14:59
I know what you mean. I think it's an example of what they call 'over there' the 'vision thang'!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 05 January 2012 at 16:51
What? There is no DVD of the performance as a present for the regular customers? Not even a youtube link to see you, maybe even hear you, in that historical moment?
I'm truly disappointed at you!
Posted by: ortega | Thursday, 05 January 2012 at 18:03
Ortega, you could never fit an actor of my grandiose proportions into a tube!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 05 January 2012 at 18:44
aaaahhh, well, we Yanks in America always have to entitle our photographs,
"Wise Gentleman Reviewing Impact on the Generations(even just the cutting of the grass around their timely skulls)"
Jeanie Oliver
Posted by: Jeanie Oliver | Wednesday, 11 January 2012 at 20:31
Thank you, Jeannie, I liked the "wise gentleman" bit!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 12 January 2012 at 08:57