No, no, not the Ken Clarke variety (see below), I mean the real thing, or perhaps in this case, the real false thing! I had better explain.
Richard North reminds us all that the Harley Medical Group, the biggest provider of the biggest tits in the business, has refused point blank to carry out remedial operations on their customers free of charge and intends to leave it all to the NHS. So, if the operation for your agonisng hip is put off (again) for several weeks it is probably due to Waynetta and her mates all trooping in to have their tits deflated. If it is of any consolation (take that as a 'no', shall I?), the biggest tit of them all appears to be the Health Minister, Mr. Andrew Lansley, who reckons that he will seek redress for the cost of these operations via the 'Cocklecarrots' and their courts. He is obviously unaware, and why wouldn't he be, he's only the Minister of Health, after all, that the chairman of the Harley Medical Group, whilst struggling to keep a straight face, has already well and truly 'Belgranoed' that idea:
He says the government must accept "moral responsibility" for replacing the PIP implants. "We're only sitting here today because the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA), their own regulatory authority, has approved these implants and obviously hasn't done their proper checking". [My emphasis]
He adds: "We're an innocent victim like everyone else, we're attempting to do our best for our patients", then asserting: "We can't take on this whole thing on our own, especially when it wasn't our fault".
But according to Richard North, it gets 'worserer and worserer'! The MRHA is governed, as are so many things in this our 'septic Isle', by European directives against which we have no appeal:
The central part of the legislation - part of the Single Market corpus - is a system of prohibition from marketing unless the product (or "device") conforms with detailed technical standards, with assured manufacturing and quality control measures in place, subject to ongoing inspections and approval by the regulatory authorities. If all conditions are met, the device is awarded a CE mark, which acts as a marketing authorisation.
These CE marks can and are issued by any European nation and must be accepted by all others! Thus, the 'falsies' packed full of old cassoulet, horse hair from the dead animals the French use to provide their 'steaks', bits of mattress stuffing and the like, were all authorised by the French government and its agency. My guess is that Andrew Lansley will be dead and stuffed himself before we ever see a euro from them, always assuming, of course, that the euro is still around in about 50 years!
In the meantime, perhaps some use can be made of these remedial procedures by simultaneously attempting a brain transplant into the heads of Waynetta and her sisterhood who volunteered to have foreign (in all senses of the word) substances placed inside their bodies. There should, I feel certain, be plenty of room inside their craniums for a new brain!
Let Waynetta pay.
By the by, don't sneer at French steak. I've had better steak in France, and indeed in Italy, than in anywhere in the English-speaking world. Whenever a Yank or Aussie bangs on about steak, a suitable response is a dismissive snort.
Posted by: dearieme | Thursday, 12 January 2012 at 12:50
No, no, DM, there is nothing wrong with their usually excellent 'beefsteak' but I was once caught out by ordering just a 'steak' which turned out, of course, to be horse! Totally tasteless, as I recall.
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 12 January 2012 at 12:56
In an Aussie restaurant our party once ordered two Kangaroo Steaks, medium rare, such-and-such sauce, and a poulet a l'estragon. Aa the waiter entered the kitchen he bellowed "Two roos and a chook."
Posted by: dearieme | Thursday, 12 January 2012 at 16:00
An Aussie restaurant! Don't ask me why, DM, but those words fill me with dread. (Oh dear, stand by for incoming Andra!)
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 12 January 2012 at 17:49
My God, Duffers, you're enormously out of date. Food v fine in Adelaide, Melbourne, that city in NSW whose name escapes me. Can't comment on Perth, but one of the best French meals I've ever had was in Brisie. But avoid the steak - on the whole, the buggers don't hang their meat properly (or didn't: I realise to my horror that it's 20 years since we lived there).
It's true that a breakfast at an outback hotel could be dire, but not many people will ever experience that.
Posted by: dearieme | Thursday, 12 January 2012 at 18:26
"My God, Duffers, you're enormously out of date".
Hardly news, DM, I was considerd out of date when I was 19! Actually, your news and views on Aussie cuisine has been confirmed to me by others but I resolutely refuse to countenance them. After all, a chap is entitled to his cherished prejudices, is he not?
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 12 January 2012 at 20:50
Hmm. From falsies to steaks. I see the connection!
Mr. North is typical of many executives today - no the NHS is NOT morally responsible for replacing implants that HIS company should have vetted for quality. Shoddy, shoddy, shoddy. In fact, if I were "Waynetta" and her ilk, I would sue the company that sold the defective goods.
and that is my opinion, ;P
Posted by: missred | Friday, 13 January 2012 at 00:46
Well, you hideous old man, I know you're cowering in the corner, and so you should.
My dander is hitting the ceiling and I am so totally full of gruntle I'm almost rattling!
You asked for it and get it you shall.
Australia has the best produce and on the planet, bar none, and our chefs are in great demand all over the world. I can't believe you are not aware of this.
My son and the spare son are both fine chefs and so is a daughter-in-law.
I, myself, am feted far and wide as a cook of great renown and people clamour, clamour I tell you, to dine on my chefly delights.
Most of our steak is excellent (Melbourne has superb meat) except up here in Far North Queensland, sadly. And that's because we export our best produce.
I personally buy whole rump and fillet steaks from King Island, which is off the coast of Tasmania and about as far away from Cairns as a body can get and not be in Antarctica.
And that, hopefully, ends this discussion.
Plum Duff, indeed!
Posted by: Andra | Friday, 13 January 2012 at 00:57
'Missred', a slight misunderstanding due, no doubt, to my less than clear grammar but Richard North is the blog owner who was reporting on the problem. The chairman of the company, a fat, smug-looking cove, can be seen via the link at the beginning of para 2. You might like to print of his photo and keep it by your bedside - or not!
Andra, what's the Australian for 'I surrender'?
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 13 January 2012 at 09:11
Thank you, sir for correcting my mis-read. I did not go to the link (more of that lazy thingy) but have now. The trouble is all that government oversight enables the provider to be lazy on quality control and further relieves (in their minds) the provider of responsibility. I stand by my remarks that the provider should have vetted for quality and to not do otherwise is criminal. I don't give a flying **** who approved what, what I expect from any supplier is that they guarantee their quality of goods. If not, I will find someone who will. Again. Shoddy. Shoddy. Shoddy.
Posted by: missred | Friday, 13 January 2012 at 15:43
I don't disagree with you, Missred (would I dare?), but you can imagine m'learned friends (Britspeak for weasel lawyers!) earning a fortune as they argue that one through the British courts and then on to the European courts.
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 13 January 2012 at 15:58