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Sunday, 25 March 2012


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Yes - a spell of good weather certainly adds some zest to daily life. Global warming - bring it on I say. I may even mow the lawn today. Possibly.

The weather forecast says we are in for more fine weather over the next few days. I'm feeling pretty good because I have cut back all the hedges a few weeks ago (before the birds started nesting) and the first veg seeds are in and doing nicely. I am also in a "garden share" scheme with a couple of locals who don't want the hassle of gardening and are happy for me to till their soil in exchange for a share of the produce.

This personal stuff has more impact upon well-being than what happens elsewhere in the world. No news is good news.

Until, of course, Huhne gets banged up.


You're way behind the times. I on the other hand, being an aficionado of both 'Blade Runner' and 'Firefly', have been trying out the odd Mandarin and Cantonese phrase for years, with sometimes unfortunate consequences (I only asked for extra bamboo-shoots with my King-prawns and now I am married to a very nice lady from Beijing! I dread to think what would have happened if I asked for Cashew nuts instead)

Here are some helpful phrases to get you started:

Sum Ting Wong That's not right

Hu Yu Hai Ding Are you harbouring a fugitive?

Kum Hia Nao See me asap

Dum Gai Stupid man

Tai Ni Po Ni Small horse

Wai So Dim? It's very dark in here

Wai Yu Mun Ching? I thought you were on a diet

No Pah King This is a tow-away zone

Wai Yu Kum Nao? Our meeting is scheduled for next week

Lei Ying Lo Staying out of sight

Wa Shing Ka He's cleaning his automobile

Yu Stin Ki Pu Your body odour is offensive

Wai Yu So Tan? Did you go to the beach?

Ai Bang Mai Ni I bumped into a coffee table

Chin Tu Fat I think you need a face lift

Able, thank goodness I have a Chinese translator to hand and, moreover, one with a sense of humour.

'W', I refuse to tell you the size of my, er, garden. Suffice to say that with your expertise I suspect you could sort it in about an hour and half. It has taken me three days. Well, not a full three days, one has to stop and gossip with neighbours, several dozen cups of tea are required and, of course, there is always lunch which must never be hurried.

AK, please don't mention mowing. The unmitigated ratbag who mows the strip next to mine in the churchyard has already done his first cut leaving my strip looking as scruffy as hell. Dammit, I shall have no excuse next week if this weather keeps up.

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