Well, none of you expect much in the way of originality from this blog having grown used to a steady diet of purloined gems from OPBs (Other People's Blogs). But this time you may be more sympathetic because I have actually nicked this item from a lawyer's blog - so that can't be all wrong, m' Lud, can it? The victim of my crime is the very fierce Anna Raccoon in that she actually owns the blog concerned but she has a plethora of contributing writers and this particular item was dreamt up by 'Sadbutmadlad', a witty fellow and one of her regulars.
He is concerned over the decision as to whose portrait should adorn the new £10 note. Currently Charles Darwin occupies this spot but apparently there are moves afoot to replace him with Alan Turing. He, of course, deserves any number of honorifics for his scientific achievements but in this one catches the whiff (the perfume?) of homosexual rights agitation. If you wish to discuss that you may but 'Sadbutmadlad' offers an alternative and rather more intriguing game to play. He imagines a toilet roll upon which the portrait of anyone you choose may be imprinted on each and every sheet. Easy-peasy, you think as you remind yourself of exactly who is in the cabinet, or the shadow cabinet, depending on the colour of your politics. But here is where the 'Sadbutmadlad', and also dead crafty lad, slips in a tricky rule: no politicians allowed! So, here you go:
You are allowed several goes if further names occur but beware the predicament of the man using the bathroom in a friend's house who, when turning to reach for the toilet roll, finds this and nothing else:
When I were nobbut a very junior wage-slave in the City in the 80s, and Iran's rather austere spiritual leader was behaving particularly badly towards the West, one of my superiors (where are you now, Mr Thunhurst?) proposed an exciting money-making enterprise.
He suggested commissioning vast quantities of loo-rolls, to be sold through 'Private Eye'. Each sheet would be tastefully printed with the holy man's portrait and a descriptive slogan at which none of the forbidding cleric's adherents could possibly take offence. It would, of course, be no more than an unarguable fact:
"The Ayatollah Khomenei is a Shiite"
Posted by: Webwrights | Saturday, 16 June 2012 at 09:58
Can we put Toni Blair on to when he becomes Pope?
Posted by: dearieme | Saturday, 16 June 2012 at 10:18
Love it, 'Webbers, love it!
I suppose it will be a way for us to wipe away his sins, DM!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 16 June 2012 at 12:27
Not a person I know, but I'd go for the EU flag.
Posted by: A K Haart | Saturday, 16 June 2012 at 15:50
too many contenders!
Posted by: missred | Saturday, 16 June 2012 at 17:47
Damn! Wish I'd thought of that one, AK.
Come along, Miss Red, you must choose or you will be kept in after school and forced to write "I love Joe Biden" one hundred times!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 16 June 2012 at 18:04
The problem is, dear Duff, is that I wouldn't want any of my contenders near my nethers!
Posted by: missred | Saturday, 16 June 2012 at 21:26
ok, I will play properly. After much thought, going back and forth, avoiding the politician, the person whose face I would like to wipe my arse would be Oprah
Posted by: missred | Saturday, 16 June 2012 at 21:48
Now I know why I love you, Miss Red!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 16 June 2012 at 22:53