So, darlings, did the earth move for you last night?

No, no, not that; I mean the Olympic opening 'jamboree', for lack of a better word because 'ceremony', apart from the  absolute essentials insisted on by the megalomaniacs who rule Olympia and the world, was kicked into touch by this zany, irreverent, Left-leaning, 'flash-party'.  Danny Boyle, the creator and director, faced an immense problem given the decision he took to try and encapsulate all that has gone before and all that exists now in that great 'mess of pottage' we now call Great Britain.  That is clearly impossible and so it became an exercise in picking and choosing.  So out went the Romans who first civilised us; away went the medieval period and perhaps the most significant item in our entire history, Magna Carta;  no mention of the Rennaissance and the Reformation; dear old Will was given a few brief lines totally out of context; and so we really didn't get the story going until we were given a brief nod in the direction of rural England before the industrial revolution.  (It is worth recording that the agricultural revolution which ran alongside its better known 'cousin' was equally important but, dammit, this was show business not a history lesson.)

Anyway, with neat, if not entirely accurate symbolism, the country bumpkins and their rural idyll were literally and metaphorically torn up and swept away in an intricate dance spectacular by Isambard Brunel and his cohorts and great factory chimneys arose with alm0st viagra-inspired erectness in the middle of the arena  I'm not sure if the very Lefty Danny Boyle approved or disapproved but his next, er, 'Great Leap Forward' was to that demi-God of Socialism, the National Health Service.  This occasioned a telephone call from 'SoD' (Son of Duff) who is somewhere to the Right of Ghenghis Khan and who then went into a minor rant sounding like the personification of 'Disgusted from Tunbridge Wells'.  I had to remind him that as the old man of the family it was my job to be Mr. Grumpy!  I am tempted to delve further into the pros and cons of the NHS but that could take several hours which I do not have to spare.  Mr. Boyle then took us into a phantasia based on children's books but with his historical blindness he concentrated on J. K. Rowling's output and, unless I missed it, not a mention of poor little Alice and her Mad Hatter, or Ratty and Mole, or the Famous Five, because they, of course, were written before Mr. Boyle was born and therefor were not part of his, um 'world view'!  After that it all degenerated into an overlong paean of praise to sundry pop groups.  I tried - no, really I did - to remind myself that this may not resonate with old fossils like me but that it was possibly deeply moving to the younger generation - yeeeees, quite!

However, Mr. Boyle and his one-eyed view of the world was saved by one huge, incredible, unbelievable and utterly unexpected ingredient to his extravaganza - humour!  Truly, the very last thing I expected to do last night was - laugh!  But I did, several times.  The James Bond pastiche with the Queen was witty, sharp and sophisticated.  Even better was Mr. Bean attempting to play the keyboard in a performance by the London Symphony Orchestra conducted by Sir Simon Rattle , no less, of the theme from Chariots of Fire.  The film and the music are almost Holy Writ for Olympians and for Boyle to have the nerve to poke gentle fun at it was delicious.  Both those elements were genuine examples of a trait, not celebrated often enough in this country, our sense of humour, the best of which always borders dangerously on the anarchic.  (I did wonder how Mr. Bean would appear to, say, millions of Chinese but this morning on Sky News a Chinese sportsman told us that he is huge in China and that his films are played constantly - who da thunk it?)  I must confess that when the entry of the gladiators the national teams began I went to bed.  As these no doubt splendid young men and women strolled in to the stadium smiling, smiling, smiling, it seemed like a short course in death before they even reached Azerbaijan, and the thought of waiting around to see Zambia was too much.

Anyway, Mr. Boyle was always going to be on a loser in trying to encapsulate all of Britain in one extravanganza, despite the eye-wateringly extravagant expense of it all.  At least he avoided  the ghastliness of the militarised manouvres of the Chinese parades four years ago in which human beings were reduced to disciplined, ant-like status in the finest traditions of totalitarian governments everywhere.  Boyle's production was free-flowing, humorous, iconoclastic, individualistic and, above all else - and here I must apologise for using an f-word that normally never passes my lips or keyboard - fun!

 

Comments

[Andy]

It was lefty crap at it's worst. The country is finished.

[JK]

Actually.

I thought I saw your hand David - pre-extravaganza when the screen showed North Korean midgets and your media (or was it actually you David?) announced it was South Korea, prompting the Norkies to abandon the field!

Nice touch that. Took it to be that "British Humour" [please do note how I've spelt it] you often aim for. I laughed too incidentally.

[David Duff]

But, Andy, if you looked back on British history from around the beginning of the 19th century and on to today then, setting aside sundry world wars mention of which is considered to be in bad taste in Olympic circles, you would have to say that the period is dominated by the rise of the industrial revolution and then its overthrow by the social(ist) revolution. You might not like one, or both of them, but they are undoubteldy the dominant factors in British domestic evolution in the last 200-odd years. Yes, of course, Boyle spiced it with bits and pieces of Left-wing-beloved iconography, like CND, but I am prepared to forgive him his silliness because he did make me laugh. One should be grateful for that because the unctious, pontifical political-correctness of global orgs like the 'Olympic Movement' usually freeze out all humour from anything with which they are connected.

[David Duff]

Not guilty, JK, although the potential for malicious and hilarious sabotage along those lines is immense - and tempting!

[missred]

I agree with you for the most part. However, the word lowbrow came to mind. Bond and the Queen certainly brought a chuckle as well as Mr Bean - although I am not a big fan of his. The parade of nations with the fireworks and lighting of the torch redeemed the tedium. Sir Macca's voice started off weak and old, but then I never did like the song.
Yes, Britain has a rich history to celebrate and to limit it to the Industrial Revolution was a pity. The celebration of the NHS was pure fantasy! I could go on, but this is your blog!

[Andy]

Is a man, 40 years after being famous, who could not sing the best we can do?

[David Duff]

Miss Red, you are free to "go on" for as long as you like on this blog provided you continue to post pictures of those delicious ladies on your blog thereby injecting a little happiness into an old man's life!

To be more serious, I do believe that national power is derived from national economic power and that makes the British industrial revolution (I prefer the word evolution) so hugely important in our history and I think Boyle was right to emphasise it. As to the NHS, I am a free marketeer by conviction, but I do believe that any civilised society has 'a duty of care' to its sick, lame and halt. The NHS, more or less, provides that although unfortunately it only does so at eye-watering expense. That it is beloved of socialists is understandable given that they began it all. Today, more and more people are beginning to question whether it is the best, that is, most efficient, way for society to discharge its duty and this threat makes the socialists all the more frantic to defend it. I understand Boyle's motivation. Even so, it was an excellent choice as a symbol to represent all the socialisation of Britain that has taken place in the 20th century. The interesting question is what will be the dominating theme of the 21st c.? A counter socialisation, perhaps!

Andy, alas, I stand before you as a man who once, in the early '60s and hearing the Beatles for the first time, pronounced them to be rubbish and foretold that they would go nowhere! Happily, I went to bed long before he began warbling!

[Lawrence Duff]

They should have kicked off by using that Teletubbies hill for a re-enactment of the final moment of the battle of Waterloo, it being a dead ringer for the crest between Hougemont and le Haye Saint.

Then everyone would know how the Grenadier Guards got their name and bearskin headgear from, and why we don't speak French (not for a thousand years or so, anyway).

And instead of the boat load of Commonwealth immigrants boldly stepping forth, they should have had a Ryanair plane disgorge its cargo of long-legged, pert-breasted, post-Ost Blok au pair girls heading for pastures new in London's "Nappy Valley".

But I guess the immigrants of the collapsed British empire are centre stage and the immigrants of the collapsed Socialist empire are airbrushed out of Boyle's Britain.

Yeh, I'd have been happy with that.

And then, oh the irony, all the hot Czech chick athletes arrive wearing Wellington boots. Phwoaaar, vive l'empereur!

All's well that ends well.

SoD

[JuliaM]

I don't care how much it cost - the Red Arrows came directly over my house in formation so it was worth every penny.. :)

[Sam]

By going to bed early you were fortunate to miss the ghastly sight of the British team in daughter of Macca's designer outfits. Tawdry gold and white rags that you might expect to see hanging on the coat pegs in a Scouse tanning parlour.
Also, why did we have to hear the announcements first in French, then repeated in English? Another Olympic Committee demand, I expect. The the language of the host nation should take precedence.
Finally, I agree the new Bond girl was a knockout – but the few camera shots of her and Duke in the stands, heads slumped on chests, clearly showed they were bored rigid by the show.

[David Duff]

I think the heat, the Olympic excitement and all that Czech beer is getting to you, SoD. Now, go and lie down and play your tape of 'Pomp and Circumstance'!

I have it on good authority, Julia, that they diverted their course especially to fly over you. I trust they dipped their wings!

Sam, you are now the proud winner of the D&N prize for Best Imagery in a Comment: "Tawdry gold and white rags that you might expect to see hanging on the coat pegs in a Scouse tanning parlour." Damn! I wish I'd thought of that one.

[JK]

Cheers David:

http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2012/07/25/once_upon_a_time_in_old_london_town

[David Duff]

See new post, JK.