What is it with American politicians? Mitt Romney, never high in my admittedly il-informed estimation, came to this country allegedly to cement 'the Special Relationship' but in fact to collect shed-loads of dosh from ex-patriate Americans for his election campaign. All he had to do whilst here was to keep his mouth shut, nod, smile and if absolutely forced to answer questions 'just say nicely-nicely'. Her Maj has been doing it for 60 years although I admit she doesn't smile all that often - who would with a job like hers?! But no, 'Thick Mitt' opens his 'stoopid' mouth and criticises his hosts. Meanwhile, 'over there' the President, no less, completely at a loss for words without his tele-prompter (he's a university intellectual, don'cha know!) tells zillions of small businessmen that they did not build up their little companies, Uncle Sam did! I mean, politicians are at least supposed to be good at sucking up to voters but Obama can't even manage that.
Dodging the bullet of reality: There has been, rightly, an uproar in America over the slaughter of 12 people in a cinema. So great was the furore that the President felt it necessary to give up some golfing and schmoozing-for-donations time to visit the city of Aurora and commiserate with the families. Meanwhile, back in Obama's political home town, Chicago, 28 people have already been slaughtered this month! Did you see any headlines? No, nor me! As for a presidential visit - fagetabatit!
What are the odds on Boris? In this country it usually helps a politician if he is thought to be a bit eccentric because we all have a soft spot for people, particularly toffs, prepared, in a not too serious way, to blithely disregard the usual norms. It helps even more if somehow the politician can contrive to leave the impression that, actually, behind the apparent daftness there is a very good mind at work. All of this Boris Johnson does with supreme ease. He is obviously positioning himself for a return to parliament and a run at the top job when the Stupid Party Conservative Party realises that it has elected as its leader the dimmest light bulb ever to pass through Eton without ever once being switched on. I have no idea if Boris has what it takes to run the country but I do suspect that it would, in parts, be rather amusing!
Who da thunkit? Well, not that mighty intellectual colossus in The White House or any of the Democrat brain-boxes who surround him, apparently. Obama and his polit-bureau have taken a consistently hostile line against the building of an oil/gas pipe-line from Canada down into central USA in order to take advantage of huge new oil and gas resources found in their northern neighbour's territory. Instead they spent their time and their taxpayers' money shovelling zillions into corrupt, so called 'alternative energy' enterprises like Solyndra which have taken the money and promptly gone bust. Needless to say, the Chinese have stepped in quickly and are about to sign a $15 bn deal with the Canadians which will mean that if the Americans want any they will have to buy it from the Chinese. Sounds of "Duh! I never thoughta that one, Barney!" are to be heard in The White House.
The perfect holiday read? We are all used to hotels offering us porn channels on the TVs in the rooms but, accordingto those rascals at IHTM, some enterprising hotel-keeper in the Lake District has replaced the copies of the Gideon Bible usually to be found in the bedside tables with copies of Fifty Shades of Grey, the latest block-busting, or perhaps, 'ball-breaking', piece of pornogrpahy that is top of all the big seller lists. It, and the two other volumes that follow it, are written by a lady which at first makes them sound slightly alluring. Alas, I caught a glimpse of a photograph of the lady concerned and instantly such interest as I had, er, shrivelled. The Memsahib's best friend has loaned her a copy and she keeps telling me that it is absolute rubbish but, oddly, the house has been rather quiet over recent days with far fewer of the usual peremptory orders because she has her nose stuck inthis book! I sneaked a look (natch!) when she was out but the first sentence I read was "His eyes burned into me with passion" at which point such 'passion' as I could muster fled. What a dire, turgid sentence and I cannot believe the composer of it could excite me in the slightest. Anyway, I gather a lot of it is concerned with S&M and as I have a pain threshold on the minus scale, I doubt whether it would interest me.
Trying hard to be fair to Romney, the muppet was put in a difficult position as far as the Olympics were concerned. Ten years ago he ran the Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City and got a lot of credit for doing this in a businesslike manner. He had to say something critical about the London effort, or he would have looked completely stupid if anything at all had gone wrong. If he had made some nice bland comment and the Queen had been hit by a lump of flying debris or one of the Mary Poppins actors had been an Islamic terrorist, you can imagine the ridicule back in the States. He was reminding the folk back home that Olympics are what he does. I doubt if he gives a stuff about our sensibilities.
Posted by: Whyaxye | Sunday, 29 July 2012 at 13:09
My God, you really are trying hard, 'W', but, alas, to no avail. The very first skill of every modern politician is to master teh art of speaking but saying nothing. Way to go, Mitt, baby!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 29 July 2012 at 16:31
"What is it with American politicians" indeed. I told you not so long ago (in fact just down where that stand-up Nigerian is... or was...or... nevermind, you're responsible for that sort of thing) anyway - I handed you the golden opportunity to keep our visiting pols whilst you had them in your jurisdiction.
Incidentally, I'll bet you dollars to donuts - should He win re-election - His first order of business will not be Peace In Our Time even if there was a snowball's chance in hell of it - no, His first few seconds in office will be signing the orders to build the Keystone Pipeline.
Solyndras are for first-termers.
Posted by: JK | Sunday, 29 July 2012 at 21:44
I've just been given a copy of "Contested Will" by Shapiro. Add it to your "to do" list, Duffers.
Posted by: dearieme | Sunday, 29 July 2012 at 23:09
Now listen, JK, and get your priorities straight! When the euro goes tits up you can send food parcels but do not, under any circs, send us your useless politicians we have an over-supply of them already. Er, have a nice day!
DM, thanks for the tip. Shapiro's earlier book "1599" was simply terrific. On this one, of which I will own a copy before the week is out, I was very struck with this review by the always perceptive Hilary Mantel - even if it is in 'The Graun':
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2010/mar/20/contested-will-who-wrote-shakespeare
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 30 July 2012 at 08:35
Well then.
Any room in your MoD for a few dozen Flag-ranked officers? Generals and Admirals I mean. FOX (and other media sorts have them running out of stuff to lend their expertise expounding on - last evening CNN treated us to an Admiral explaining the effect the UK's climate was having on our athletes)
which, in itself wasn't too bad - if only he'd done his expounding during anythong [proofreading revealed this error but I'm not fixing it] other than women's beach volleyball.
Posted by: JK | Monday, 30 July 2012 at 19:04
We have a surfeit of generals and admirals, JK. And I am trying hard not to look at all those tedious 'hearties' because it tires me out. I did order the Memsahib to wake me up if the ladies' beach volley-ball came on but I haven't heard from her so I assume it hasn't - unless, of course, she hasn't told me!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 30 July 2012 at 19:31
DD, I'm really not sure that you should even be thinking of pornography and such nasty things, at your age.
Remember, you have the church of St. John the Eveready or something next door.
Somebody is always watching you!
Posted by: Andra | Tuesday, 31 July 2012 at 01:41
Try telling that to the missus!
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 31 July 2012 at 08:25