He takes jolly good care of you, or so I am assured by the vicar when I cut his Churchyard grass! Hitherto I have treated his platitude with a certain scorn but maybe, just maybe, there's something to it. Today, as I told you in the preceding post, the Memsahib and I went off to enjoy the global warming (why would anyone be against global warming assuming it ever happens?) at our favourite place, the Hive Cafe beach at Burton Bradstock. This is along the coastal road that rightly deserves to be called the 'English Corniche'. The Hive Cafe, incidentally, is just that - a cafe - no pretensions, no fancies, no sneery waiters, just the very best and very freshest fish, lobster and prawns from the fishermen up the coast.
Anyway, we were sitting outside the Cafe in the sunshine. I was stripped to the waist which caused some excitement amongst the younger females, well, they were all smiling and laughing, when suddenly an air ambulance helicopter appeared and hovered just around the huge cliff headland to the right of our beach. It was quickly followed by two more and then sundry police and coastguard cars arrived. Coming home in the car our suspicions were confirmed when they reported that part of the massive cliff had slid down and, desperately sadly, it looks as though someone - possibly a lady - had been buried. As so often, I immediately recalled Gloucester's bitter words in King Lear:
As flies to wanton boys are we to the Gods/ They kill us for their sport.
We had a near miss walking along the beach as Sidmouth a few years back. Heard a loud rumble, looked round and a chunk of cliff had fallen down where we'd been walking. Not a huge fall, but rocks easily big enough to kill.
Posted by: A K Haart | Tuesday, 24 July 2012 at 17:38
So good to know that there is such a thing as the air ambulance -shame it's one of those essentials that Government can't find funds for (despite funding their miserablist friends in the lobbying charities)!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Xopher | Tuesday, 24 July 2012 at 19:09
Indeed, the air ambulance has to pay VAT on fuel. Life boats don't - and both have to raise money from the public as NO government has supported them. This lot have not withdrawn support because the previous lot didn't put it there in the first place.
Posted by: Andrew | Tuesday, 24 July 2012 at 20:45
Your reward for a clean and upright life, AK!
But Xopher and Andrew, you must try and see it from the politians' point of view - how many votes and/or how much money is there in it? For example, the plump-cheeked, Mr. Yeo MP, who knows exactly the value of his support for alternative energy policies given that he earns a small fortune from it!
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 24 July 2012 at 21:28
Do you think the sight of your semi-naked body caused the gods to become angry and/or jealous and seek revenge?
Just a thought...........
Posted by: Andra | Wednesday, 25 July 2012 at 01:03
You are a shrewd judge, Andra.
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 25 July 2012 at 09:27
It's a terrible burden to live with a physique which causes the fairer sex to swoon, isn't it?
Unaccountably I am banned locally from wearing shorts after the unfortunate episode when I wore a kilt (The hospital tells me the old lady has quite recovered and apparently only screams 'The Knees, The Knees!!!' occasionally in her sleep now). The ladies are generally safe from my torso being exposed (sorry ladies!) because I, after five minutes exposure to the sun, look as if I have been attacked with a blow-torch, followed by weeks of resembling a primary case of Hansens disease.
I'm also banned from singing in public too. This arose as a consequence of my occasionally forgetting where I am and singing along with my MP3 player in the street. The scene is a shambles. Grown men gnash their teeth and pull their hair (in jealousy), old ladies collapse (in swooning admiration), children run screaming (to get their friends to come and listen too) and the police turn up in force (for crowd control and to ask for my autograph, of course). Having talent like this is such a trial at times!
In addition to my understated good looks, athletic physique and amazing vocal talents I am doubly cursed in having comedic talents too. I can't seem to stop cheering people up (although strangely it seems to mostly be young ladies who fall about laughing, unaccountably just after I ask them for a date or a dance?!?). My sense of humour is so well respected that never a day goes by without some friend, colleague, or even stranger, telling me I am 'full of wit' (at least I think it was wit they said?).
Oh damn! I think I forgot my medication again ;-)
Oh, you might want to read about 'The Pink Gorilla Suit' at:
http://thelawdogfiles.blogspot.co.uk/2008/08/pink-gorilla-suit.html
as an observation on the psychology of the criminal, a primer on law-enforcement procedures, an example of literary prose (or maybe because I laughed so much I think I hurt myself). Do a search on his Ratel (1-6) escapades too (why couldn't my childhood have included ballistas and bowling balls?).
Posted by: Able | Wednesday, 25 July 2012 at 10:27
Thank you, Able, for the link which I will get around to later. Also, I share your difficulties over being drop-dead good-looking and also being stuffed top to bottom with talent, it's such a burden!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 25 July 2012 at 11:43