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Tuesday, 24 July 2012


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We had a near miss walking along the beach as Sidmouth a few years back. Heard a loud rumble, looked round and a chunk of cliff had fallen down where we'd been walking. Not a huge fall, but rocks easily big enough to kill.

So good to know that there is such a thing as the air ambulance -shame it's one of those essentials that Government can't find funds for (despite funding their miserablist friends in the lobbying charities)!!!!!!!!

Indeed, the air ambulance has to pay VAT on fuel. Life boats don't - and both have to raise money from the public as NO government has supported them. This lot have not withdrawn support because the previous lot didn't put it there in the first place.

Your reward for a clean and upright life, AK!

But Xopher and Andrew, you must try and see it from the politians' point of view - how many votes and/or how much money is there in it? For example, the plump-cheeked, Mr. Yeo MP, who knows exactly the value of his support for alternative energy policies given that he earns a small fortune from it!

Do you think the sight of your semi-naked body caused the gods to become angry and/or jealous and seek revenge?
Just a thought...........

You are a shrewd judge, Andra.

It's a terrible burden to live with a physique which causes the fairer sex to swoon, isn't it?

Unaccountably I am banned locally from wearing shorts after the unfortunate episode when I wore a kilt (The hospital tells me the old lady has quite recovered and apparently only screams 'The Knees, The Knees!!!' occasionally in her sleep now). The ladies are generally safe from my torso being exposed (sorry ladies!) because I, after five minutes exposure to the sun, look as if I have been attacked with a blow-torch, followed by weeks of resembling a primary case of Hansens disease.

I'm also banned from singing in public too. This arose as a consequence of my occasionally forgetting where I am and singing along with my MP3 player in the street. The scene is a shambles. Grown men gnash their teeth and pull their hair (in jealousy), old ladies collapse (in swooning admiration), children run screaming (to get their friends to come and listen too) and the police turn up in force (for crowd control and to ask for my autograph, of course). Having talent like this is such a trial at times!

In addition to my understated good looks, athletic physique and amazing vocal talents I am doubly cursed in having comedic talents too. I can't seem to stop cheering people up (although strangely it seems to mostly be young ladies who fall about laughing, unaccountably just after I ask them for a date or a dance?!?). My sense of humour is so well respected that never a day goes by without some friend, colleague, or even stranger, telling me I am 'full of wit' (at least I think it was wit they said?).

Oh damn! I think I forgot my medication again ;-)

Oh, you might want to read about 'The Pink Gorilla Suit' at:

as an observation on the psychology of the criminal, a primer on law-enforcement procedures, an example of literary prose (or maybe because I laughed so much I think I hurt myself). Do a search on his Ratel (1-6) escapades too (why couldn't my childhood have included ballistas and bowling balls?).

Thank you, Able, for the link which I will get around to later. Also, I share your difficulties over being drop-dead good-looking and also being stuffed top to bottom with talent, it's such a burden!

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