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Monday, 13 August 2012


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Until they introduce synchronised diving on dressage horses, I'll avoid the Olympics.

How about a rule that lady athletes must have a bust?

Stick around, DM, it canonly be a matter of time! (By the way, just started Shapiro's 'Contested Will' - superb, and I'm only on page six!

'Envelope', it's an idea - thinking of becoming the photo-finish judge, are you?

Duffers, I found it flagged just a little in the middle since dismissing de Vere isn't much different from dismissing Bacon. Then it picks up again. All in all, it's a smasher.

I find it a bit worrying that all these politicians are leaping into "sport". As the whole thing seemed to go very well and as we got loads of medals, presumably the way we have been doing it is OK. Why not just carry on as we are? Of course, I know why. There is no situation a government can not make worse.

I would quite like to see our flabby leaders in action though. Imagine Miliband on a large horse or Cameron in Speedos in the beach volley ball arena. Or Cleggy in the boxing with that nice black girl!

Thanks, DM, I'll persevere.

'Envelope', don't you dare put Cameron into the beach volleyball arena, that's reserved for me. I don't actually own any Speedos but I'm sure my old army PT shorts that reach tastefully to my knees plus my string vest will turn the Brazilian gals into a frenzy. Put Cameron in with the lady judo wrestlers, they'll murder him!

Nice erses David the Braz Burds I mean. I would give up my winter fuel allowance for wan.

I think even I'd be interested in seeing synchronised diving on horseback.
Where's the suggestion box?
I have no idea what anybody else is talking about.

But, I wonder, Jimmy, what they would give up for you? I mean you being a prime bit of Scottish beefcake and all that!

Andra, Jimmy is a Jock and therefore a simultaneous translator is required.

Don't think it was actually Lennon singing Imagine, but I don't want to be a pedant...

I suppose Mo is a shoo-in for the award but personally I'm backing "MDL" to use your standard shorthand Mr. D. No prizes for guessing who I mean.

I went to bed halfway through the closing ceremony - thank heavens I did because apparently the unspeakable cad Brand appeared later. I never want to see, hear, or hear about that man ever again.

The whole fortnight was a blast and I enjoyed it enormously.

"L"? "L"? "L"? Oh come on, Andrew, I haven't a clue who 'L' is, I mean, I didn't watch it all that closely. Your secret is safe with me!

"MDL" is, I believe, only the fourth British woman ever to win two gold medals in one Olympics.

That's enough for you to go on, I'm sure.

Bloody hell, it took me ages to find out, Andrew, but it was worth it, she's a very pretty young woman, but alas, she's spoken for, I gather:

Yes, I know, very disappointing - to me, you, and about five million other guys I would imagine.

Still, good luck to them!

Ah, the pain of unrequited love - both MDS and MDA are suffering because I simply cannot make up my mind between them - sorry, ladies!

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