Come on, people, anybody have any ideas?

I ask because it is obvious that our homegrown politicians have none.  This is a real problem given that the Euro-pols definitely do have some ideas and I do not care very much for any of them.  Gradually, centimetre by centimetre, they are being 'dragged' along the path to fiscal union.  I use inverted commas round the word 'dragged' because of course some of them are only pretending to be dragged and in fact are delighted with the direction the markets are taking them.  The absolutely key player in this game of pretence is, was and forever will be, the Chancellor of Germany, at the moment, Frau Merkel.  There is now no doubt that she is happy to be dragged along but she puts up a fine show of resistance lest a hint of her real eagerness frightens the German 'horses', otherwise known as her electorate.  They, poor (er, well, fairly rich, actually) wretches have no power at all.  Both of their main political parties might huff and puff at the dishonest extravagance of their Mediterranean neighbours but they both remain firmly wedded to the euro currency without which the profit on their Mercedes and BMWs would shrink as fast as a new Deutschemark would rocket up the exchange rates.  So in essence, they have no where to go and in fact, even if they were offered a genuine chance of voting to come out of the European Union, I don't think a majority would.

And that brings me back, handkerchief covering my nose, to the GBP (Great British Public).  It is now virtually certain that there will be a referendum in Britain sometime in the next year or two or three.  The indefatigable Richard North, a man who seems to spend every waking minute - and I'm beginning to think he never goes to bed! - analysing the shifting sands of European politics, warns that any Euro-sceptics thinking they will be offered a straightforward 'In or Out' proposition need to take a very cold reality shower!  The catalyst for a referendum will be a new EU treaty formalising the fiscal pact that the markets are demanding.  Now - and at this point I must ask you to brace up and act like a true Brit - obviously our chaps at the FO under the inspired leadership of a our Prime Minister with the very able - and apologetic - Deputy Prime Minister will be undertaking a vigorous campaign to ensure that British interests are safeguarded - look, I told you to brace up - and even though we are the odd man out I'm sure all those Euro-pols and bureaucrats will be eager to listen - oh, for God's sake, the sick bag's over there - so really, no, really, there's nothing to worry about - oh dear, suddenly I don't feel too well either . . .

Ah, that's better, where was I?  So the choice you will be offered will be between joining up as a full member or signing on as subsidiary member, or a spare part, if you like, in which all the full members will delight in venting their cherished historical spite on a nation they think of as a sort of America in disguise.  But Richard North goes further and confirms my long-held uneasiness that even if we Euro-phobes push and shove for an 'In/Out' referendum we will get nowhere with the GBP if we simply assume they share our visceral dislike for the whole rotten edifice.  To make any headway, it is crucial that we offer an alternative.  In other words we need that "vison thang".  And it is precisely at that point that Dr. North points out, with typical 'Yorkie' bluntness, that virtually none of us sceptics can agree with each other on an alternative.

Oh dear, there will be tears, let's hope there will not be blood as well!

 

Comments

[JK]

"I ask because I have no ideas."?

Heck David. You're unfamiliar with the US' William Pitt or even our Winston?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/martin-olson/phil-davison-gop-speech_b_710642.html

[David Duff]

Bloody hell, JK, where do you find these things? And what are you doing up at 4.00 in the morning?

[backofanenvelope]

Personally, I think that in an in/out referendum, the GBP will vote to stay in. When faced with a choice between the plonkers in Westminster/Whitehall and the idiots in Brussels, they will just say WTF! I think that is what the Greeks, Italians, Portugese and Irish think as well. Lets keep our heads down and say as little as possible, secure in the knowledge that if anyone can bring the whole thing down in ruins it is the people currently in charge - here and in Brussels.

[dearieme]

It's time we had a war in the British national interest. Let's invade Norway.

[rogerh]

Children must not be allowed to play with matches.

[backofanenvelope]

Norway would be a bit tricky. How about the Isle of Wight?

[David Duff]

A case,'Envelope', of severe Bellocs:
"And always keep a-hold of Nurse; For fear of finding something worse".

Not Norway, DM, eons ago I once did an exercise up there and I'm sure my arse is still somewhere north of Narvik because it froze right off! How about Majorca? Filled with hot and cold running girls, I'm told!

[dearieme]

But no oil, Duffers.

[David Duff]

I think I could cope!

[Able]

I wonder! I admit it's hardly a representative sample of GBP but I can't think of anyone I have any contact with from business people, fellow health professionals, support staff, academics, to the (extremely attractive) ladies in the coffee shop (Hey, you don't think I actually NEED to drink 27 cups a day, do you?) who have expressed anything other than the belief that GB should leave EU Pronto! [for the record there's some major variation in the politics, educational ability/qualifications and even nationality/race/religion in that sample].

I suspect .Gov knows this, which is why we'd never be offered the option.

Oh, and since what is needed is a 'Short Victorious War', and considering the current overstretched British forces, the recent cut-backs, equipment issues, etc. may I suggest declaring war on the first form of the International Preparatory School, Labourdonnais, Mauritius (NOT the second years, as they're a bit vicious and getting our a***e kicked is not good propaganda). Gorgeous weather, beautiful beaches and lovely people who, after we surrender, will ply us with Mai Tai's and other sundry delights. [Hmm, have to see weather they'll let me tag along as an advisor!]

[Able]

Whether, not weather - I Hate autocomplete! Jeez, I'm not a Guardian journalist after all. (Oh OK it may have been exacerbated by the small amount of Etoh I have consumed, but it improves my singing and dancing immeasurably - honest!)

[David Duff]

Able, I'm not averse to an invasion of Mauritius because some very good friends holiday there every year for at least a month and their descriptions match yours. However, and sorry to stick a practicality spanner in your wonderful scheme, but would we be able to row all the way to Mauritius bearing in mind, of course, that we have no navy?