Ladies, buy your man a fur-lined jock strap!

And in return, chaps, treat your 'gal' to a fur-lined bra!  I kid you not because the evidence is mounting that the sun is, like me, going for nap.  You may, if you are up to it, read the whole of Anthony Watts's post entitled Our current solar cycle 24 – still in a slump – solar max reached? including the long and, in places, fearfully learn-ed (and often incomprehensible - to me, at any rate) commentary but I can save you the trouble and merely re-iterate my previous warnings to expect a deep chill over the next few years.  Mind you, let me add a quick caveat in the sensible words of the exceedingly intelligent, Willis Eschenbach, a distinguished writer on climate affairs:

No, please, no, no, no. I don’t want anyone sounding the dang alarm regarding ice any more than I want them sounding the heat alarm. I don’t appreciate people SHOUTING ABOUT THE COMING LITTLE ICE AGE any more than I care for people SHOUTING ABOUT THE COMING THERMAGEDDON. Future climates are unknown, get used to it. It might cool down … but then it might not. It might heat up … but then it might not.

Take a deep breath, things are not happening fast. Let’s learn some more about the climate and give up on predictions. If the Little Ice Age cometh, we’ll deal with it. If you want to be forewarned and prepared and corner the market on fur-lined jockstraps in anticipation of future earnings, that’s up to you. Me, I take another tack. Just like with the never-ending threats of global warning, I don’t pay the threat of global cooling any mind until I see actual evidence of a shift, either up or down.

Still waiting …

Climate, as opposed to weather, tends to change (relatively) slowly and steadily, it's never an exact line but gradually a trend appears.  When it does, that is the time to adapt.  In other words we must behave in exactly the opposite way to that indulged in by the 'Warmers' when they mistook a (very) slight rise in temperatures over the second half of the 20th century and rushed around in circles like Cpl. Jones shouting, "Don't panic, don't panic" whilst doing exactly that!

I confess to a complete ignorance on the intricacies of solar science.  My shame is somewhat mitigated by the fact that the actual scientists involved - just like scientists in every field of research - are themselves struggling to come to terms with their discoveries, not least because no sooner do they suggest a theory than someone else discovers something new and, hey-ho, it's back to the drawing-board.  However, I am able to offer you the findings of two truly rigorous, scientific experiments which defy falsification no matter what that old clever-clogs Karl Popper might say!

The first experiment is what I call the LJF measurement.  This is taken at the beginning of November and is a strict measurement of the actual day in which I feel the necessity of wearing my Long Johns!  (Look, stop that sniggering, if you're not going to take this seriously you will all get extra homework!)  In the last two years my LJ Factor began in December, the first time in years that I was forced into them before Christmas - and remember, I am always faced with a barrage of jokes, smirks and general rudery from the 'Memsahib, so I'm not that keen to wear them!  This year, the LJF began - in November!

My second strictly scientific test of changing climate comes from whittling, or non-whittling, to be precise, this being a scientific post and all that.  (Look, I won't warn you again ...!)  Approximately four years ago a friend indulged my idle remark to the effect that I have often wished to take up whittling but lacked suitable knives and wood.  Lo and behold, that Christmas he gave me several pieces of wood, all named, a superb and proper whittling knife, and a billy-basic book explaining the technique to the ignorant and the inept in which I qualified for both with distinction!  Of course, whittling being a messy business the 'Memsahib' insisted that it could only be done outside on the patio and I was to sweep up regularly.  Anyway, that summer I began and you would be amazed at what I produced, I mean, wonderful wasn't the word, darling!  But since then - nothing!  I even mislaid the whittling kit for a time because the last three summers have been so cold, wet and miserable that the last thing I wanted to do was sit outside.

So that's it - quod erat demonstrandum - as the swots always say.  We are definitely into a cool spell.  In the unlikely event of any 'Warmers' wandering in here to tell me that what I have experienced was just confined to the south west of England and has no connection ot the rest of the world, my reply is simple.  Who gives a flying fig for 'the rest of the world'?  All I'm interested in are two critical factors - here and me, that's 'me', as in 'ME, ME, ME'! and the rest of the world can look after itself!

In the meantime, take my advice and buy a scarf if you can't 'man up' enough to wear Long Johns!

 

Comments

[Able]

Hah! Real men wear:

http://www.silvermans.co.uk/ProductDetails/tabid/89/Department/Outdoor/Category/THERMALS+++BASELAYERS/Description/USA+UNION+SUIT+UNDERWEAR/ItemId/5595/CurrentPage/0/Default.aspx

Oh, and it's so nice to see some real science still being performed (after all it's got to be at least as accurate as all those cold weather readings from the soviets, who payed their staff by how cold it was - no chance of corrupt data there then?). I would suggest there could be a correlation with my own HAT data (being slightly deficient in supra-orbital hirsuteness), I find I've graduated to a thermal, and even a fur-lined 'mad-bomber' hat, at least 2% of a year earlier this year. I suggest we amalgamate our data sets and present it in a graph format (maybe we could give it some jaunty name like ' the cricket bat' - then we can get rich like Al Bore, millionaires even).

[Tom Knott]

I trust it is not rabbit fur, it might be catching.

[Whyaxye]

I have a pair of thermal long johns, but rarely wear them because I find them rather itchy. I'm wondering if I'm doing something wrong.

[David Duff]

"being slightly deficient in supra-orbital hirsuteness. Classic, Able, it's why I keep you on! And I must admit that catalogue has some frightfully smart gear in it. Almost makes me ashamed of baggy, saggy, wrinkled LJs which the 'Memsahib' insists are, in my case, skin-tight!

'Catching' what, Tom, the mind boggles?

Look, 'W', you've tried that scratchy LJ excuse with the magistrate before and he's not going to believe it again - just stay away from the big girls' school and behave yourself!

[Andrew Duffin]

In our house, the "gorbal worming" factor is determined by the number of Friday evenings it's warm enough to sit out on the bench in the front garden (which faces due West and is completely private) and drink a glass (never more than one of course ;-) of white wine.

This year the grand total was 1.

Lowest on record.

Well it's at least as accurate as the warmists' statistics, is it not?

[David Duff]

Indeed it is, Andrew, but one of your stats is, shall we say, slightly doubtful - *one* glass of wine? 'Shurely shome mishtake' there, I feel!