Yea, truly, I am now a God of infinite space!

I have gone boldly into the 21 st century and am now master of all I survey!  Er, well, perhaps 'master' is rather overstating the case because frankly I am somewhat thrashing about in the mysteries of Windows 8.  It's sort of like Windows XP but sort of not, if you follow me.  All those actions I used to take without thinking about them I now have to peer endlessly at the titchy print on the screen and search about for any clues or anything vaguely familiar.  Never mind, undaunted I shall persevere and continue to 'Bore for Britain' in my usual style.

Incidentally, I have noted the names of all those deliquents who took advantage of my absence to insert various 'sarcy' comments down below.  Retribution will follow!  Although not immediately because I do have rather a busy day today - apparently I ambeing taken Xmas shopping - such fun!

Anyway, welcome to my all-new, all-singing, all-dancing Windows 8 blog!

Comments

[JK]

"All those actions I used to take without thinking about..."

http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2012/09/alas-and-alack-all-is-undone-.html

[David Duff]

I should warn you, JK, and all the other regular troublemakers here at D&N that after an hour of fruitless attempts to find my old 'Contacts' list my sense of humour is approaching the minus scale! As every author of every cock-up in history inevitably demands to know, who thought of this stupid idea in the first fucking place!!! Just wait until I get hold of 'SoD', I'm sure it was him who talked me into it . . . oh, come back 'XP', already you are sorely missed.

And don't anyone mention Apple!

[A K Haart]

"I now have to peer endlessly at the titchy print on the screen"

Oh dear. Are there things we oldies should know about the Windows 8 caper?

[JK]

Just open one of my "funnies" directed toward your email David. Click 'reply all' then add who's on that list.

It'd be nice were you to admit -rather than one of your 'clever' retorts - "Well, looks like I screwed up again, Truly David."

[Andra]

Sings "Rule Britania" or, if you prefer "I'm Walking Backwards for Christmas."
What a clever boy, pat on head.

[Whyaxye]

"I have gone boldly into the 21 st century"

Weren't you picked up and carried and then safely deposited there by Son of Duff? That's what usually happens.

[Furor Teutonicus]

Windows 8.... so nothing like my windows 98 then?

[David Duff]

AK, yes, you have to find the ridiculously obscure place where-in you will find the magic button that will increase the font size settings. It only took me about an hour plus a phone call to Brett, 14 years of age - or so he looks, who strove to hide his disdain for silly old duffers and told me to click on this, click on that . . . Needless to say, I have already forgotten how I did it!

JK, you obviously haven't analysed the point of this blog which, despite the fine words at the very top, could be written thus - 'It's all some other bastard's fault not mine!' Still, good idea finding one of my old 'Funnies' e-mails but even so, somewhere inside this box of tricks there must be a place I can store them.

Andra, might I suggest that you concentrate on honing your British accent so that you can take up the new Aussie sport of intruding into the private life of our royals!

'W', precisely so, but having dropped me in it he then goes on the missing list - typical!

FT - Windows 98! My dear old chap, have a care, your loved ones will be taking you and your computer up to the Antiques Roadshow for a valuation!

[Andra]

Many Orstralians, me included, used to be able to speak BBC newsreader's English when called upon, but we have given it up as the rest of the population thought we were a bunch of up ourself nongs.
Now we all speak Strine, in solidarity with our prime minister, and the nation is a better place for it.
Emma Chizzit and all that!

[David Duff]

"nongs", "Emma Chizzit" - truly the only thing that divides us is our common language!