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Saturday, 16 February 2013


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You know how to do a color wash? Throw bleach in, turn them white, then throw them in with the white clothes and do a white wash.

Dom, have you run this novel idea of yours past the other half? I have a fair idea what the response would be were I to try it on 'er upstairs'!

By the way, I think it was you who recommended a new series called 'The Americans' about deep-cover Russian spies living in the USA. Anyway, it was mentioned in my newspaper today and is due to appear fairly shortly on ITV which is the commercial equivalent of the BBC. I am poised with my mate Rupe's do-flicker-thingie to record the whole thing lest I miss an episode. Incidentally I notice that the lead actor is actually Welsh. Perhaps they chose him because the Welsh language is as incomprehensible as Russian!

Just another suggestion Duffers - you'll be doing toilet cleaning duties I take it? And what with all that 'cat-sick' this should do the two at the same time so you've a handy time-saver. All the modern "housewives surrogates" have 'em.

Step #1. Pour abit of regular household soap into the toilet bowl.
(Step #1A Ensure all the doors to the house are open and clear any obstructions to traffic.)

Step #2. Place kitty in your loving arms, carry to the bathroom, then - with one hand on the lid, drop the cat into the toilet bowl, close the lid (you may need to sit on the lid) then after a few minutes, flush the toilet.

Step #3. Holding yourself close to the wall nearest the rear of the toilet (ensuring all doors are open - and you might want to wear a work-glove) raise the toilet lid.

The toilet bowl and the cat will be sparkling clean. Just ask if you need any other household chores hints David. JK's always in a mind to help!

Oh. You not need watch any hours-long program on ITV - and you can read this while the lambchops are coming to temperature:

JK, thank you for your domestic handy hints, you will shortly be hearing from Her Maj's RSPCA (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals). Incidentally, it is indicative of the English character that whilst the RSPCA enjoys royal patronage, the NSPCC (National Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children) does not. Priorities, you see!

As to Ms. Anna Chapman, alas, she has joined the hugely un-exclusive club of attractive ladies who never reply to my letters. I wrote to her following her exposure and offered my, er, services but I suppose she felt that an ex-Corporal from the Intelligence Corps was beneath her. Mind you, I told her that "my last three" (numbers of my army No.) were 007 but still no joy!

Jeez, all I can say is, thank god you don't whinge. You'd be a total pain in the arse if you ever took it up.
Stay as sweet as you are, Duff.

Crikey, Andra, for a moment I thought you were going to follow JK's lead and give me some household tips involving koalas!

Just a little nagging at me thing David.

Just how is it Google decides the sorts of Related Articles to put up with a post about cleaning cat crap and assorted housekeeping chores?

I'm sorry, JK, but you don't have clearance for that sort of sensitive information!

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