In which this blog ventures below the waistline!

I'm thinking of starting a series of posts on utterly useless research projects undertaken by universities but I fear it could take over this entire blog.  It never ceases to amaze me the way university departments come up with truly arcane subjects to investigate, nor the skill they must possess to relieve budgeting agencies of their, or usually my, dosh!

Yesterday, I read somewhere about a team of researchers who had established that back in the days before one had a tailor, in other words before clothes were invented (dread thought!), women used to judge men as potential mates by the size of their willies.  This, according to the 'brain-boxes' concerned, led to Darwinian selection pressure for men to, er, hang lower, if you catch my meaning.  Apparently, these under-employed  busy 'brain-boxes' came up with a mathematical equation to do with the ratio between length and diameter which measured how attrected the ladies would be - and, no, I don't know if they conducted any practical experiments!

Happily these days one may rely on one's tailor to hide the truth and as I assured the 'Memsahib' one night back in the mists of time, "He might not be very big but he's a very good little worker!"  Also, a great friend of mine who is still today a master 'swordsman' of enormous reputation and, er, proportion whilst sympathising with my, er, modest appendage, told me, "Don't worry, Duffy, it isn't the size that matters, it's the knowledgeable arse behind it!"  Later in life I realised that since humans have discovered clothes and all is hidden, the ladies are not attracted by the size of your todger but the size of your Porsche!  See, that's Darwinian selection theory at work, innit?!

 

ADDITIONAL:  As this blog has now left all semblance of taste and polite discourse behind it, allow me to give you, via the good offices of Drudge, the headline of the year:

Witnesses: Man drove 90 mph with genitals hanging out the window

And, according to the report from News Channel 11, I think this incident could be described as the perfect example of someone risking getting their own back:
 

"At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]... he was
masturbating... and that's when it got really, really bad.

He was probably reduced to this technique because his car was not a Porsche!

 

Related articles

Sorry, Boys: Size DOES Matter, As Study Reveals Well-Endowed Men Get the Girls

Comments

[JK]

"Sorta" on-topic - an' onlys cause I dint notice you commenting David:

http://www.annaraccoon.com/politics/competition-that-old-canard-stimulating-the-economy/

[JK]

And since we're on Science below the waistline:

http://www.doublexscience.org/the-average-human-vagina/

[Whyaxye]

"At over 90 miles per hour, he had his penis out [the window]... he was masturbating..."

He might have been perfectly safe doing this, but only if he was exceptionally favoured in Darwinian terms.

Either way, the man has more testosterone than is really necessary.

[David Duff]

Priceless, JK, don't know how I missed that one. By the by, I trust you and yours avoided the worst effects of that storm.

the man has more testosterone than is really necessary - and nowhere near enough brains for anything!

[David Duff]

JK, just found your second comment in my Spam Box - bloody TypePad! - but all I can say is - too much information!

[JK]

Bunch of houses left Arkansas headed in the general direction of Mississippi. But those houses were located (originally) some few miles east of me. Some farmers to the west reported their chickens were "plucked featherless by the winds and one jackass was missing" (I don't know whether the press meant to report a local politician used the storm as a convenient excuse to abscond or if another owner of livestock was gonna be unable to get in the Spring planting).

As for "me'n mine" we live up high on the plateau and largely missed the curious ways the winds funnel through the nooks and crannys blowing through the more, er, irregular parts of the Ozarks.

But thank you for asking David.

[David Duff]

Glad to hear it, JK.