For the purposes of this particular post I am adopting my 'Senior-Officer-Addressing-the Troops' voice, so you will all sit to attention and take notes where necessary! There are local elections approaching this week which are, of course, of no interest to anyone outside the political circus. Men and women of sound mind would normally shrug and continue on their way to the pub where they will quickly become of un-sound mind! However, on this occasion, your orders have been changed. On Thursday you will move in an orderly body towards your nearest polling station and once in position you will proceed to mark a large 'X' next to the name of the UKIP candidate. He, of course, will be a bit of a mouth-foaming loony but he has one great advantage - he is not a faux-Tory - (there are virtually no real Tories to be found anywhere these days.) If you lack a UKIP candidate, feel free to use your iniative and vote for any non-faux-Tory candidate provided only that they are neither Labour nor Lib-Dem. The object of the exercise is simple, it is absolutely necessary to send a huge message to 'Dim Dave', so huge that even he will notice it, to the effect that he has proved to be in most respects utterly useless. This will be your last chance before the next general election so make the most of it! Right, carry on!
Actually our local UKIP candidate is the only one who isn't a "a mouth-foaming loony" (and incidentally the only one who after meeting I didn't have the urge for a full body/mind disinfection). So, standing to attention and saluting in my usual immaculate manner, 'Yes, Sir' (I'll just put myself on Jankers then shall I, for 'looking like a shower of..., again'?)
Oh, as an aside, that wasn't really your "Senior-Officer-Addressing-the Troops voice" was it? It sounded more like a constipated six-former reading a script their mum wrote.... Oh! Yes!... As you were.
(and from my perspective it's not a 'protest vote', or to 'send a message', it's voting on policies that actually reflect my opinions - Europe, Immigration, Smoking ban, etc.)
Posted by: Able | Tuesday, 30 April 2013 at 14:03
So David SIR!!!, I expect you're up to answering er, as it happens your question.
http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2009/05/so-is-he-a-hamlet-or-a-coriolanus.html
Posted by: JK | Tuesday, 30 April 2013 at 19:38
Right you are Gov.
Posted by: Arthur | Wednesday, 01 May 2013 at 09:12
Well done, young Arthur, and here's a shilling for your troubles!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 01 May 2013 at 09:35
And just when were you ever a senior officer?
Did you read a book or take lessons, mayhaps see a programme on the telly. Senior officer my arse!
Posted by: Andra | Friday, 03 May 2013 at 05:01
Dammit, Ma'am, I once played Col. Vershinin in Three Sisters!
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 03 May 2013 at 09:05
I've to take up for my (eldrer barely) Corporal Duff Andra.
He's pissed off both the CIA and the Poobahs Iran - CIA you understand took it upon and did stuff and then Corporal Duff "firing within fails to hit whether target - amongnst it" fails to hit even that.
I'm given to understand some of those "nice young guys of Libya" did the Duff on McCain - And here we are, A Duff No Fly Zone and where we go from here ...
Posted by: JK | Friday, 03 May 2013 at 09:17