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Monday, 01 April 2013


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The otherwise unemployable chavs could at least be put to work picking plastic bags out of the hedgerows.

Hmm, one could comment that the 'going rate' for car-washing is well below (that idiotic idea) the minimum wage and as such the only people able to live on such are those willing to live twenty-seven to a room, hot-bed with their three closest friends from back home, eat communal food from the big communal cook-pot conveniently installed next to the low level automatic face washing device (the bath-tub and toilet to you and I), and are sending home every penny (current exchange rate 1p = 17,000,000 zlartis, so a weeks work is enough to buy a three cows, 17 goats, an AK-47 and a only slightly used wife). And then only do it temporarily, to gather a lump sum, until they find something better, get onto benefits (which quite a few are already on whilst working to supplement their incomes).

Don't get me wrong, I'm fully aware there is a large, and growing, feckless, lazy underclass, but isn't it amazing that pre mass immigration of sundry eastern Europeans the toilets were cleaned, vegetables picked and cars washed?

As to why the youth don't bother? Well would you get out of bed for £3.60 a day when those nice guys the DWP give you £70 a week by taking it (at the point of a gun) from ... well 'thee and me'.? The thing is, locally at least, it appears that most of the low-paying, undesirable jobs are filled by those feckless British teenagers?!? Well, all except for, coincidentally, the car-washing establishments. Which begs the question, why?

It couldn't be that those running these 'operations' are on the whole usually that pedantically honest, socially conscious and philanthropically minded group - ex-second-hand car dealers? (well, either that or ..... dodgy eastern europeans. As an aside, according to a friend in the local constabulary, one of the three local drive-thru car-washes has been raided 17 times for benefit fraud, passport fraud, drug-dealing, suspected arms sales and .... prostitution (?!?) - would sir like a few E, a Glock and a nubile teenage brunette with his wax-and-shine?).

So are all the attendent woes (over-stretched services, housing shortages, crime, ... and massively raised taxes t fund it all) really worth the chance to get your car washed for a fiver? The hidden costs far outweigh any gain I think.

Personally I'd like less tax, less red-tape and less legislation to allow a few more new jobs - but then I'm just a cynical old .... well, just old Ok?

And completely off at a tangent. Read this 'advice to American travelers to the UK', I found it succinct, insightful, accurate and... possibly slightly amusing:

Really?! You mean that rather delicious girl from Lithuania would give me a proper, er, 'wax 'n' shine' if I asked nicely? Whodathunkit?

Anyway, if they refused benefits to anyone under the age of 26, and anyone who has not worked two years out of the last three, I suspect you might find a few more Brits washing cars!

Your advice to Americans visiting this 'Septic Isle' has instantly been forwarded on my private 'Funnies List' - thanks, I laughed out loud!

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