Well done, you chaps, er, and you chapettes, of course! I issued my orders a few days ago and I'm proud to say that all of you did as you were bloody well told to do which was get fell in in single rank, tallest on the right, shortest on the left, and march in an orderly body to the nearest polling station - and vote UKIP.
As I write, only some of the results are in but they have already filled my cup to overflowing. The Tories actually lost the huntin', shootin' and fishin' county of Gloucester - unbelievable! I am ashamed to say that my own counties (I live on the border), Somerset and Dorset, failed to turf the Tories out and I regret to say, therefore, that I have issued instructions to Luigi and his pals to go round and break a few legs to re-enforce my instructions for the next big election which is for the European loony bin parliament next year. Now, perhaps, the Tory backbenchers will get the message. Many of them are first time MPs and no doubt thay have got very used to the comforts and privileges of Westminster and will be loath to to lose them at the next election. They are the only ones who can trap Cameron into a corner and force him to get the message from the country and not just from the metro-toffs with whom he normally spends his time.
But the best news of all comes last - and last is precisely where the il-Lib-non-Dems came in the Sheffield bye-election. They ended up in seventh place with a derisory 352 votes which was less than the BNP and two independents. That should wipe the smug smirk off the face of the ghastly 'Cleggeron'!
Well done, you chaps, er, and you chapettes, of course! I issued my orders a few days ago and I'm proud to say that all of you did as you were bloody well told to do which was get fell in in single rank, tallest on the right, shortest on the left, and march in an orderly body to the nearest polling station - and vote UKIP.
Uhm, I guess David you'll not be minding "us" CIA guys turning your electricity off area as we reckon Somerset duty and confrontation querouling Hamlet, Coriolanus or UKIP?
As best us'ns can do To Hell With Querolus Potus!
Posted by: JK | Friday, 03 May 2013 at 10:24
"They ended up in seventh place with a derisory 352 votes which was less than the BNP and two independents."
Such a delicious start to the day that one. Good old Cleggy - I hope they keep him on and don't spoil the fun by booting him out. Mind you, trying to select another Lib Dem leader could be a hoot too.
Posted by: A K Haart | Friday, 03 May 2013 at 11:24
JK, you've either stayed up too late or got up too early!
AK, and if memory serves, Clegg's constituency is in Sheffield - dare one dream?
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 03 May 2013 at 15:48
"trying to select another Lib Dem leader could be a hoot too": do you suppose they'll wait until the Huhnster is available?
Posted by: dearieme | Friday, 03 May 2013 at 20:26
Don't worry about this little affair.
Rush over the ditch to France and get in the line to buy the wine. Not as good as the Aussie stuff but you're sure to pick up a few quaffable bottles for your cellar.
Save me a nice chardy.
Posted by: Andra | Friday, 03 May 2013 at 21:40
David
A Chicago suggestion.
I understand you have Graveyards going back hundreds of years, perhaps to the time of the doomsday book.
That should provide enough votes to elect a good candidate.: -)
Thanks for the good news.
Posted by: Hank | Saturday, 04 May 2013 at 00:04
DM, that would be like the Lib-Dems chaining themselves to a block of concrete and hurling themselves off a cross-channel ferry. So not all bad, then!
Chardy?! For you, darling Andra? Certainly not, only the very finest vintage champagne.
Dammit, Hank, why didn't I think of that, I have an entire graveyard of bodies outside my front door!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 04 May 2013 at 09:47