National Prat Week

Of course, here in 'this septic isle' we are not content to enjoy merely one National Prat Week a year, oh dear me, no, every week is Prat Week!  Thus, today, we can chortle at the sight of Archbishop Welby of Canterbury taking an enormous prat-fall as he steps on a banana skin carelessly tossed before him by the boss of Wonga.com.  Brit readers will excuse me if, for a moment, in deference to my many foreign readers (this is, after all, an international blog!) I explain the ins and outs of Wonga.  First, it is necessary to know that the word 'wonga' is slang for 'dosh' which in turn is slang for 'readies' which in turn is slang for cash - and yes, indeed, the English language remains as rich and varied if not more so than in Will Shakespeare's days!  Now, in these straightened times the market in what are called 'payday loans', that is, borrow on Tuesday to get you through the week until payday on Friday has multiplied.  Of course, the sort of people who need this service desperately - and I do stress the desperation factor - are people to whom you would be reluctant to lend a shilling, in other words, their credit rating is frequently in the minus scale.  Thus, the interest on these short-term loans is stratospheric - well it has to be because the lender knows that a high proportion of his customers will default on their loans.  Anyway, the wittily named Wonga.com is a leading lender in this market place and has thus brought down on its head the wrath of the, er, Great and the Good, or, plonkers, as I like to think of them!  Archbishop Welby not satisfied as being the leader of the Anglican church has now thrust himself forward as Plonker-in-Chief by launching a furious attack on Wonga.com and what he thinks is their cruel and exploitative usury and had threatened to put it out of business by opening a string of Christian 'credit unions' - so good luck with that one, Bish, old boy, and if you could see your way clear to lending me a 'monkey' (slang for £500), I'd be awfully grateful!  Anyway, some dandruff-ridden, down-at-heel hack from the Financial Times did a bit of digging and found out that the Church of England (sole prop. Archbishop Welby) had some of its investments in, er, Wonga.com!  Oh joy unconfined, I nearly fell off my chair laughing!

Then we have Mr. Matthew Hancok MP who is an economic buffoon with an MPhil (whatever that is!) in Economics from Cambridge as well as a degree in PPE from Oxford.  Mr. Hancock, who has never run so much as a whelk stall in his short life, has opined that it is the duty, yes, indeed, the duty, no less, of British businessmen to employ British people applying for jobs rather than foreigners - who are here in their zillions, perfectly legally, because of the laws agreed to by Mr. Hancock's own political party!  Of course, in the rarified stratosphere of 'Oxbridge' economics departments there is probably no-one who has ever had to meet a pay day or a VAT return.  Mr. Hancock is a prat but, alas, not half as funny as 'Bish' Welby.

There was something else funny in the news to day but Hancock's stupidity has put me in a bad temper and so I can't remember what it was - and anyway, we have visitors arriving so I am 'under orders' from you-know-who!

 

Comments

[dearieme]

"the interest on these short-term loans is stratospheric - well it has to be because the lender knows that a high proportion of his customers will default on their loans." Bah! The loans are very short term. The cost of setting up a loan is much the same irrespective of the term. So even if the underlying interest rate were as modest (!) as that on credit card debt, by the time you add on the recovery of the cost, the annualised interest rate looks stratospheric. So it's not really to do with default rates. I don't know the default rates on these loans but I wouldn't be surprised if they were pretty small, since the debtors probably want to keep open the option of borrowing again in future.

By the way, your spelling is going to hell. Rush, rush, rush Mr Duff, eh?

[David Duff]

I should keep out of the money-lending business, if I were you, DM, because if you think the default rates are "pretty small" amongst the sort of people who use payday loans I think you might be in for a nasty and expensive shock. Also, don't underestimate the cost of recovery when physical items such as cars/furniture/houses or whatever are offered by way of security. Instantly m'learned friends are involved and we know what they charge and it makes loan sharks look generous.

But you're right, my spelling is bad not because I was in a rush but probably because I failed to enjoy that 'rarefied stratosphere of Oxbridge'! Sod it, I'm going to have to go back to typing this nonsense on 'Word' before pasting it here. Mea culpa!

[dearieme]

I hadn't realised that they used m'learned friends, I'd vaguely assumed they used large friends who failed to live up to the stereotype of "gentle giant".

[Jimmy Glesga]

David. I did get a tenner Provi Check once just for the novilty and paid back ten quid two and a tanner. Other than that people should live within their means. Listen tae the wireless and Jeremy Vine! forget the flat screen and all the drivel.

[Backofanenvelope]

Wouldn't it be nice if the Arch Druid stuck to his day job? He could set up a fund to send Christan missionaries into Bradford and other Muslim hellholes.

[David Duff]

DM, these loans are not like Jimmy's ten quid, sometimes they are fairly hefty and with some of these companies listing on the stock market the use of muscle to enforce is not good PR!

As one would expect of an ex-RAF type, spot on target, BOE!

[Andra]

I'd invest in Wonga. How much are the shares?

[Andra]

There is a Wonga Beach about an hour's drive north of Cairns.
I've never been there but I am told it is grouse.

[David Duff]

"it is grouse"???

[CJ Nerd]

Mr Hancock is my MP, and my good lady had the honour of being personally canvassed by him at an election a few years ago.

Her impression was that he's just out of short trousers, and has never run a business of any consequence in his life.

[David Duff]

If I may say so, Mrs. Nerd is obviously a lady of great taste and discernment which, apart from allowing her to judge Mr. Hancock with exactitude, also allowed her the wisdom to marry you, Mr. Nerd. Oh, and welcome to D&N by the way.

[Andra]

Grouse (adj.) : great, terrific, very good
Australian dictionary

[David Duff]

You mean if I called you 'a grouse dame' you'd be pleased?!