Your Monday Funny: 14.7.13

Two for the price of one, you lucky people!

 

Teacher asks the kids in class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?

"Little Johnny: "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris , a jet to travel through Europe , an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day".

The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. 

"And you, Susie?"

"I wanna be Johnny's bitch."

 

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Walking through San Francisco's Chinatown, a tourist from the Midwest was enjoying the artistry of all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners.   When he turned a corner and saw a building with the sign 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry.'

'Moishe Plotnik?' he wondered. "How does that belong in Chinatown?"

He walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard looking drycleaner, although he could see that the proprietors were clearly aware of the uniqueness of the store name as there were baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs emblazoned with the logo "Moishe Plotnik's Chinese Laundry."

The tourist selected a coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his purchase.

The tourist asked, "Can you explain how this place got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's Laundry?'

The old man answered, "Ah...evleebody ask me that. It name of owner."

Looking around, the tourist asked, "Is he here?"

"It me," replies the old man.

"Really? You're Chinese. How did you ever get a name like Moishe Plotnik?"

"Is simple," said the old man, "Many, many year ago I come to this country.  I standing in line at 'Documentation Center of Immigration.'  Man in front of me was Jewish man from Poland."

Lady at counter look at him and say, "What your name?"

He say, "Moishe Plotnik."

Then she look at me and say, "What your name?"

I say,"Sam Ting."

Oh well, I suppose you need to have been there!

 

 

 

Comments

[Dom]

Did you hear about Som Ting Wong and his comrades (I got it from Mick Hartley's site):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=hSRnNC5s3Jw

[Dom]

I never said "OMG", but I have to say it now: OMG! The names came from the NTSB:

http://www.ntsb.gov/news/2013/130712.html

[Andra]

And you can't blame me for the Sam Ting one!

[Jimmy Glesga]

David. That 2nd is a pish joke. Reminds me of the Chinese telephone directory. There is so many Wings and Wongs you might wing a wong number.

[David Duff]

"A pish joke"! What else do you expect round here?