Yes, indeed, dear reader, distraught is the word and I write that as Founder, President for Life and, so far, sole member of the (R)SPOT. 'Waddya mean, ya never hoid of it'?! Let me tell you that the (R)SPOT is a very distinguished organisation even if, or perhaps, especially as, I am the sole member. Allow me to roll out the full title - the (Royal) Society for the Preservation Of Ties. Of course, the 'royal' bit has to be in brackets until such time as Her Maj graces us with her favour but I reckon the first time she cops old Phil wandering about the palace without a necktie, he'll get a right royal bollocking and I'll get a knighthood!
However, today (R)SPOT is distraught because news has come through that Tie Rack is to close its remaining shops. This is a severe blow to us chaps who continue to uphold the tradition of gentlemen wearing a necktie - and it's no good The Sun or one of the other Fleet Street purveyers of filth and gossip sneaking round here to take a sneaky snap of me going about tie-less because I admit it! Yes, most of the time I do not wear a tie but that's only because none of my friends - cheapskates that they are - invite me to places where a tie would be required. Which is a real nuisance because I do enjoy wearing one. Not just that but also it puts me in touch with my feminine side as I ponce about for at least an hour trying to decide which tie is best and as I only have about 20 ties you can see how 'picky' I am.
Personally, I blame that leader of common - and I do mean 'common' - culture, Mr. Simon Cowell. No lady of taste and discernment would wish
to spend an evening looking at his hairy chest. I assume they spend most of their time gazing at his bulge, you know, the pocket where he keeps his enormously fat wallet! What? Jealous . . . moi? Anyway, next time you see a charity tin in aid of (R)SPOT drop a few quid in because I might be able to pick up a bargain or three at the Tie Rack closing down sale.
I have no idea who Simon Thing is but the blokes don't wear ties in Cairns. The only person you'll ever see with a tie on is a solicitor on his way to court to do some legal aid work.
Most men get around nowadays in shorts or sarongs.
You'd fit right in here, Duffster. A sarong AND a tie. You'd make the front page of the paper right away.
Posted by: Andra | Wednesday, 20 November 2013 at 05:12
"A sarong AND a tie" -now that's what I call a fashion statement!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 20 November 2013 at 08:46
I must be getting old! When I was much younger I lived in Singapore. Sarang Kebaya was worn by shapely Malay women - now they are, it seems, worn by hairy Aussies!!! I know which I prefer - but then, I am a lot older.
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Wednesday, 20 November 2013 at 11:03
Was that Changi, BOE? If so, when? 'I was there', Singapore not Changi, '64 to '67.
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 20 November 2013 at 16:39
61-63 & 67-70; all at Changi. No 205 Sqn flying Shacks.
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Wednesday, 20 November 2013 at 18:48
Ah yes, BOE, I thought I'd seen you down the Geylang Road slipping into the 'Singapore Nights Bar' - otherwise known as 'Emissions for Seamen'! Those were the days . . .
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 21 November 2013 at 09:10