Someone give this semi-educated woman a smack!

Where do they find them?  Is there a factory in Slough or 'Uddersfield or somewhere where they churn out these semi-educated prats on a production line?  They are all 'wimmin', even the male ones, and they all drift effortlessly, like iron filings to a magnet, towards local government where they spend a lifetime doing (usually badly) one useless job after another until, like Dr. Margaret Atkinson (who likes to be known as 'Maggie', see, just to prove she's like us, really -  which she isn't, thank God!) they reach a national job where they can wait patiently for a Knight- or Dame-hood.

        

In an irony which was oblivious to the bureaucracy who chose her, this particular dipstick woman has never produced or raised her own children but was appointed as the Orwellian-sounding National Children's Commissioner.  And now she has given as her opinion that parents smacking children should be made unlawful.  (That's unlawful as in being banged-up by the 'Plod', your kids taken into 'care', being dragged into a full-blown trial in front of a judge and ending up with a criminal record and probably never seeing your children again.)  Thus, if she gets her way - and she almost certainly will eventually - the next time you see your 'likkle kiddie-winkie' playing with an electric socket, instead of giving it a quick hard slap across the legs and telling it never, ever, to do that again, you will reason with it and after explaining the physics of electricity, if you are really, really, stern, you might - dread punishment! - make it stand on the 'naughty step' for five minutes.  That'll teach the little brat - er, won't it?!

 

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Comments

[jimmy glesga]

She looks like Frau Merkel with a makeover. Sorry Frau Merkel.

[David from Oz]

"She looks like Frau Merkel"

Which reminds me of the joke about Frau Merkel deciding to take a shopping trip to Paris. Arriving at the French border she is stopped by a Customs Officer who recognises her but decides to put her through the hoops anyway.
CO, "Name?"
FM, "Angela Merkel"

CO, "Nationality?"
FM, "German"

CO, "Occupation?"
FM, "No, just a shopping trip".

Having got that out of the way G'day Duff and greetings from the Land Down Under a.k.a the home of the Ashes. An ex-Brit friend of mine directed me to your blog and it has been/will be a good read.

Reference the lady[?]in the photo we have the same sort of Commissars down here as well although now we have a conservative government there are likely to be a lot less of them. The "Climate Commissioner" has gone as has his Department, we are no longer funding useless UN Climate scams and a Royal Commission into the criminal organisations known as Trade Unions is about to start in the New Year.

The sun is shining, God is in his heaven and the Ashes are home [and a nice Aussie Pinot Grigio is in the cooler in anticipation of tonight's sacrifice of a leg of lamb].

:-)

Cheers.

David

[David from Oz]

That should have read G'day David. My apologies. I dislike the use of just surnames heartily and forbade the practice in my command.

03:26 GMT. Australia just won the fourth test by 8 wickets. You blokes can do better than that.

[David from Oz]

I'll give this a third try. Don't know what happened to the last efforts.
"G'day Duff" should have read "G'day David". My apologies. I dislike the use of just surnames and forbade it in my command - but that was 23 years ago.

03:26 GMT. Australia has just won the Fourth Test by eight wickets. C'mon you can do better than that.

[David Duff]

Oh, no, it's going to be one of those days! I come awake this morning to the dire news that our entire cricket team has surrendered, well, those of them who haven't already run away, and then going to my blog for comfort I find a gloating Aussie! I think I might go back to bed!

Well, g'day to you, too, mate (er, how's my accent?) If you become a regular visitor here at D&N which, I should point out, usually indicates a sad and lonely life, you will become used to the vagaries of TypePad which veer between publishing every sodding Spam ever invented in Asia, or, binning the lot but including perfectly normal comments from normal commenters. (Mind you, 'normal' amongst my regular clientele here is a tricky concept to pin down!) My first job every morning is to rescue 'prisoners' from the Spam Bin.

Anyway, welcome to D&N, 'AussieD' (so called to differentiate you from the very distinguished proprietor of this high-class blog). Feel free to visit as often as you like but just don't mention the 'c'-word - no, no, not that one, I mean 'cricket'!

[David Duff]

I almost forgot, AussieD, do you think you could possible see your way clear to lending us your prime minister for a few years?

[AussieD]

G'day David,

Accent is fine.

You can borrow the PM as soon as he has remedied six years of Labor profligacy. Labor? You got it - they are so dumb they cannot even spell the name of their party properly.

And I promise not to mention that word again - unless of course your lot mess up Test 5.

I'll be a regular visitor. Love the Brit sense of humour.

[Lawrence Duff]

My friend's two boys came home from school the other day, singing this charming little ditty: -

"If your Mum gets angry,
and smacks you on the bum,
call oh, eight, hundred, double one, double one".

That's the number for social services to come and take your kids away.

And now the older child has sussed the fear in his parents, so whenever they start to discipline him, he raises two Churchillian v-signs to denote double-one double-one.

The state has reached into that family and destroyed the parental authority and replaced it with its own. The parents now live in fear of being sold out to the state by their own children.

Victory Gin anyone, looks like the second round's on me too?

SoD

[David Duff]

It beggars belief!