DUFF & NONSENSE!: In which my ego shrivels

In which my ego shrivels

We all have 'egos', as the Freudians insist on calling our sense of self and the will to live. Alas, for some it so very small and fragile that suicide is their only escape. Happily, my ego is well above average in size which is more than I can say about other, er, 'accoutrements' of mine! Even so, as I bimble along in this life of mine there are moments when I am humbled, so to speak. For example, and I suspect this is very common with many people, on those occasions where I find myself out of doors on a cloudless night it is impossible not to stare at the stars and, as I remind myself that the swots insist that all we can see is but a microbe in the unseen grand totality of the universe, I am faintly irritated to be reminded that I am merely a speck!

A similar, but, shall we say, more fundamental example of our individual titchiness in the great scheme of things was supplied by Dr. David Grimes, courtesy of a link supplied by my e-pal, DM. The good doctor (and I really do think he is a very good doctor!) informed us all that:

We have seen in a previous post that we are only 10% human, that micro-organisms on us and in us outnumber human cells by a factor of 10 to 1.

Dammit, I have already been told by 'Archbishop' Dawkins that my only reason for existence is to act as a carrier for tiny blobs of chemical jelly which tells me constantly what to do - and no, I am not referring to the 'Memsahib'! But the good Doctor goes further and attacks one more very slight but, er, fundamental, reason for my ego to swell. (Sorry, the 'fundament' word-play will become clear as I go on but I should warn those of a delicate nature to proceed no further!) There is something enormously satisfying when one excretes a truly colossal poo! I remember a mate of mine in the army who produced a whopper of Olympic proportions and insisted that the whole platoon view it which we did with cries of congratulations and what are you going to call it?!

So on those rare occasions when I do better than average in that department it does provide a tiny addition to my ego, and thus, I was crushed, I tell you, crushed, when the good Doctor informed me that my poos are not my poos!

Most of the almost hundred trillion micro-organisms that inhabit our bodies live in the intestine. Not only are they by far the most numerous, also the most diverse and the least understood, but they seem to be of the greatest importance. Remember that about 95% of our faeces is composed of dead bacteria, with very little food waste. [My emphasis.]

What?! You mean I'm just some sort of walking, talking, mobile 'khazi' for a zillion bugaboos? I mean, is that it? Is that what my existence amounts to? Too, too humiliating! Well, I want a word with the manager of this outfit . . .

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