Right, pay attention, here's my analysis of what's going on in the Middle East

Er . . . well . . . you see . . . it's all a bit complicated but . . . oh sod it, I haven't a clue!  And nor has anyone else as far as I can see from the contradictory articles by sundry so-called experts.  So, if you ask me what we should do about the Middle East I would suggest that the first thing is to undertake a long and detailed study of the situation before we do anything at all.  Such is the state of our collective ignorance that this study will take years but, hey, that's alright because given our economy and our non-existent armed forces it will be years before we can do anything very much except hold Obama's handbag whilst he takes ineffectual slaps at what today he thinks is his enemy but whose arse he was kissing only yesterday!

Even a brief scan of just some of the factors at work is enough to make your brain ache.  For example there is the Sunni/Shi'ite split, there is nuclear-armed and ambitious Iran, there is Russia trying to slither further south with the help of its Syrian puppet, there is some Egyptian general, and we know they don't always last very long, sitting on the Suez canal, there is Turkey under a budding Islamist dictator, there is all that dosh swilling around from various Gulf states, Libya is disintergrating and leading the way for a general break down of the North African littoral which, when it happens, will make today's immigrant problem in Europe look like a dribble, and in the middle of all this mess there is Israel, the only genuine democratic regime in the entire 'fester-pot' but who, we are told by 'the Great and the Good', is an evil pariah to be treated with contempt and subjected to severe western pressures.  Oh, I almost forgot, and then there is Gulf oil!

So, how're you doing?  Got it worked out now, have you?  Picked your side?  Decided what we are to do?  Found a few spare soldiers, have you, who aren't busy practicing for the next Trooping of  the Colour?  Borrowed a cross-channel ferry to ship them over to, er, well, somewhere?  Aha!  You think you might have a promise of support from Barack HUSSEIN Obama (well, he used to emphasise it back when he was arse-kissing Arabs and telling them his father had been a Muslim - before he became a Marxist, that is) - well, good luck with that because I wouldn't trust him as far as I could piss into a gale!  And then, just when you have worked out your grand strategy for action in the Middle East, some mega-rich Sheik of Araby tells you he'll cut off your oil supply if you do it, so. . .  er . . .  well . . . you see . . . it's all a bit complicated  . . . and when you think about it . . .  well . . .  you're right back where you started! 

 

Comments

[Lawrence Duff]

Let them fight each other to oblivion. Cos while they're doing that, they're not fighting us. And we need to conserve our energies for our own fight ahead.

SoD

[Philo Vaihinger]

European Christendom ought to unite informally in a cooperative project of resistance to Islam, including barring Muslim immigration.

You will eventually want to help arm Spain and if not Turkey then the European states bordering Turkey, Greece and Bulgaria, I suppose.

We in the colonies of the New World or elsewhere may help out, now and again, with some form of aid short of actual military participation in whatever adventures European Christendom finds necessary.

And I wish you all a happy Tenth or Eleventh Crusade - or whichever it is, depending on how one counts.

Cheerio.

[David Duff]

Alas, Philo, the words "military participation" and "European Christendom" no longer fit together. Our (dis)armed forces are at an all time low and we hardly have enough money to mount the guard at Buckingham Palace, the Germans (not unreasonably) do nothing in the military line for fear of being called rude names and the French only want to get back inside their old African colonies. So it's over to you, I'm afraid, but jolly good luck and all that sort of thing!

[Philo Vaihinger]

Perhaps the Norwegians?

Oh, well.