An elderly golfer comes in after his round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the bar and restaurant area of the club house. As he passes through the swing doors, he spots a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
COLD BEER: $ 3.50
HAMBURGER: $ 7.00
CHEESEBURGER: $ 8.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH : $ 8.50
HAND JOB: $ 35.00
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary money, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons to the exceptionally attractive female bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of other sun-wrinkled golfers.
She glides down behind the bar to the old golfer.
“Yes?” she inquires with a broad smile. “May I help you, Sir?”
The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers, “I was wondering young lady, are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?”
She looks into his eyes and with an even wider smile, purrs,
“Yes, Sir, I certainly am.”
The old golfer leans in even closer and whispers into her left ear,
“Well, then, be sure to wash your hands real good, because I want a chicken sandwich.”
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A Dilemma
After a long day on the golf course, I stopped in at 'Hooter's' to see
some friends and have some hot Wings and drinks.
After being there for a while, one of my friends asked me which waitress I
would like to be stuck in an elevator with.
I told them "The one who knows how to fix elevators."
I'm old, tired, and pee a lot.
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Sitting by a window of her convent, Sister Joan opened a letter from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 note her parents had sent.
Sister Joan smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp post below.
Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. Sister Joan," on a piece of paper, wrapped the $100 note in it, got the man's attention and tossed it out the window to him. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.
The next day, Sister Joan was told that a man was at the door, insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 notes.
"What's this?" she asked.
"That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied, "'Don't Despair' paid 80-to-1."
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A BONUS, courtesy of Andra, a very witty little film with a trickier plot than a le Carre novel so watch to the very end:
https://www.youtube.com/v/_CwHrJt8Oz8
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