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Saturday, 15 November 2014


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The lady you may be referring to is a friend of my stepdaughter. I forwarded your splenetic piece to her. So far, her only response has been to ask if I knew your home address!

If God gave us the means to make cars, the Devil gave us women drivers.

Oh God, BOE, play fair, give her MTG's address!

To late - she has Googled you. I didn't realise you lived in Doblin!

Or even Dublin!

Dublin? Or maybe Gaza very soon.

It's perfectly clear.

This bit is important too.

So the boss kicked her loose and said 'down by that flat bit will do'. Down she goes then bump and boing and wheeeee, up 1000 metres and down again, just in that alleyway between Tesco and the cinema. Glad parking in Bognor isn't like that. Still, at least we know this comet is not made of green cheese. Next time have the grappling irons at the ready.

But I know that you said 'right hand down a touch' but you didn't explain whether it was your 'right' or my 'right'; and thats why the bloody thing landed up where it did. Its not my fault, and you have to tell the entire Command Centre to stop laughing, shrieking and bloody hooting!

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