Of course, there is only one piece of news of any importance at the moment and that is the fact that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, aka, Will 'n' Kate, are attempting the impossible by trying to raise the social standards of 'Noo Yawk'! Yes, I know, a Herculean task but, dammit, they're British so I know they will try their best.
However, I have only just found out that my Arkie e-pal, 'JK', has via the, er, 'good offices' of Barney Magroo - who somehow managed to get the contract for supplying the booze fine wines to the royal reception - aquired a much sought after invitation to this event. The people of Arkansas will be watching JK's behaviour in the presence of the royal couple with some anxiety because the honour of 'Arkieland' rests on his ability to curtsy properly! This might sound easy but after several shots of Magroo's Finest Grand Cru - brought to full maturity in the cellar for at least two hours! - even standing upright is tricky to master, let alone putting one leg behind the other and then bending the other knee.
Then, of course, there is the ritual of greeting the royal couple. I must remind 'JK' that throwing an arm around both of these young people and hollerin' at Will, "Yeeeeeeeeeeee-haw, ain't she got the finest pair of tits north of Little Rock!" is unlikely to get you an invitation for Christmas at Buck House!
I jest, of course, because everything I read of graceful Southern manners makes the behaviour of the average Brit look downright gruntish. So, 'Noo Yawk' - and 'Arkieland' - enjoy!
We are always glad to host members of the Royal Family but did they have to pick the start of winter for this inspection of the colonies?
Some Arkie hospitality courtesy of JK and his staff? "Oh Dear".
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 08 December 2014 at 13:10
God, I hope poor old Wills isn't slipped a glass of Magroo's special - he'll lose even more of his hair!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 08 December 2014 at 19:08
Er, my invite say's simply I'm to "backup the Miss Kate" which lingo I'm understanding to mean as I see fit, the Prince I understand to be Barney's charge.
Whitewall'll appreciate the especiallness I'm certain of a wine being labelled "bonded"
http://www.tontitownwinery.com/
Posted by: JK | Monday, 08 December 2014 at 19:15
Oh. Hadn't bothered to get past the first paragraph of my invite which I'm reckoning why is I got chose - "backup Miss Kate" wasn't what I'd originally and generally took to mean ... except maybe as regards the "English Lessons" - somthing to do as I'm the only Arkie flying as owner one of these;
http://cessna.txtav.com/en/citation/sovereign
As to "lessons" I'm a'reckoning I'm s'posed to teach Kate, The Arkansas Razorback ain't a proper noun
it's a verb.
Posted by: JK | Monday, 08 December 2014 at 19:51
Never mind all that, JK, have you mastered the curtsy whilst wearing those cowboy boots with 4" heels?
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 08 December 2014 at 21:09
"Cowboy boots"?
Those ain't neither bearing laces or, as is my usual (what we Navy types refer to as, er, Our-style Jump [Para] boots those being zippered?
Or David - with your "understanding [if I may] of 'cowboy boots are pointy-toed" - then in that case "No, I have not."
Now if the boots you mean are the zippered sort (depending on how much altitude is available at the "Oh, I've always hated this part" part) I am Sir quite capable of pulling off a passable curtsy and even a "Virginia Reel!"
Not always though I must admit, too very soon after breakfast, can I manage either without some level of losing my cookies.
Posted by: JK | Monday, 08 December 2014 at 22:22
JK, well I'll be! Springdale was the first town in Arkansas I visited. It's been a while. Bonded and bonafide.
Cowboy boots with 4"heels? Good lord! Only worn by "fancy fellows" David. They sorta "ride sidesaddle".
Posted by: Whitewall | Tuesday, 09 December 2014 at 01:38
Sorry for my mistake, JK, concerning the 4" heels but I am assured that Alan Ladd wore them all the time plus platform soles to get his head above his leading lady's bosom! And I am with you all the way on the difficulties of any sort of bending, bowing or scraping before midday.
OK, Whitewall, gradually I am learning.
Posted by: David Duff | Tuesday, 09 December 2014 at 08:45