And, Lo, I say unto you - watch it or else! I was tickled by this story from The Mail which reports on a gang of thieves who had just robbed a church and were trying to make a high speed get away chased by the cops. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning whistled down from the heavens, hit their car and - KA-BOOM! - their car blew up and suddenly all the robbers were, in Pythonese, 'ex-robbers'. Too, too, delicious!
God, Arkansas is boring! Well, I know its history is a tad, er, lively but these days it really is the boring-snoring State of the Union! Now, before my e-pal, JK, launches a drone strike - well, it would have to be a 'drone' because that's part of being 'Arkie' - let me say that I like boring, it is much to be preferred to exciting which I do not care for. However, it's jolly unfair of Arkansas not to go into panic mode at a scary story issued by "the Trust for America's Health and the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation" which states very clearly that, in the paraphrased words of the immortal Pte. Frazer, Arkies are all doomed! It's all to do with climate change and the disgraceful fact that the likes of JK and his fellow Arkies have wilfully ignored all the warning signs. Mind you, Sierra Rayne at The American Thinker does point out:
Here is what Arkansas should put on their climate change and disease radar: since records began in 1895, there has been no significant trend [my emphasis] in the state's average temperature, maximum temperature, minimum temperature, precipitation, cooling degree days, heating degree days, Palmer Drought Severity Index (PDSI), Palmer Hydrological Drought Index (PHDI), Palmer Modified Drought Index (PMDI), or the ominously named "Palmer Z-Index." This constitutes all climate indicators in the NOAA National Climatic Center Database.
See what I mean about being boring?!
And also they're full of chicken shit in Arkansas: No, no, that's not my opinion, it's all in the IJReview which has published a map purporting to show the very best of each State of the Union, and the very worst:
As you can see, the feature for which Arkansas stands out above the rest is that it possesses the "Most poultry waste". Alas, the feature chosen as the best of Arkansas is that it has the "First US National River". I'm not quite sure what is meant by a "National River" but I have a sneaking suspicion that it is very, very, boring! And yes, 'Whitewall', I intended to check on North Carolina but in my appalling British ignorance I'm not absolutey sure where it is!
UKIP councillor expelled: Oh no, not another one - and why I am not surprised?! With all due deference to several of my UKIP-loving readers I have hinted before that UKIP would likely implode when faced with the relentless pressures of a forthcoming general election. Most professional politicians quickly master the essential art of saying as little as possibe and taking as long as possible to say it! The Telegraph does not know exactly what this particular UKIP lady said but it was enough to get her booted out on the spot. Anyway, now we can all look forward to the first signs of a policy split between the highly intelligent and knowledgeable Douglas Carswell and the 'Arfer Daley' of British politics, Nigel Farage!
No more rumbles today
Lightning bolt huh? The Orthodox Church seems to take a dim view of those who rob their churches.
Posted by: Whitewall | Sunday, 21 December 2014 at 15:42
Arkansas boring weather? Some of y'all ain't never heard this tune by a native Arkie, Johnny Cash--http://www.songlyrics.com/johnny-cash/five-feet-high-and-rising-lyrics/
Posted by: Whitewall | Sunday, 21 December 2014 at 16:33
Oh David! We Tarheels are right where Sir Walter Raleigh left us in 1587. He was held up on his return from The Mother Country by a disturbance caused by all those tacky Spanish warships sailing up your Channel waters.
As we are always here in NC- a valley of humility between two mountains of conceit. Your map gives their names.
Posted by: Whitewall | Sunday, 21 December 2014 at 18:36
Best get somebody with a lick a sense getting into our climate records David! March of this year for instance (sorry, the Weather Service uses all caps):
IN AT LEAST 29 LOCATIONS...HIGH TEMPERATURES OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS HAVE BEEN THE COLDEST EVER RECORDED IN MARCH. AT SIX LOCATIONS...LOWS HAVE BEEN THE COLDEST ON RECORD FOR MARCH. AT NEWPORT...THE NEW ALL-TIME RECORD LOW FOR MARCH OF 1 DEGREE SHATTERED THE PREVIOUS RECORD BY 9 DEGREES. AT MALVERN...
THE NEW RECORD COLD HIGH FOR MARCH NOT ONLY SHATTERED THE PREVIOUS RECORD BY EIGHT DEGREES...BUT IT WAS ALSO THE COLDEST MARCH HIGH TEMPERATURE SINCE 1892. THESE ARE PRETTY SIGNIFICANT ACHIEVEMENTS CONSIDERING RECORDS FOR BOTH LOCATIONS BEGAN IN THE EARLY 1880S.
http://www.srh.noaa.gov/lzk/?n=pns030414txt.htm
And from 2012:
Talking about snow on Christmas in Arkansas is a very rare conversation, but it happened in 2012. Boy, did it ever!
More than ten inches of snow accumulated from west central into central and northeast sections of the state. In Little Rock (Pulaski County), nine inches of snow piled up officially on December 25th. This was the first Christmas snow that stuck (snow depth more than a trace) in more than 80 years!
http://www.srh.noaa.gov/lzk/?n=win6a.htm
______________
What's happening David is we're (in Arkansas) not departing much from the mean - but where we are is in the OPPOSITE direction from where that silly ol' doofus Mr. Gore "inconvenienced" us advising we sell long-handles and buy air conditioners!
Posted by: JK | Sunday, 21 December 2014 at 20:40
I think you're confusing particulars with generalities, JK, but in any case the really important question is where all that chicken shit comes from? Here was me thinking that all you 'Arkies' spent your days out on the range 'herdin' the beef' but instead you're out feeding the chickens!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 07:21
Aha, Whitewall! I looked you up on Wiki and I have you now, Sir, the place with the fewest librarians according to my map - have trouble reading over there, do you? Actually, it's coming back to me now - back in the day I was planning another trip 'over there' following a previous one to New England and I had it worked out to fly into Washington and then work my way down to North Carolina which, if memory serves, had a lot going for it - great beauty and a huge variety of landscapes from shore to mountain. You're a lucky fella'!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 07:32
About this UKIP councillor. The only reason you know about her is because the press and the BBC are scouring the countryside for anti-UKIP stories. You are, in fact, a patsy for these organs of the media.
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 09:03
Well of course, BOE, and they don't have to scour the countryside, the dollops keep falling out of the trees!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 13:18
All that chicken shit. Sure gives you something to think about when eating rice.
http://farmflavor.com/us-ag/arkansas/top-crops-arkansas/right-as-grain-arkansas-leads-nation-in-rice-production/
Posted by: Up2L8 | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 13:58
David, variety of landscapes is correct. In our state we vary from sea level to an elevation of about 6700 feet. About those librarians, most young people today are too fashion conscious to bother with library science.
Posted by: Whitewall | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 15:05
But you only know about the UKIP dollops because the press is on their case. You don't hear anything about the Tory councillor caught shagging sheep in Shropshire, unless you read the local paper.
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 15:46
'Uppers', are you sure they're not feeding the rice to the chickens?
Yes, Whitewall, I really did have an outline plan. We would fly into Washington and - whilst keeping a hand on our wallets, well, all those politicians! - take a quick look at the sights. Then I reckoned it was a do-able drive down to N Carolina. I actually chose the town to stay in - can't remember the name now - but it was a medium size and about halfway between beach and mountains. Ah well, the ifs and buts and maybes of life!
Well, be fair, BOE, the sheep are damned attractive in Shropshire!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 17:23
Unless I win the lottery, I will be retiring to the North Carolina mountains....
Posted by: missred | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 17:44
Ah, dear Miss Red, may I ask you in the sincerest way possible, have you ever considered an older man . . .
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 18:16
" ... confusing particulars with generalities ... "
" ... not departing much from the mean ... "
David?
Since when have I ever, well except of course when speaking of our wimmenfolk, used the word 'mean'?
__________
As to the depth of our poultry "industry" David, I dare you to mount an in-depth search in which some state other than Arkansas gets PETA's dander up more than our own Chickenopolis!
https://secure.peta.org/site/Advocacy?cmd=display&page=UserAction&id=1121
Posted by: JK | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 19:43
Well, JK, you could always bury a few PETA activists in chicken shit!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 22 December 2014 at 20:55