With the sort of talent displayed by Mr. Neil Moore, currently resident at Wandsworth jail in ‘souf Lunnon’, there really must be better ways of employing him than sowing mail bags or whatever they do to pass the time in the slammer these days. According to The Telegraph, Mr. Moore had been remanded in custody pending charges of fraud in which he managed to relieve various large British and American companies of close to £2 mil. He did this by impersonating various bank staff – including women! Apparently he has a facility for impersonating the female voice. This talent may, possibly, have come from his partner who is, er, trans-gendering – don’t ask!
However, eventually the heavy hand of ‘the Plod’ fell on his shoulder and he ended up in Wandsworth ‘nick’, a category B prison. Almost immediately, using an illegal mobile ‘phone, he set about inventing a new persona with fake but official-looking e-mail addresses and even used the name of the leading detective who had nicked him! He set up an e-mail domain in the name of Her Majesty’s Court Service which produced documents purporting to authorise his release on bail which completely fooled the warders at Wandsworth jail out of which he strolled a ‘free’ man! It was only when his real lawyer turned up for a conference with his client that the escape was realised.
The story ends on an ambivalent note. After three days freedom Mr. Moore had second thoughts and decided to hand himself back to the authorities. They, of course, having been made to look complete tossers will now throw the book at him. I can only hope that the ‘Cocklecarrot’ in charge of his trial has a sense of humour and mitigates the sentence. In the meantime, memo to ‘M’ at MI6: A very, very, artful dodger slammed up in Wandsworth, surely we can use him?
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