I hate 'hearties'!

Or to be precise, I hate quite a lot of 'hearties' but most of all I hate, almost without discrimination, all the pursuits followed by 'hearties'.  What I'm trying to say via this phony, public school voice I have adopted is that I loathe all sport!  I am uneasily aware that within seconds, nay, nano-seconds, 'JK' will be diving through my blog history to find all those admissions I have made from time to time to the fact that first thing every morning I listen to 'TOOOOOORKSPOOOOOOORT', a radio station given over almost entirely to 'footie' matters with the occasional dollop of cricket and rugby thrown in. 

Of course, like all 'men of a certain age' (which means old!) I look back to a 'golden era' in my youth when splendid chaps, and a few 'chapettes', excelled at various sporting activities and did so in the proper Corinthian manner, always abiding by the rules and prepared to admit that the best man won even when it was their opponent. Needless to say, winning at all costs, even including cheating, was unheard of.  Yeah, yeah, I know, the other characteristic of old age is not only a bad memory but a selective one as well!

Of course, 'back in the day' we were not, so to speak, up front and personal with our sporting heroes in the way we are today with TV cameras and long distance mics.  We would listen avidly to a BBC radio commentator describing a 'footie' match with perfect enunciation and without a hint of excitement and, of course, he would never describe the trajectory and make up of the gobbets of spit expelled by 'footie' players every five minutes which today we can see close up and in glorious technicolour in our sitting-rooms.  We are no longer detached observers, instead we are in there with them, dammit, we can almost smell them!

The first time I noticed the rot setting in was when that loud-mouthed Irish-American, McEnroe, went off on one at Wimbledon aiming a torrent of abuse at the umpire.  I say, old chap, I thought at the time, that's really not on, you know, this is Wimbledon!  Actually, I didn't think that at all, I thought what a yob, why doesn't someone break a racket over his thick 'Oirish' skull?  And thus was I, an innocent spectator, dragged down to his gruntish level.

I have tried very hard to think of a sport that has not yet descended to knuckle-dragging boorishness but the only one that just about maintains proper behaviour is golf, although that is strained to the limit every two years by the Ryder Cup competition when the players come close to emulating the 'footie' yobs.  Perhaps the greatest tragedy has been the descent into near criminality of track and field athletics where doping is rife.  I think back with genuine nostalgia and fondness to those old black and white newsreels of Bannister breaking the 4-minute mile, a time when track and field was clean and honest.

Anyway, I'll just shuffle off now, muttering under my breath that things were never like that in my day ... oh dear me, no ...

 

Comments

[Whitewall]

Well David, we are on the same page about sports. I used to be a fan of several and even played a couple pretty well way back then. Too much of sports has all become just too much. I thought of golf when you were wondering aloud on your keyboard, especially the style you folks play there. It wasn't so long ago that golf was a dignified game best played by gentlemen, or at least gents for those few hours. Over the last few years, golf has gone "mainstream" and the middle and lower middle classes have descended on the game.

The loud mouth John McEnroe brought the same to tennis. The Rod Lavers and Tony Traberts of the game were dwindling in number.

[JK]

Not this time David, I'm certain you'll be *relieving yourself* of, as I am, given for once your aim is "dead true"!

(I am in mind without having to hit the archives, of a years ago post in which you were bemoaning [Formula One] Why doesn't anyone get killed anymore? Though I can't recall if I replied posting, "It's because everybody involved in "sports" these days are a lot of pussies" but I do recall thinking it.)

Fact is David, I have little shuck with "the hearties" too. For instance I don't give a rat's ass who (or how many) Tiger Woods is boinking and neither give a fig whether is wife is either.

Mind. I did replay her latest crash a few times over.

[JK]

Memory appears to be somewhat more reliable than it was last time I visited the holler.

http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2013/03/the-sunday-rumble-240313.html

[Whitewall]

JK, I seem to recall Tiger's Nordic ex landing a putter upside his head causing him to flee the castle. Now that's sports!

[JK]

The first (of twelve) Indy 500s for me. (In the stands for eight including this first - and to be clear, except for a couple years dirt-tracks, never a driver. ... 1971 made an appearance in Court "accused" of escaping a police chase. Another on the docket happened to be a Team Owner and he, in his very dubious wisdom, concluded despite there being "insufficient evidence" I was the person decided, "Heck give this kid a shot!" Two wins and nine crashes later it was further decided I was probably best suited for some other role.)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1964_Indianapolis_500

[Andra]

It is my understanding that bog snorkelling is still a game without scandal. Granted, I'm not necessarily up to date with the latest bog snorkelling news but still, I think it's your best bet if you want a pleasant day in the country and some not too strenuous exercise.

All that swimming would mean you'd have to be handicapped though. You could probably become bog snorkelling champion without even trying, what with your natural talents and your obvious refinement.

[jimmy glesga]

David any idea when the term' role model' was used. I do laugh when I hear it said however sickening. Like the footballer who shagged any woman that stood still for a moment and was condemned for not being a role model.

[Andra]

JK, every time I see or hear the name Foyt I am reminded of Cannonball Run.
I love that movie!! Mr Foyt!!
Makes me laugh a whole lot every time I see it.

[JK]

For you then Andra

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85PcMJ9D8X0

[Andra]

Wonderful, thanks JK.
Then there's this bit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_rJg1BAEbQ&list=RDI_rJg1BAEbQ

These bleeds?

[Andra]

But this is the BEST bit....
These bleeds???

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Avis_OWEZlI&list=RDI_rJg1BAEbQ&index=3

OK. I may as well get the DVD out and watch the whole damn thing.

[AussieD]

If some umpire had given McEnroe the "bugger off you have just forfeited the match because of your behaviour and language" treatment we may not have descended to the current depths.

Mind you some of the tennis playing chicks are easy on the eye if not on the ear. You only expect that sort of grunting as the result of a quick kick in the cobblers.

[jimmy glesga]

Good see to a younger Roger Moore (Ivanhoe).

[David Duff]

As always this blog never ceases to educate me.

I assumed, dear Andra, that "bog snorkelling" was an invention from your always fertile imagination, so imagine my amazement to find that it is all too real!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bog_snorkelling

The things people do!