Now, now, don't start popping the champers, I don't mean that I am giving up blogging, oh dear me, no, I'm much too much of an old bore to do that, all I mean is that I am giving up trying to be rude to people. Ever since I served my apprenticeship on various Trot-lot blogs years ago I developed what I think is a rather good, vicious, underhand line in how to insult people. But today, at Taki's Mag, I have met my match in Mr. Jim Goad who is Goad by name and exceedingly goading by nature!
Of course, by and large, being an old-school, British gent I tend to draw the line at bashing old ladies, or to be accurate, at least I try to raise my hat before doing so. But not Mr. Goad! He picks out a dear, sweet, old lady and proceeds immediately to unleash a bombardment of insults starting with his heading!
Is it a Hate Crime to Call Madonna a Shriveled-Up Old Hag?
Riiiiiight, Mr.Goad, take it that you do not care for the lady overmuch! Well, if we were in doubt he soon settles the matter:
Geriatric whore Madonna, that Italian slut who sucked and fucked her way to the top of the pop charts sometime wayyyyy back in the early 1980s and has been pooping out hits ever since, fell flat on her 56-year-old ass last week during a performance at the Brit Music Awards. This rapidly led to several cruel variations of “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” jokes on social media.
Oh, come on, Mr. Goad, don't go all feeble on us, tell us the way it is:
After carefully adjusting her hearing aid, swallowing her water pills, fastening her colostomy bag, and arriving late for an interview on her Rascal Electrical Scooter, Madonna accused her tormentors of engaging in “ageism,” which she likened to racism and homophobia.
Oh my Gaaaaaaaard, as they say 'over there', I'm almost feeling a teensy-weensy bit of pity for Madonna even as she enters a plea in self defence against the excruciating attacks on her but Mr. Goad shows no mercy:
To be fair, the bloated, liver-spotted, stretched-out, rapidly dying hag has a point. The official rules dictate that we are no longer permitted to mock, discriminate against, or tell jokes about anyone due to their “innate” characteristics, with one stark exception—those who are advanced in years.
Pheeeeew, they really don't do subtlety 'over there' but at least you are in no doubt as to what they are thinking!
Mad Donna did all those unsavory things way back then and infected a generation of young girls. Sometimes, we asked what's left for her to do...Flush? Glad she is over there with you folks. Please keep her.
Posted by: Whitewall | Thursday, 05 March 2015 at 16:47
No, no, 'Whiters', I keep telling you, it's food parcels you're supposed to be sending to us!
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 06 March 2015 at 12:14
Just look at blazingcatfur for a lovely pocture of the next US president!
Posted by: Backofanenvelope | Friday, 06 March 2015 at 12:29
Being serious for a second, after all the abuse he does make some good points about what one is permitted to think and say and what one isn't.
And besides, I don't think I've aged any better than poor old Madonna. I always admired her sexuality, even though now I'd probably offer her my bus seat.
Posted by: Cuffleyburgers | Friday, 06 March 2015 at 12:50
BOE, er, you haven't moved to Arkansas by any chance, have you?
And, 'Cuffers', I'm beginning to worry about you, too! 'Admired her sexuality'?! She's about as sexy as the toothless old tart who used to hang around the entrance road to Nee Soon Transit Camp in Singapore (circa 1962) and whose efforts to raise some business from the passing 'Toms' was somewhat undermined by the fact that when she lifted her skirt she was wearing army PT shorts underneath!
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 06 March 2015 at 14:35