But at least the Monster Raving Greenie Party give us a laugh

Thanks to Guido we now have the election manifesto from the Green Party - look, don't start sniggering until I've told you!  It is a gem, literally priceless because no-one could ever afford it.  If even one Greenie is returned to parliament after this excerpt from the Monty Python Show then I may be forced to consider seriously moving to Australia - yeeeeeeees, quite!  Anyway, hang on to your hats, here it is:

“a complete ban on cages for hens and rabbits” [Look, I said no laughing!]

• “end the use of the whip in horse racing and conduct a full review of the sport”
• “end the practice of grouse shooting”
• “ensure UK taxpayers’ money is not used for bullfighting”
• “ban the import of fur products”
• “ensure that all schools, hospitals and other public buildings have solar panels by 2020″
• “closure of all coal-fired power stations”
• “make equality and diversity lessons mandatory in all schools”
• “progressively introduce anonymised CVs”
• “strengthen Travellers’ rights”
• “cancelling student debt”
• “revive the role of trade unions”
• “phase in a 35 hours week”
• “work for the abolition of the City of London Corporation”
• “introduce a wealth tax of 2% on the top 1%”
• “raise the additional top rate of income tax to 60%”
• “increase corporation tax from 20% to 30%”
• “introduce new taxes on the use of water”
• “ensure that no company owns more than 20% of a media market”
• “state funding of political parties”
• “pursue a policy of defensive defence, which threatens no one”
• “a ban on the production and sale of fois gras”

Oh my giddy aunt, please, no more, my sides are splitting!  Guido, of course, in his usual helpful manner offers some very useful advice:

If anyone fancies lunch, the duck and fois gras burger at Comptoir Gascon is delicious…

 

Comments

[Whitewall]

What, no demand to all dress alike and call each other "comrade"?

[jimmy glesga]

Whitewall. Universal telephone tapping. Children reporting their parents. David. I did snigger a bit!!!!! Oops laughed.

[Tim Newman]

a ban on the production and sale of fois gras

Yet another politician who has yet to understand the UK no longer has the say over stuff like this.

[Whitewall]

Jimmy, sounds so, so, well, East German.

[jimmy glesga]

Reminds me of that film The Lives of Others. Very scary.

[Mayfly]

"pursue a policy of defensive defence, which threatens no one"? Say whaaaaaaaattt? Firstly, at this rate, that's pretty much what we'll have anyway - never mind the new technology. It could be called, "Do away with the army, raise a load of temporary soldiers that we don't have to pay and call it the 'Territorial Army'". I remember when my father was in the T.A. and took a huge amount of pride in it. He put in rather more than...what is it now, 16 days a year? He is now deaf from the number of hours he spent on the rifle range.

Secondly, I'm not sure that many countries quake in fear of England. In fear of England plus others, maybe. Anyone remember when we last had a policy which would threaten anyone....?

Do they know that rabbits breed, well, like rabbits? That hens (if we're keeping them for their eggs) must be kept separately from roosters to prevent egg fertilisation? That roosters often fight? This is like the Vegan lot, insisting that we don't kill any more animals, without going on to say exactly what's going to happen to said animals if we don't. I think they imagine that farmers will make money out of having great herds of cows, running wild.

"Anonymised C.V.s" - that sounds good. Will never happen.

"35 hour weeks" - no, what they means is, "Will only PAY for 35 hours".

"Close coal fired power stations" - in favour of nuclear ones?

Thank goodness I was never in favour of this party. However, David, I NEVER eat fois gras..

[Whitewall]

Until recently, I thought "fois gras" was a uniquely French STD. The type that made the victim slink off to a distant county for discreet treatment.

[David Duff]

Hmmmn, your Green credentials appear to be lacking, Miss Mayfly, however, I'm with you on avoiding fois gras.

[jimmy glesga]

Whitewall my mrs is attending Frog classes at Strathclyde Uni and when I asked her what was fois gras I got a look of contempt for my ignorance. I reminded her that we put a hilti gun to the head of a coo to ensure she gets a steak on a plate. Did not go down well. But that is what to expect from woman.

[Mayfly]

Ah, jimmy, "trolls will be trolling", lol!