So, as the Scottish oil industry vanishes along with Alec Salmond’s smug smirk, now he has even more problems – sales of Scotch whisky have fallen. Yes, I know, MacShockin’, MacShockin’ but I blame the Yanks! According to Ms. Rebecca Burn-Callender in The Telegraph - and by the way, chaps, she looks a real sweetie so I’m feeling better about my £60 already – exports to America have dropped by 9%! You would have thought that after six years of Obama and the prospect of 18 months non-stop electioneering (and we moan about five weeks!) plus the prospect of ‘HillBilly’ leading the nation that they would need all the Scotch they could swallow! However, I do have it from an impeccable source in Arkansas – no, no, I will not divulge his name – that much of the blame can be laid at the door of Mr. Barney Magroo who has flooded the American market with what purports to be vintage single malt - kept in the barrel overnight - yes, as long as that!
Before After
So, with worldwide falling sales of whisky plus the Scottish oil industry being forced to sell at rock bottom prices and thus relying on support from London, no wonder 'Smug Alex' looks a bit down in the dumps. Never mind, Alex, have a wee dram, it'll cheer you up!
You either love or hate Kim Jock Eck there is no middle ground. This man does not care about the economy only petty Scottish Nationalism which he eats sleeps and shites.
Why the Englisn tolerate this man and his crew is beyond me. The English should be demanding a better share of public spending.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Wednesday, 01 April 2015 at 17:02
We English have a cunning plan! We know how socialism ends; so we give Salmond all the rope he needs. In fact, he'll probably bring his own rope!
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Wednesday, 01 April 2015 at 17:17
Being serious, I do think the Scots Nats need to be handled with care. They are like the very worst sort of drunken Jock lout looking round a crowded pub for someone to fight with. If they gain a position of power in Parliament - and I'm not sure they will - we should quietly and politely hand them a groat of three and show them the door which we should firmly lock behind them!
Posted by: David Duff | Wednesday, 01 April 2015 at 17:23
Being serious? Where is your sense of humour? Imagine Salmond and Balls rolling round on the floor in the Treasury. Or Salmond as Chancellor falling out with Nicola the Queen of Scots.
Posted by: Backofanenvelope | Wednesday, 01 April 2015 at 19:02
B of E. The Scots in the latest poll want just like UKIP to control immigration but they do not like UKIP. Most Scots are really right wing just like UKIP but do not like UKIP. Most Scots like a bevvy just like Nigel does so maybe that is something to build on.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Wednesday, 01 April 2015 at 20:17
Ah, your 'impeccable source in Arkansas' - a great and good man.
Completely OT, but perhaps he may deign to explain why it's 'Arkansas' to rhyme with 'Ah-can-saw' but 'Kansas' to rhyme with 'Canvas?'
And another thing; why, oh why, is Kansas City in the State of Missouri?
(I learnt that listening to a quiz in a pub in Grimsby).
Posted by: Oswald Thake | Thursday, 02 April 2015 at 10:56
Did the quiz also mention KCK?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kansas_City,_Kansas
Posted by: Up2L8 | Thursday, 02 April 2015 at 11:15
"Oswald Thake"
Next time you are in mentioned pub ask? How many know Kansas City is the 3rd largest city in Kansas?
Of course many will argue Kansas City is in Missouri (being half correct), not realizing they are adjacent cities.
Posted by: Up2L8 | Thursday, 02 April 2015 at 11:25
Well David, I'm doing my best to make up for the shortfall, but it's a struggle especially now the clocks have gone forwards, the sun takes that much longer to reach the yard arm...
Posted by: Cuffleyburgers | Thursday, 02 April 2015 at 12:57
Alas, Gentlemen, the mystery of Kansas City is as imponderable as the square root of -1. And I fear that the explanation from my 'Arkie' source will be much the same!
See, I told you, 'Cuffers', that this bloody clock-changing racket was no good to anyone!
Posted by: David Duff | Thursday, 02 April 2015 at 17:01
Tale of two cities!
Posted by: Up2L8 | Thursday, 02 April 2015 at 17:10
Oswald Thake, it's even worse. There is a rive across the Great Plains called the Arkansas, rhymes with canvas. It's all about how Frenchmen and English-speaking Americans transliterate names from various Native American languages. Hilarity ensues.
Submitted for your consideration: Tulsa, Tuscaloosa, Tallahassee. They all mean "abandoned town"
Posted by: Michael Adams | Thursday, 02 April 2015 at 18:22
One learns something new every day from the erudite rascals who post here - not to mention your good self, David!
Posted by: Oswald Thake | Friday, 03 April 2015 at 11:26
Have a Good Friday Oswald. I had the lowest form of education in a Junior Secondary.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Friday, 03 April 2015 at 19:03
Oh, Oswald, you say that to all the girls!
Posted by: David Duff | Friday, 03 April 2015 at 20:15