I am writing this in my capacity as ex-Corporal (substantive) now Field Marshal (acting) Duff, Chief of the General Staff. You may not have heard of this promotion yet but I am assured that it will be announced next week along with other government appointments. This well-deserved (and overdue) promotion is entirely due to my keen strategic insight demonstrated only a few weeks ago (I can't be arsed to look for the post but my resident archivist, JK, will find it, I'm sure) in which I pointed out that in an age of mass drone attacks aircraft carriers were about as much use as galleons! Courtesy of Drudge, I found the details confirming my shrewd strategic insight at The Free Beacon:
China’s military plans to produce nearly 42,000 land-based and sea-based unmanned weapons and sensor platforms as part of its continuing, large-scale military buildup, the Pentagon’s annual report on the People’s Liberation Army (PLA) disclosed Friday.
China currently operates several armed and unarmed drone aircraft and is developing long-range range unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs) for both intelligence gathering and bombing attacks.
As I never cease reminding you all, 20th century history teaches us that you ignore ex-corporals at your peril! Mind you, being right all the time is a terrible burden, you've no idea how I suffer.
Forget about drones they can be brought down with an electric impulse or a talented hacker.
With your new found status could you please cancel the HS2 project to stop northerners coming south quicker and divert the funds saved to restoring Hadrians Wall, to be renamed Duff Wall our side McDuff Wall their side. Promote a tax on bagpipes and sporrans south of the wall. Ban dirks as they are a danger to a drunken Scotsman when replacing in sock.Cancel all tax on Scotch whiskey consumed in Scotland and free single malt to replace free milk in all Scottish schools.That should do the trick. All funded by the cancellation of HS2.
The only Field Marshall I can remember was Goering carry on Herr Duff.
Posted by: Peter Whale | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 09:21
You could form a new regiment from the number of British Field Marshals, for example:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roland_Gibbs
who, whilst CO of my battalion, was lucky enough to have me carrying his radio set!
I like the idea of (Mac)Duff's Wall, it has a certain ring to it and people are always telling me I'm as thick a brick.
I quite agree about HS2 but, alas, it's a bribe from Dave 'n' George to the northerners to try and counter Labour's argument that Tories don't care about 'oooop north'. We soppy southerners don't, of course, but we must pretend!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 10:38
"...being right all the time is a terrible burden, you've no idea how I suffer."
As an ex-corporal who is also right all the time I sympathise. Occasionally I get weary of arguing and give in. Then when I say "I told you so" what thanks do I get? It's a hard life.
Posted by: Frank | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 10:52
politics is pretending.
Posted by: Whitewall | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 10:54
I'd like a drone. Where do I order one?
Posted by: Andra | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 11:04
I feel your pain, Frank, we ex-corporals must stick together!
From China, Andra, like everything else!
Sometimes, 'Whiters',but then we are taken by surprise when one of them actually means what they say - and does it!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 11:13
The good news when it comes to the project for unification of Europe from Galway to the Urals under an Anglo-Saxon mandate, which made its first step in the right direction yesterday, is that the last unreconstructed cousins of our wonderful family, aka the Rooskies, who might take a bit of familial tough Love before they fall into line, haven't got a clue when it comes to drones.
http://www.wired.com/2012/08/russian-drones/
Thanks to the hairies availing themselves to the propeller heads of BAe, Thales, etc. (no pun intended) for a decade plus of target practice, Putin's drive to re-equip his armed forces with traditional gear like T14 tanks and IFV's seems like a monumental strategic error.
I say, it's been a dashed good week for Blighty and the Western family, ain't it?
SoD
Posted by: Lawrence Duff | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 11:40
Yeah yeah I know David, you "don't care much" for people who use all lowercase - but - demographics as they say is, destiny.
https://hbdchick.wordpress.com/2015/05/08/my-in-depth-analysis-of-the-u-k-elections/
__________
Try eBay Andra. Or Lockheed.
Posted by: JK | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 11:45
Thanks, SoD, but before I get too cheerful about Russian backwardness I wonder how many drones we have developed?!
Sorry, JK, but I'm not ploughing through all that illiterate rubbish. If the writer can't be bothered to write grammatical English then he can try Chinese!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 12:01
Next decade's drone fodder ...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-32588868
SoD
Posted by: Lawrence Duff | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 12:09
"I'd like a drone. Where do I order one?"
D&N of course, more drones than you could shake a stick at ...
SoD
Posted by: Lawrence Duff | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 12:11
RIGHT! That's it! You'll go to your bed without any supper tonight for being so cheeky! Oooops, sorry, I forgot, time has moved on!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 12:15
I haven't got out of bed yet, "duvet trolling" to my heart's content this morning, and speaking of targets, it's a "target rich environment" after this week, so I might just not bother getting up today!
SoD
Posted by: Lawrence Duff | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 12:24
Here ya go Duff, Git yer drool on!
http://www.aviation.com/news/navys-swarming-locust-drones/
Posted by: JK | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 12:49
42000 drones. Two weeks to launch them. Some engines won't start. Some will crash on take off. Some will fail inflight or fly in circles. Some will attack Chinese or neutral shios. Some will be picked off by the carrier's aircraft or defeated by the carriers counter- measures. Finally, the one that gets thru' will be shot down in a wall of lead or by a laser.
Back to the drawing board Field Marshal!
Posted by: Backofanenvelope | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 12:50
And the Chinese are pouring concrete over coral reefs to create and claim territory. Thought it was worth a mention. For peaceful purposes of course. Nothing at all to do with Imperialism.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 17:06
Perhaps the Americans should be investing in weather control. The occasional typhoon whistling thru' the Spratleys etc should do wonders!
Posted by: backofanenvelope | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 17:16
Jimmy, the Chinese are taking over Australia right now by merely buying it all. Nobody much seems to notice.
I hope they don't go pouring concrete over our Great Barrier Reef though. Although, I'm sure somebody would notice that ..... maybe. Well, they would, wouldn't they?
Posted by: Andra | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 20:01
Andra. Maybe people would not notice. I thought the Chinese pouring concrete on reefs was a joke at first until it was filmed. And the Philippines have sunk an old USA ship onto a reef which is manned by the military 24/7 to stop the Chinese doing so. Felt sorry for those Philippino servicemen that get supplied by air and the rations go astray on occasion.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 20:11
"Thanks, SoD, but before I get too cheerful about Russian backwardness I wonder how many drones we have developed?!"
Well how dya fancy a couple of tickets for the Farnborough air show next year?
Seems like drones are going to steal the show ...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/industry/engineering/11594093/Drones-could-be-the-stars-of-the-show-at-Farnborough.html
According to Howard Wheeldon (see article), an independent aerospace analyst, “The UK is a leader in unmanned aerial vehicles and having them at Farnborough would only help highlight our position in the field.”
SoD
Posted by: Lawrence Duff | Saturday, 09 May 2015 at 23:27
Lawrence. George Bush 2 announced the contract for what should have been the last piloted military plane contract just after 9/11. Maybe my hearing was a bit iffy.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Sunday, 10 May 2015 at 00:16
http://www.glescapals.com/folk/forces1.htm
SOME will remember them.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Sunday, 10 May 2015 at 01:09
Ban dirks as they are a danger to a drunken Scotsman when replacing in sock.
Hate to be picky Peter but a dirk [Highland or Midshipman's] is worn on the belt. The sharp thingie Highlanders stick in their sock/hose is a sgian dubh. :-)
Posted by: AussieD | Sunday, 10 May 2015 at 06:04
Aussie D - is that Yiddish?
Posted by: Andra | Sunday, 10 May 2015 at 08:00
The border between England and Scotland has never run along Hadrian's Wall. Nor should it, or England would lose a chunk of Cumberland and all of Northumberland. Now if it ran along the line of the Wall of Antonine...
Posted by: Oswald Thake | Sunday, 10 May 2015 at 10:33
Aussie D - is that Yiddish
Not Yiddish Andra. Hebrew. The highlanders are one of the lost tribes of Israel. :-)
Oswald you are right but I was under the impression there was not much left of the Antonine Wall and a quick fix would be needed to quell the flood of moochers quickly as possible.
Posted by: AussieD | Sunday, 10 May 2015 at 11:25
AussieD.http://www.historic-scotland.gov.uk/antoninewall
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Sunday, 10 May 2015 at 11:44
AussieD. Parts of a wooden built Roman Fort has been found as far north as Perth.
So besides the wine what did the Romans ever do for us!
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Sunday, 10 May 2015 at 11:48
Thanks Jimmy
Posted by: AussieD | Sunday, 10 May 2015 at 11:55
Oswald Thake. If the border was the Antonine Wall England would have the largest welfare bill in Europe. Just leave the border where it is.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Sunday, 10 May 2015 at 20:32