Crikey, I was right!

As all my regulars will know this blog does not pride itself on the accuracy of its forecasting skills.  This is very simply explained because on the whole, by and large and taken in the round, as it were, I'm crap at forecasting!  But, and here you will excuse me indulging in some deep philosophical insights, every once in a while the toast does NOT land marmalade down!

Here are some random thoughts and re-actions as the remaining results come in.  The English people, on the whole, demonstrated sound common-sense.  The Scots went nuts with their home-grown Nats.  There is a God and he has answered my prayers by smoting the il-Lib-non-Dems - mightily!  And you only need to recite the names of the losers to rejoice - David Laws (expenses cheat), Vince Cable (untrustworthy and nasty), Simon Hughes (at last!) and best of all the ineffably stupid Ed Davey who is greener and loonier than a real-life green loony!

Finally, I turn to the biggest loser of the lot - no, not the so-called 'opinion polls' who were hopelessly and uselessly wrong - but Ed Miliband.  A few days ago I suggested we bury him under that ridiculous stone tablet that some uber-idiot inside the Labour team had suggested as a gimmick.  Well, now the GBP have done just that and given his despicable behaviour towards his brother, good riddance and let's cement it down.  Perhaps as an added reward to the good sense of the English we could bury that pig-ignorant Russell Brand with him!

I'm off downstairs to test my falling toast theory and bask in the warm glow of an accurate forecast!

ADDITIONAL:   Ed Balls out - there is a god!

 

 

Comments

[AussieD]

I see the porridge eaters have returned/installed the PENP in all but one seat in Porridgeland. I'll be there in a couple of months and it will be interesting to watch what happens.

Now is the time for England to rebuild Hadrian's Wall and Offa's Dyke [no not the leso sheila the big earthy thingo] and tell the Scots and Welsh mendicants to exercise the sex and travel option.

It appears you lot may have a spark of resistance left in you yet. A new meaning for VE Day - now Victory in England Day. All the Tories need now is a leader with a back bone and dangly things.

Happy VE Day Duffers.

Good luck.

[Peter Whale]

Well called Duff, dim Dave was the least worse of the two. Now start on a long campaign and get us out of the EUSSRR. It's not that I don't like Europe I have lived in France for the last ten years. Blighty is not a natural socialist country we did for the world what the Romans did for us and it is against Britishness to be under the rule of Junker the drunker when we have our own Bullingdon sops we can chose.

[David Duff]

Gentlemen, I think now is a time for me, at any rate, to ponder. I can do 'pondering', it's really hard thinking I can't quite manage! The nuances of this result are exceedingly complex. All I can say with certainty is that I am glad I'm not 'Dim Dave'!

[backofanenvelope]

Having eaten my breakfast of sour grapes and curdled milk, allow me to offer you my congratulations on your correct forecast. The only drawback, for you, that I can see, is that you will get the blame for YMD's cockups!

[Lawrence Duff]

Salmond says the Scottish lion has roared. I'd say three lions roared louder.

Well done the English. Like the US cavalry, turns up in the nick of time to save the day.

God bless the English.

SoD

[Cuffleyburgers]

The result is an enigma.

SNP whitewash of course, but I don't think they have changed their opinion on independence, I think it was more to do with saying bring on the devo max that was offered.

What is required is for CMD to make it clear that they have full tax raising responsibilities in order to pay for their health and welfare promises.

That cash from England will be limited to an ever decreasing x per capita.

The UK Government in London will be responsible for defence and foreign entanglements only, as far as scotland is concerned. Therefore Scottish MPs need turn up in London only on Wednesdays, and their salary will be reduced accordingly.

[Up2L8]

Congratulations to ya`uns. Noticed the results are far better than previously forecast.

[Lawrence Duff]

And the icing on the Victoria sponge cake?

Watching Juncker the Drunker grovelling, crawling, and pleading for Blighty to stay in the EU - with a loaded Luger held to his temple by the Kaiserine.

Too delicious. Am I still asleep and dreaming?

SoD

[Peter Whale]

No Ed Davey, no Ed Balls, Ed Milliplonk gone by lunch.

No Eds are better than one, MUCH better

[backofanenvelope]

AussieD has got it right. Do the Tories have someone with backbone and dangly bits? If Cameron has a little list, right at the top should be English votes for English laws. This would neutralise the SNP at Westminster. He won't though.

[Lawrence Duff]

"Dim Dave", didn't he do well.

Still need that absolute majority though, c'mon England, get it done.

SoD

[Lawrence Duff]

Job done: -

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/general-election-2015/11588781/who-won.html

What a day.

SoD

[Whitewall]

Well congrats to England! It seems from "over here" that our media is "shocked" and "surprised". It also sounds as if Scotland spoke loudly too if our media squares with the entries so far of those here. Maybe if the Scots are given what they demand, then they might be happy? As I mentioned yesterday from Diplomad...oh those Anglo Saxons! Maybe Juncker's little speech helped some decide their vote.

[jimmy glesga]

I have to say I am pleased that we have an overall majority in Parliament therefore the Nats will not be able to put the begging bowl out. However the RuK might just get pissed off listening to their moaning and sad hard done to stories.
The Nats have no choice but to call for a referendum.

[Lawrence Duff]

Ukip got the same percentage of the vote as the Natsies plus Lib Dems combined.

Maybe we could deport the Ukippers to Scotland - then give the whole fucking lot independence? (Boot not so comfortable on the other foot, is it?)

SoD

[jimmy glesga]

I note the MP for Baghdad West lost.

[Lawrence Duff]

If Carlsberg did general elections ...

SoD

[Lawrence Duff]

It's all going our way today, isn't it?

I mean, you know when all's not well with our new great enemy, "The Workers Paradise, Second Edition", when they start purging their own army officers because one T14 broke down?

20 senior officers Gulagged for one cranky tank in a rehearsal? Wtf are they going to do when one breaks down in the live May Day parade tomorrow and causes a pile up and ten mile tail back on Red Square right in front of Ra-Ra-Ras-Putin's piggy eyes peering down from that shabby, post-Soviet balcony? It'll be Red Square alright.

May all the "Gods of Broken Technology" I regularly pray to in my IT job conspire for the mother and father of techno-crash spectaculars tomorrow - Gotta see if Sky or someone on the internet is broadcasting the event.

SoD

[JK]

Excuse me David, isn't that "I was right!" just a bit over the top?

I seem to recall a number of, "I - hopes ... maybes ... ifs & etcs" but still, Congratulations Y'all!
___________

However much I enjoy your post David, I have to admit I like two of Anna's sentences better;

"Then this morning we had the icing on the cake – Miliband lost his Balls. Actually it was the icing and marzipan, for the man who couldn’t add up the nation’s finances also demanded a re-count, so we got to see him lose twice."

http://annaraccoon.com/

[David Duff]

As so often, JK, I bow to Ms. Raccoon's wit and insight.
And stop bloody nit-picking, dammit, I was nearly dead right and that's spot on as far as I'm concerned!

[JK]

Nearly right is good enough David.

I was afeered visiting D&N everyday was gonna be a little iffy with Albania's notoriously bad internet connections.

[Andra]

Well done, David. It had to happen sooner or later.

[TheBigHenry]

Finally, it appears the Ball's not in your court!

[David Duff]

'Oh, very witty, Wilde', er, I mean Henry, and welcome to D&N, by the way.

Thank you, Andra, and I hope you didn't have to wait too long!

[Lawrence Duff]

Oh our cup over-runneth; Juncker the Drunker has started grovelling already, with the Kaiserine's Luger pressed firmly against his temple: -

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/11592457/EU-must-consider-major-reform-to-keep-Britain-in-Merkel-ally-says.html

With Grexit imminent, France on her tits, the Jerries at our feet rather than our throat, this is not a Dunkirk moment any more; this is D-Day.

Time for Anglo-Saxons all over the world (yes, that means the offspring too, ex-colonials, et al) to save continental Europe from itself - for the third time in a century.

An economic invasion with Blighty as the bridgehead: Total reform of the EU institutions based on the Anglo-Saxon model; fiscal, financial, and legal primacy of the nation state with free floating currencies and exchange rates, but with freedom of movement of labour, capital, and assets across the EU, UK, Britain, America, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada.

How 'bout that? Isn't it time?

Wtf are the Rooskies, Hairies, and China gonna do against that? There's simply no-one big enough to fuck with us any more.

SoD

[JK]

"How 'bout that? Isn't it time?"

Maybe SoD, depends on the trends I reckon. Continuing I mean ... Ukraine has me a little leery.

Depends on whether 'David's man David' and that austerity thingie
___________

"Meanwhile, the UK (traditionally a leader in European defence matters) has remained silent on the matter. If anything, the continuing deficit means that the defence budget is likely to face further cuts. As a consequence, the UK government’s call to its fellow NATO members during last year’s summit in Wales to re-commit to NATO’s 2 per cent of GDP target for defence spending is looking increasingly foolish."

https://www.rusi.org/analysis/commentary/ref:C5543813269A41/#.VUu_z87ASfR

[JK]

http://warontherocks.com/2015/04/parsimonious-albion-is-the-uk-going-wobbly/?singlepage=1

[Lawrence Duff]

I must admit JK, I had hoped that "Dim Dave" would make a last minute manifesto change and throw the ludicrous amounts we spend on foreign aid into the defence budget.

0.7% of UK GDP, circa £11.7bn, would buy an awful lot of drones / Challenger 2 upgrades / choose your favourite mil-toy.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/eu/11513825/Aid-budget-to-increase-by-1-billion.html

We wouldn't even have to spend all the foreign aid budget on defence to bring it up to 2%. We're only scheduled to be short by 0.2-0.3% in 2015-16: -

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-31619553

The rest could go to, err, me and the other 65 million / the deficit / some combo of the two.

Maybe "Dim Dave" didn't want the £11.7bn foreign aid budget cut pre-election because of the "nasty party" label resurfacing. But post-election he's got some expensive manifesto promises to fulfil. He's got form on suggesting a switch from foreign aid to defence is a possibility ...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-21528464

... but regrettably he also promised to maintain 0.7% foreign aid in the manifesto: -

http://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2015/may/05/open-thread-uk-elections-foreign-aid-vote

SoD

[Whitewall]

Oh our cup over-runneth; Juncker the Drunker has started grovelling already, with the Kaiserine's Luger pressed firmly against his temple: -
Lawrence, I do like the way you think.