He's such a spoilsport that Dan Hodges

Readers may have detected the merest hint of shrieking, hysterical glee in my contemplation of the Labour party as it thrashes and bashes itself to pieces before my very eyes.  I have tried to be more mature and to consider calmly the wider political implications but ... but ... oh my giddy aunt ... please, no more ... it's all too hilarious for words ... my sides are aching ... please stop!  At which point along comes that wretched Dan Hodges in The Telegraph to pour a sour but shrewd mix of commonsense and intelligent analysis that ruins all the fun! 

First of all he does what he did before the general election and blows away all the froth, particularly the polling companies' froth, and tells it the way it will be - Jeremy 'Karl' Corbyn will not win, it will be a toss up between Burnham and Cooper.  Damn!  Still, even if 'Misery' Hodges is right and we get a Labour leader who is at least a resident of Planet Earth and not Planet Moonshine there will still be plenty of room for clown-like humour as they totter around in their big, ill-fitting shoes and red noses pouring buckets of water down each other's baggy pantaloons.

Perhaps my analogy is wrong.  Perhaps, if Burnham or Cooper win it will be more like one of those old comedy movies when all the little piglets down on the farm escape from their pens and the Three Stooges have to try and round them up.  The Labour party 'piglets are, of course, all those 'Russell Tsipras' look-and-sound-alikes who were, hitherto, normally confined to the outside fringes of the party conference.  But now they have tasted not only freedom but power.  Suddenly, or so they think, people are taking them seriously.  They are the new kids on the block and they know that the capo di tutti capi (aka: Len McCluskey) with his members' millions will be offering total support.

So the question arises, which of the two of them, Burnham or Cooper, will be the best at dragging the Labour party back to electoral respectability?  I know very little about either of them but from my vague impressions I don't think Burnham has what it takes.  In fact, the one who deserves to wear the trousers is Yvette Cooper.  Not the least of her advantages is that she is married to that political thug, Ed Balls.  Now he would know how to deal with the unruly kiddie-winkies in the Labour playground!

 

Comments

[Cuffleyburgers]

I think Yvette was considered fairly unelectable at the outset, and so a good candidate from our point of view - my concern is that she might turn out a bit of a Sturgeon-like populist nazi and deliver a labour landslide, which would be the end of Great Britain.

[Kevin B]

There is another side to Labour party electability, (or not), and that is Tory party electability, (or not).

There will, between now and the next election, be the usual tory scandals - sex, money, expenses etc. - as well as an increasing number of outraged twitter mob attacks which will add to the 'nasty party' meme.

Then the media will be full of 'kiddies starving in the streets due to vicious tory cuts' stories, especially now that Osborne might be thinking about maybe actually cutting welfare.

And then dear Dave might not handle the EU renegotiations terribly well and although he will win a yes vote, a lot of tories might flip to UKIP.

And then the lights will go out thanks to the wonderful Department of (NO)Energy and Climate Change.

At which point a labour party led by Stalin with Mao and Pol Pot as deputies would probably walk it.

Though come to think of it, if Corbyn gets the labour job then Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot might seem a dream team by comparison.

At least they weren't fans of ISIS.

[jimmy glesga]

I think Corbyn is being deliberately talked up by the Tory press. They cleary want this man to win. Corbyn is against austerity and that is not wrong as those who caused the problem should bear the brunt and not those at the bottom of the shitheap. However he has another agenda and the Israeli people may explain that better than me. And he would not be bothered about a fall out with the USA.

[David Duff]

Kevin, you are entirely right in suggesting that the next election is for the Tories to lose rather than Labour, whoever is the leader, to win. There are some signs of severe economic weather approaching which could cause the Tory ship to sink.