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Wednesday, 22 July 2015

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You never said a truer word, Duffy! Kev's a real 'Son of Martha,' and I know a few like him, I'm glad to say.

Oh, alright, then, Oswald, I'll own up and admit that I had to look up "sons of Martha'. Obviously, all those years ago, I failed to pay sufficient attention during biblical studies so I have given myself 50 lines!

David, I trust all that stored food managed to safely find its way back to the new one? It is men like "Kevin" who maintain the civilized world. The sort that can use a Swiss army knife and a box of cotton swabs to build a shopping mall.

I don't believe you Duffers!

You were secretly watching the test match and have since been in mourning.

Oh, you good folk along the lower coast near Selsey, there are reportedly a few dozen sharks swimming around in shallow water off the beach according to the WSJ. Careful.

There's even more of 'em up in Westminster!

In spite of being afflicted with a severe case of "passion fingers", I am usually game to have a go at most things, some of which almost turn out right. My late father and I were known as Bodger & Son... by my mother.

(Passion fingers describes someone who f^cks everything he touches.)

Timbo..sort of like me and anything to do with plumbing. The job starts small and then oops...job gets a little bigger. I persist. The job gets difficult and bigger. My wife calls a plumber. I explain that I could have actually fixed the problem, but in truth--I am much too handsome to bother with plumbing.

I could do with Kevin for a couple of weeks.
Send him out, if you please.

Oh, Whiters, the Swiss army knife, I think the first thing I did was cut my finger!

Not so, Cuffers, thank God I missed the entire miserable funeral!

Timbo, sorry to break the news but I think we may be related!

Quite right, Whiters and it ruins one's best suit!

Not bloody likely, Ma'am, he's mine, all mine!

Whitewall. Top Tips. 1. Know where the water stop cock is and practice which way to turn it then show the wife how to do it.
2. Make sure the wife has regular practice and keep the fridge well stocked with beer.
All will be well.

Jimmy, good advice!

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