Or if I can put it this way, このブログは販売のためであります. That, as you will instantly have recognised and translated, is the Japanese for "This blog is for sale". For some time now I have been considering the immense wealth potential of this blog which has an international readership of about seven, well, eight when 'JK' comes down from 'them thar hills'! I have been prompted into action by the fact announced today that the Financial Times has just sold for £844 million to Mr. Magoo, chairman of the Menosee Corporation, or something like that. Now I have no desire to denigrate the FT, a splendid Fleet Street institution even if recently it went all a bit soppy Leftie and its readership disappeared faster than the inhabitants of Hokkaido on being told that a tsunami was approaching!
Of course, I understand that many of their tiny readership are the movers and shakers of this globe but that's equally true of this blog. 'JK', otherwise known as 'the sage of Arkansas' (although that might be because of his whiskers), reads and inwardly digests every single newspaper in America and provides us with his, er, distilled wisdom. Similarly, 'Jimmy' keeps us all up to date on Scottish matters even if his accent is a tad difficult to read! Very regularly, 'BOE' flies over and drops a one-line bomb on Europe - with deadly accuracy, it's his training, you know, and we have not one but two regular Australian correspondents although at the moment one of them is dead drunk in some European bar as he completes his Grand Tour. 'Cuffers' keeps us all up to date on the very best vintages to be found in Italy even if some of his reports become a little slurred towards the end. And we have some regular and shrewd insights from our North Carolina correspondent - in between fishing trips, that is.
So you see, Mr. Magoo of Menosee Corporation (I had to repeat the joke because some of you might not have got it first time round - do wake up and pay attention!), this truly international blog is exactly right for your global corporate plans to take over the world - er, hope it goes better for you than your last effort! Anyway, because you're such a nice polite gentleman (but I do wish you'd stop all that bowing), £500, er, cash, natch! Oh alright then, twenty quid and a sack of rice that glows in the dark!
For sale? Does the current owner come along with the deal for a paid advisor fee for a few months? Or are you to be paid a monthly fee to stay away under a "non compete" agreement? Either way, I am completely unnerved by your news and will arrange a hasty fishing trip in the morning to cope with matters.
Posted by: Whitewall | Saturday, 25 July 2015 at 12:17
Well for goodness sake, Whiters, don't rock the boat!
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 25 July 2015 at 12:44
David I understand rice is used to dry out electrical thingys and you are very dry already, maybe the glowing rice adds some extra sparkle to the dry wit.
Posted by: Peter Whale | Saturday, 25 July 2015 at 15:16
I bid 米の一つボウル.
Posted by: Uncle Mort | Saturday, 25 July 2015 at 18:08
Thank you, Peter, I take after my Dry Martinis!
And you, Uncle Mort, are a tight wad - only one bowl - and not even fried rice?
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 25 July 2015 at 19:38
Well, part of the problem is that you forget the most important person, the one who had glamour and seduction to your column (nudge nudge fnah fnah a wink is as good as a nod to a dead horse) and so on.
Hurry up and write your drama memories from a time I can remember and I might even start commenting again.
Posted by: Mayfly | Monday, 27 July 2015 at 13:45
Shhhhh, Miss Mayfly, they're all hoping that I will reach the end of my mammoth 'borathon' on my acting 'career' as soon as possible. What they don't realise is that then I will get started on my directing 'career' which is, I believe, where you came in!
Posted by: David Duff | Monday, 27 July 2015 at 18:30