'Fred Kite' is alive and well - unfortunately

So there I was lying in bed this morning, feeling fairly happy, listening to the radio and looking forward to the huge list of domestic chores the 'Memsahib' delights in producing for me on a regular basis when suddenly I heard the re-incarnation of Fred Kite, one of the late Peter Sellers' greatest creations!

Fred Kite, you will recall - well, you will if you're a Brit and fairly ancient - was the ineffably stupid Trade Union shop steward in the 1959 satirical film I'm Alright Jack.  Well, I'm delighted to tell you that the 'Kite line' continues to this day in the form of some total tit moaning on the radio about the closure of various steel plants across the country.  In effect, he was complaining that the government had failed to step in and take over using 'government money'.  Obviously, no-one had told this latter-day Fred Kite that there is no such thing as 'government money', there is only MY money plus whatever money the greasers in the Treasury can borrow off the international Shylocks and which has to be paid back eventually using - yes, you guessed it - MY money.  (Of course, I realise that there is other people's money involved as well but I do like to nurture a personal grievance!)

So what, you may ask, was this 'son-of-Kite' intending to do with all this government money?  The answer, as I understand it, was to keep on doing what they have been doing which is making zillions of tons of steel - that no-one wants to buy!  Whilst doing so the workers would continue to receive their usual salaries - natch!  And this brilliant plan to keep churning out more and more steel even as the storage capacity for unused and unwanted steel is rapidly reaching saturation point, and whilst the high seas are full of enormous ships with holds full of steel which cannot find a buyer, is the trade union solution to the problem - yeeeeeees, quite!  In the meantime, various ninnies in the Labour party are rushing round in circles crying out that something must be done! 

Well, yes, 'Bruvvers', something can be done and is being done - the steel producing plants will shut down!  The workers, cradled to some extent by our welfare system, will eventually drift off into other jobs where their labours will result in products that people actually want.  In the meantime, if the Chinese wish to flood the markets with steel produced at 'coolie'- level wages, that's fine by me, not least because the things of which steel forms a part will be that much cheaper.

I leave you with my rallying call:  Consumers of the World - Unite!

 

Comments

[Whyaxye]

The workers, cradled to some extent by our welfare system, will eventually drift off into other jobs where their labours will result in products that people actually want. In the meantime, if the Chinese wish to flood the markets with steel produced at 'coolie'- level wages, that's fine by me, not least because the things of which steel forms a part will be that much cheaper.

Blimey, that's a rosy view of things - you must be having a good day! More likely is that the workers will need a bit more cradling, and will be less than 100% successful in finding those other jobs. Meanwhile, the Chinese stuff will certainly cost less, but what you save will be offset by tax.

But here's hoping!

[Kevin B]

There is another element in the farce. The ambition of our wonderful government to change the global climate by dint of making our 'leccy expensive and unreliable, thus forcing any industry that relies on less expensive and more reliable energy supplies to up sticks and leg it to pastures new. Like China or India.

There is another ironic twist which is that Tata, the Indian firm that's closing it's steelworks here, was once run by Rajendra, 'the randy railway engineer', Pachauri who was the chairman of the IPCC* and thus reaponsible for our wonderful governments desire to out Cnut Cnut.

*Until he 'resigned' for having his hand somewhere he shouldn't have. (i.e. not in the till.)

[Uncle Mort]

"We do not and cannot accept the principle that incompetence justifies dismissal. That is victimisation."

Good old Fred Kite - he should have been a banker.

[Andra]

UP THE WORKERS!!!

[David Duff]

Well, 'W', death and taxes are unavoidable but even so, other great industries have closed down over the years and yet new ones come in to take their place.

Yes indeed, Kevin, dear old Pachi is sadly missed, he added so much to the gaiety of the 'Warmer' movement.

Good point, Uncle Mort.

Indeed so, Andra, right up!

[JK]

This is a regularly scheduled test of the Archivist network.

http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2012/07/jk-comes-up-trumps.html

[jimmy glesga]

David, we do need to retain a steel making capacity. What would we do in a time of war (a serious war). Who would we turn to! CHINA.

[Cuffleyburgers]

Well Duffers. I have a sort of atavistic affection for heavy industry and while I subscribe wholeheartedly to free markets I greatly regret seeing plants like Redcar shut down.

There is massive disruption for thousands of famlies, massive costs to the tax payer during the relocation phase which may last decades, and always the nagging question of whether it is really uncompetitive orcwhether it is government and trade union action that has made it so via excessive wage increases, resistance to initiatives to improve productivity, excessive health and safety and other heavy handed regulation, the high energy costs caused by the governments insane energy policies and high taxes,

I strongly suspect that in a well governed Uk Redcar would not need to shut down.