As regular readers will know, this blog is a shy, retiring sort of a blog not given to ramming its opinions down readers' throats, preferring instead to sit back and take a relaxed view of the world and its affairs. BUT NOT ANY BLOODY MORE!
For years now I have been increasingly irritated by the EU which, it is now clear except to those who are in desperate need of Specsavers, is a German racket in which sundry European poltroons are dished out fancy titles, and even fancier salaries and exes to match, to 'strut their hour upon the stage' whilst pretending to run a fixed game thus distracting attention from their German masters. Enough is enough! I warned some time ago that I was pondering upon whether or not to become an 'activist' (who sniggered?), a class of person I normally avoid because they are usually so excruciatingly boring but today's news containing yet another abomination from Berlin-Brussels is the straw that has broken this particular camel's back.
The Telegraph sums up the story:
Farmers will be forced to erect billboards publicising the fact that they have received EU grants, or face having the money clawed back.
Thousands of landowners have been told they must put up permanent billboards which can be seen by the public, or face financial penalties. The new regulations led to warnings that farmers were being forced to become part of the “EU propaganda machine” in the run-up to a referendum on Britain’s membership.
In true Teutonic style the exact und and precise size has been stipulated 'und vee haf veys of making you obey':
Under the new Country Stewardship scheme, landowners receiving more than €500,000 (£388,000) must put up a 4ft by 6ft billboard.
Those receiving more than €50,000 (£38,825) of EU funding must put up a plaque of at least one square foot, while those getting €10,000 (£7,765) must display an A3 poster. Farmers will be expected to foot the bill for the signs themselves.
The regulations set out in the Government’s countryside stewardship manual warn that: “Failure to display the required poster, plaque or billboard, or to replace those which are lost or damaged, will be a breach of the agreement and subject to a penalty or recovery of payments.”
Now I live in one of the most pleasant parts of England. It's not drop dead gorgeous or anything like that, it's just a gentle, rolling, easy on the eye landscape which just about sums up the very best of English countryside. Do I want that ruined by bloody EU agitprop signs all over the place? I do not! The answer is simple, the VOTE LEAVE organisation must provide us all with anti-EU posters to stick over the top of those bill boards. Either that, or we arm ourselves with green paint and slosh it over every one of those foul abominations.
The next thing we'll get is orders to our local councils telling them that henceforth all our town centres must display large posters of 'Junck the Drunk' smiling down at us benignly - with a shy little Kaiserin peeping out over his shoulder, winking, and saying, "Did you really think it was all over in 1945?"
Uh Huh...bit by bit. Years ago the late singer Johnny Paycheck did a song that reverberates in American pop culture today-"Take This Job and Shove It". The title is useful as "job" can be substituted with whatever is needed...."sign" for instance. I don't know how that would play in proper Queen's English, but somebody soon needs to get busy as it seems they will be coming from behind against this Berlin-Brussels thingy.
Posted by: Whitewall | Saturday, 24 October 2015 at 15:35
Hehehe, I can just imagine the expression on your face as you wrote that!
Per my comment of a while ago, lets assume Blighty does indeed vacate the EU. My option (=3) "Billy No Mates": -
http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2015/10/the-natives-are-revolting-1.html?cid=6a00d8341c5caf53ef01b8d167f870970c#comment-6a00d8341c5caf53ef01b8d167f870970c
And let's assume by some miracle we cease to seal our own fate by letting Corbyn, the Northerners, public sector, and sweaties, chavs, et al reduce us to begging the Jerries, ECB, IMF, etc. to let us back in.
Now, who was it who said about some state's predicament "Surrounded by powerful friends I'd be worried, but surrounded by powerful enemies I'd be terrified", or something similar? Was it Winnie? I've searched and can't find it (JK, if you're out there? ...).
So in the great Western family Blighty would be sandwiched in between America to our West and the greater Jerry Republic to our East. Rather nice while we're all friends. A whole lot of defended space between us and the Hairies and Rooskies from either direction.
But there's one thing. What if we weren't friends any more? What if the Kaiserin got a bit too friendly with the Rooskies, or Chinese, or both, and uncle Sam didn't like it?
I'm not saying we'd be back in the same position we were the last time the USA and the greater Germany fell out, when we were the fault line between tectonic plates (or was that Teutonic plates?), where all the volcanoes and earthquakes are, rather like Ukraine is between the EU / NATO and the Rooskies. (Although it might get that bad). But itwould certainly be politically, diplomatically, and economically like being in the fault line, the crack between the paving slabs, dodging the lava flows.
So both "friends" in this squabble would demand "you're either with us or against us". The Brits would divide in two in the debate, like the Ukrainians, and a good old tug-of-not-quite-war-but-it-might-be will occur - and we're the rope and hanky! The two factions in Blighty would be the proxy through which the two blocs fight.
So while we might well leave the EU, the Jerries consolidate their new empire, and the US and EU stay friends for the remainder of our time on this earth, and you can mock me and say we told you so.
But if not, then Blighty would find itself, maybe not in our time, but sometime, in a very difficult position.
Which is why the Motte and Bailey Europe, with Blighty in charge of the Bailey, is, imho, the far better disposition. We can then be the arbitrator on the inside of the EU just enough to keep the US involved, and with "rights" against the Motte; to keep the family together (and push on to Moscow - sorry Alexey, but you know, we gotta get the family all together sometime ...).
That was written more from my gut instinct, and on the hoof. So feel free to get stuck in.
SoD
Posted by: Lawrence Duff | Saturday, 24 October 2015 at 15:58
I am ready with my red and white spray cans I will buy shares in the spray paint company. I am already humming Land of hope and glory. I need a cause and a bold leader, Albion shall be free from the yoke of the Hun. Unfortunately as I live in France it will be just the odd foray but the first picture of a patriotic disfigurement of the Brussels bullshit and I will raise a glass to that brave patriot. Braveheart will have nothing on our guerrilla Morris dancers.
Posted by: Peter Whale | Saturday, 24 October 2015 at 16:03
Down here the Cornwall Council has ordered that the signs must be in Cornish. Only ten people can read Cornish and six of them live in Australia!
Posted by: Backofanenvelope | Saturday, 24 October 2015 at 17:50
And, BOE, do they all look suspiciously like each other?
Posted by: David Duff | Saturday, 24 October 2015 at 18:15
I share your desire to deface the posters, but it's worth noting that farmers will have to pay for those which are destroyed or defaced. If the boards and supports cost any more than a shotgun cartridge, expect trouble when you go back and deface them a second time!
Posted by: Whyaxye | Saturday, 24 October 2015 at 18:35
"I've searched and can't find it (JK, if you're out there? ...)."
Holy Shit, SoD !!!
And it doesn't help that I've just come out of the VA hospital recently ... nah David, don't bother with the 'Get Well Soon' cards, it was elective (for the most part).
You've taxed my poor brain severely SoD - closest approximation I could come to goes way back to 2008!
http://duffandnonsense.typepad.com/duff_nonsense/2008/07/you-aint-seen-nuthin-yet.html
Posted by: JK | Saturday, 24 October 2015 at 18:57
Sorry JK, didn't mean to task you up when you were recuperating. Elective or non-elective, get well soon.
You've narrowed it down though, it's almost certainly Israel about which the quote was made. I think it was Churchill, but it just won't google up.
SoD
Posted by: Lawrence Duff | Saturday, 24 October 2015 at 20:15
SoD - I can't see where you're coming from with this paranoia about greater krautland. There's the poles and the frigs to keep them in their box, that's their historical job.
You are in danger of falling foul of the very wise saying "he who would liberty for security will have neither".
It is not in our national interest to be governed by brussels. Surely you can see that. When we leave the eu we will still have access to the single market, and that is the only thing that counts.
I do not agree that we are so fallen as a nation that we would be unable to exist as a free independent nation. We have a larger and more innovative economy than Norway, swiss, iceland, canada, etc etc and better armed forces than anybody in the world except the usa, albeit smaller than china and they are a seriously long way away. We also have a channel.
What we have lost is a government who puts British intersts first, but leaving the Eu would go a long way to solving that problem.
Posted by: Cuffleyburgers | Saturday, 24 October 2015 at 22:05
David, were you suggesting the Cornish eat their own ice cream.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Saturday, 24 October 2015 at 22:40
Can anybody get these €500,000 grants? I would be prepared to put up a 4' x 6' sign in my front garden for that.
If they asked me nicely, of course.
Posted by: Frank | Sunday, 25 October 2015 at 00:11
A thousand bloody years you lot have been fighting various Huns, Frogs, Dagoes and whatever other politically incorrectly named groups from Europe you can name who would have seen you all bound down in iron chains [about now Jimmy Glesga starts humming Scots wha hae] but cheerfully surrendered your independence to Berlin-Brussels without a whimper. Un-bloody-believable. The genes of Lord Halifax have triumphed over those of Churchill.
SoD the last time the Huns and Septics fell out you lot and the Commonwealth [remember us?] had been at war with the Hun for two years. You weren't the meat in the sandwich between Germany and the US you were the front line and it extended right up to the coast of the Continental USofA. Reference any half decent history of the RN during WW2 for a detailed explanation.
Posted by: AussieD | Sunday, 25 October 2015 at 03:37
Not a bad topic for the anniversary of Agincourt.
Happy St.Crispian's Day Duffers.
Posted by: AussieD | Sunday, 25 October 2015 at 07:08
"I can't see where you're coming from with this paranoia about greater krautland. There's the poles and the frigs to keep them in their box, that's their historical job."
Like the Frogs and Poles have done a great job keeping the Krauts in their box over recent history. No Cuffers, it's our job, always has been, always will be.
And by "our" I mean Blighty, America, and her siblings (btw, stop whinging AussieD, whenever I say America I'm including you lot. It's just shorter to write.)
The idea is not to "surrender" to the Motte, rather, while the Krauts are busy in there with the Frogs, Poles, Latinos, to pull the rebels into a coherent Bailey run on Anglo-Saxon lines, and to be in charge of that.
SoD
Posted by: Lawrence Duff | Sunday, 25 October 2015 at 08:54
Not whinging SoD. It is not in our nature to do so. We leave that to others whose get up and go has got up and went.
We just get a tad annoyed when we get omitted or lumped in with someone we are distinct from when discussing issues we have committed to.
Posted by: AussieD | Sunday, 25 October 2015 at 09:35
Never mind all this Brit, Kraut, Frog nonsense, there is only one matter of importance at the moment and that is the condition of my archivist! I understand, 'JK', that recently there has been a few problems with your VA hospital system 'over there' so I do hope very much that they are taking good care of you. But for God's sake steer clear of any 'medicinal' offerings from Barney Magroo and his crew up in 'them thar hills'!
Posted by: David Duff | Sunday, 25 October 2015 at 09:51
AussieD. The only tune I hum is the Queen. Sad songs about idiots that attempted to ruin Scotland are not and never have been on my mind.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Sunday, 25 October 2015 at 19:30
The regulations - "ve must 'ave regulations!" - May state the size of the boards, but do they dictate the size of the font? You could have 95% of the board with a picture of Junker below large words reading, THIS IS WHAT A W*NKER LOOKS LIKE with the EUSSR statement the size of a playing card in the bottom left hand corner. Or, the wording could be in Welsh, Cornish, Norfolkese, or even Etruscan, just so long as it, roughly, displays the requisite notice. Or, we could just tell him to f*ck off. The final solution is to agree with the idiot's demands as long as there is a huge sign placed outside the EU parliament proclaiming "THIS YEAR WE WASTED A SHEDLOAD OF BILLIONS OF POUNDS AND EUROS BECAUSE WE ARE CRETINOUS TWATS AND WE CAN. There is nothing like meeting someone half way.
Posted by: Penseivat | Sunday, 25 October 2015 at 20:50
Penseivat, the issue is the British Nation State. The currency the GBP which we should fight for and will. The euro! Nein Verboten.
Posted by: jimmy glesga | Monday, 26 October 2015 at 01:02
Glad to hear it JG
Posted by: AussieD | Monday, 26 October 2015 at 02:31
I guess if you don't want to put up the sign, then you don't have to take their money.
Except, of course, it isn't their money; it's a little bit of our money given back to us, with strings attached.
I suggest a second sign (of the same size) alongside the first, pointing out that to get this £50,000 (or whatever), the UK taxpayer had to send £100,000 (or whatever) to Brussels, the rest of which got spent on bribes, junkets and tax-free salaries for apparatchiks.
Posted by: Andrew Duffin | Monday, 26 October 2015 at 12:22