Will he last until Christmas?

It is now painfully (or delightfully) obvious that 'Jezza' fulfils exactly the old adage that 'he couldn't run a whelk stall!'  After a party conference that had all the characteristics of a meeting of the 'People's Front of Judea', whilst the splitters in the 'Judean People's Front' stayed at home and sulked, it's clear that even if he tried to run a whelk stall within minutes he would be under huge pressure from the polytechnic protectionists of the 'Like, Whelks Are Really, Really Important Faction' and anyway, with 'Jezza's bad luck his stall would be engulfed by hungry pigeons eating his stock and shitting all over it.  Any attempt by him to cull the 'lovely likkle pidgie-widgies' would be met by howls of protest from the equally juvenile 'Pidgie-widgies Are Pets Faction'.  'Jezza', needless to say, would support both!

So, to be more realistic, although it is hard not to revert to absurdist metaphors when writing about today's Labour party, the situation is that on all the great matters of state, defence, the deficit and so on, 'Jezza' finds himself at odds with most of his shadow cabinet and most of his parliamentary party.  However, outside the hallowed halls of Westminster he has virtually the entire population of 'wannabe', current and past alumni from every polytechnic in the land.  (Of course, regular readers will be aware that on this blog all further 'edukashun' establishments from 'Oxbridge' up or down are now classified as polytechnics because that, on a good day, is as far as they can manage.)  So, the situation is that the shadow cabinet has 'Jezza' by the short and curlies but the vast ranks of the polytechnic students who have over-run the party membership now have the Shadow cabinet (and every sitting Member of Parliament) in a similar grip.  It almost beats ladies wrestling in mud!

Mr. Harry de Quetteville in The Telegraph puts my mind at rest with a voting analysis which comes to the conclusion that even if all these new, youthful, energised 'Jezza' supporters actually managed to stub out their 'joints' and get off their arses to vote in a general election, it still would not give Labour a lead.  The situation, which will not have escaped the notice of the average Labour MP, is that the chances of a wipe-out at the next election are enormous.  Thus, I wonder if 'Jezza' will make it past Christmas.  If by a miracle he does, then the results of next year's council elections should crush him utterly.  Such fun!

(Sorry for any typos - I'm in a hurry!)

 

 

Comments

[Lawrence Duff]

2015 really is the gift that keeps on giving. All our enemies, on every front, seem to be absolutely insistent on fighting each other - with the result that they (a) leave us alone and (b) weaken, or even destroy, themselves.

Putin, for example, he's so obviously a bloke isn't he? Can't do two things at once, has downed tools in Ukraine, formerly a big problem for us, and jumped both feet into the Sunni-Shia war. As David Blair points out, this will only heighten the intensity of the conflict, drawing more Shia and Sunni Islamists - and now Rooskie hard men - into the self-service extermination camp: -

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/syria/11905028/Vladimir-Putins-catastrophic-plan-for-Syria-would-deliver-war-without-end.html

The pattern is the same for the Left, and all its PFJ's and JPF's. They're all being drawn into one self-service extermination camp called the Labour party, to fight each other to death.

Never has the political strategy of "Bait and Bleed" been so handsomely illustrated concurrently than these two sagas unfolding before us: -

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bait_and_bleed

Are "Dim Dave" and "Ol' Big Ears" really as dumb as they'd like us to think they are?

SoD

[decnine]

It's even better than you say. Jezza even disagrees with himself at times.

He says that Labour will decide policy after sitting down (why does all politics seem to require a well padded bottom?) and debating: because Jezza doesn't want to be the sort of leader who makes all the decisions. BUT even if Labour decides to keep the Bomb, Jezza already knows that he will refuse to use it under any circumstances.

So, what's the point of all this debating stuff? AND are there any other red lines that Jezza won't cross whatever the Party decides to the contrary?

[Whyaxye]

There does seem to be a pool of people who will back Jezza for as long as he appears amateurish and bumbling and behaves like a retired geography teacher who has been unwillingly thrust into a position of responsibility. Labour membership actually increased after his conference speech, which was dire. These are those disillusioned with the way in which politics has latterly been conducted, and along with the hard-leftist dinosaurs are the sum total of his support.

As you rightly point out, the key players here are those who expected a nice little career (decent money, high status, and the chance of sex with nymphs like Diane Abbott) out of the Labour Party. They will not be messed around for too long. I predict an internal coup rather than electoral defeat for this sad deluded man.

[Antisthenes]

Indeed Decnine he does. His verbal contortions on any subject that he is disagreed upon are a wonder to behold. Perhaps he will keep this up until such time and it will happen when all moderate lefties(however to me the only good lefty is a dead one in the metaphorical sense that is) are purged from the party and only the modern equivalent of the militant tendency are in complete control.

At least he is going to make politics more interesting for a while and provide us on the right at least with some belly laughs. If his popularity however should rise as there are many unforeseen reasons that may happen he could also turn his comedy act into a horror movie.

[Uncle Mort]

I hope he's given an easy ride for a year or two in case Labour finds a real leader in time for 2020.

[David Duff]

Even so, Gentlemen, with all this empty ground to the Left of centre which Dave 'n' Georgie want to occupy forever, there is less and less chance of the Tories moving Right.

[Lawrence Duff]

Also, it depends what you mean by "Right".

Right's a pretty broad church too. Plenty of PFJ, JPF, and splitters (you know who you are ... ).

In the Devine symmetry of politics, it'd be just like the Right to squander their opportunity with in fighting.

SoD

[JK]

Ahoy SoD!

I think that Blair guy you've linked to is mistaken in his thinking as to Putin's "aims 'n goals" are for Syria. Assad in my humble opinion just an afterthought. The goal is to assure the resupply point at Tartus to maintain a presence in the Med.

Establish a line close to halfway west/east between Latakia and Aleppo then a north to south "border" roughly 20 kilometers east of Hamah - east of nearabouts that guessed at boundary is a wasteland (I'm figuring that'd be most preferable from an Israeli viewpoint also. The Israelis of course can not, must not, express an opinion either way - at least publicly. But recall Russia and Israel enjoyed some little chit-chat a couple maybe three years ago whereby Israel got landing rights secured in Azerbaijan - last I checked a few IDAF F-15s were there, very likely still).

Obama's "coalition" establishes & holds[?] the refugee safety-zone dividing Syria/Turkey and then Get the hell outta Dodge (replaced by a new Administration in 2016) dividing his time between Chicago and Hawaii.

Map of Syria:

https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/sy.html

And SoD, don't know you been paying attention but Turkey is a fucking mess.

http://warontherocks.com/2015/09/turkish-winter-is-coming/

[JK]

http://malcolmpollack.com/2015/09/30/natura-abhorret-a-vacuo/#comment-761097

[Lawrence Duff]

Hey JK, yeah, you have to wonder about Turkey, what with them being in Nato.

As the Sunni-Shia conflict intensifies and comes to the boil, the triangular relationships will tend to resolve out to a straight linear fight, if other conflicts are anything to go by; "you're either with us or against us" normally prevails when all chips are down.

For example, the Turks are attaching the Kurds, who are on our "side" fighting ISIL, while at the same time the Turks are also fighting ISIL and providing air fields for US aircraft bombing ISIL.

In the end, the Kurds will throw their lot in with the Assad, Iran, Russia Shia axis, and Turkey will throw its lot in with the ISIL, Saudi, Northern Iraq / Eastern Syria Sunni tribes Sunni axis.

We (short for "West") will step aside and let the two axes, duly linear, knock the shit out of each other, while generally umpiring and going "ooooh, aaaah" on the touchline.

And one Nato member, Turkey, will be cut loose and consumed by the conflict.

No big deal. They were never really "we" anyway. It's an Eastern thang, and the Turks fit in nicely.

And since the Rooskies missed out on our Western thang a few hundred years back (Wars of Religion) being orthodox and all that, and Putin loves to call himself "Eastern", let him join the rumble and have a taste of self-destruction into the bargain.

"Get outta dodge", yesirrreee!

SoD

[Odin's Raven]

Putin Akhbar!

[JK]

"No big deal. They were never really "we" anyway."

Hopefully SoD. Except we (as in the US, not y'all so much) with the Dumbfuck Administration in charge of arrangements for using the three Turkish airbases ... mighta made some typically dumbfuck terms for 'the privilege' so while y'all can cut loose fairly easily ...

(Gotta remember SoD to capitalize Dodge)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dodge_City,_Kansas

[jimmy glesga]

It is getting a wee bit complicated. In the old days it was the Judean People's Front or was it the Peoples Front for Judea. Back to the rugby and Pinot.

[Lawrence Duff]

Jimmy, you've forgotten the Popular Front: -

[Lawrence Duff]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9foi342LXQE

In our analogous situation, would translate to the Free Syrian Army, trained and equipped by the West. All 80 of 'em.

SoD

[Lawrence Duff]

Wrong link, sorry: -

https://youtu.be/gb_qHP7VaZE

SoD

[jimmy glesga]

https://youtu.be/SRhI0Xqv5Rc
Interesting utube.