For God's sake, America, grow up!

I had a restless night last night and as I always do in such a predicament I switched my radio on to BBC Five Live and, for my troubles, listened to the results coming in from Maine - simply too, too ghastly!  First of all it gradually became clear that Jeremy Corbyn's American cousin, the doddering old 'commie', Bernie Sanders, was winning BIG TIME  against 'HillBilly'.  Well, not too much to worry about there, I thought, because even if the 'commie' beats the 'crook', neither of them would win the presidency, er, would they?  (Oh no, say it ain't so!)  But then the Republican results came in and it was clear that 'Trump the Chump' was way ahead of all the others.  I then had to put up with the sound of massed Trump supporters endlessly chanting "USA! USA! USA!".  That, one assumes, is about the limit of their ability to analyse political problems.

Of course, the mythical fat lady has yet to sing so there is the possibility that things might change.  I once visited Maine - no doubt you can still see the memorial plaques where I deigned to rest my head - and I particularly remember the town of Manchester which, with its landscaped college grounds and large, elegant houses was about as far removed from Manchester, Lancs. as it is possible to get.  Rather like the rest of New England I gained the impression that the, er, 'folks' there were quiet, polite and sensible.  Oh well, wrong again because it's obvious that they're a bunch of half-witted loons!  One must simply wait patiently for the rest of America to put them right, er, they will, won't they?

If in fact, Sanders and Trump make it through to the presidential race then my advice to my American friends is simple - emigrate!  It's no good going north to Canada because they have gone nuts as well and voted in a soppy socialist.  You could try going south to Mexico, I have it on good authority that the border is somewhat porous so you might have to wait whilst the streams of Mexicans heading north get across the Rio Grande safely!  Or better still, you could reverse the flow of history and come back 'over here'.  We're a bit crowded here but we'd rather have you than all those Muslims.  However, I should warn you that endlessly chanting "USA! USA! USA!" will not be encouraged, it's bad enough with all those 'hairies' chanting from their minarets!

 

Comments

[Uncle Mort]

Very worrying, especially if it is a symptom of a deeper malaise, which is certainly what it feels like from my side of the Atlantic.

[JK]

Pretty good post there David. ... Well, maybe except for one slight little thing, perhaps not so important as I'm not so concerned you learn the northern states locations as I am your learning the southern.

The Maine Republican Party will hold its presidential caucuses on March 5 at various locations around the state.

http://www.lwvme.org/elections.html

Suggestion David, Wiki up "The Granite State."

[JK]

Belay the suggestion David. I did it myself. You'll appreciate this link.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Granite_State_(Breaking_Bad)

[Backofanenvelope]

What has happened is the American electorate is fed up with their political classes. Ideally a large meteorite would land on Washington DC and kill the lot of them. We had our chance last May. Otherwise Prime Minister Farage would be negotating on our behalf having invoked art 50 of the Lisbon treaty.

Petunia in Madera where the sun is shining and I am off fot an alcoholic lunch!

[David Duff]

Er, checking the spelling in your hasty comment, BOE, I suspect you might have indulged in a few aperitifs before lunch!

[Whitewall]

The state motto of New Hampshire is "Live free or die". Over the last 20 years, escapees from Massachusetts have taken up residence in NH and brought their DNA. Now the motto is simply "live (for) free off others".

[Whitewall]

I think BOE gets in the spirit of the event quicker than most. You get more bang for your money that way.