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Sunday, 20 March 2016


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Duffers there is nothing quite so boring as the Australian Grand Prix. Unless of course you accidentally switch to the live telecast of the All Iceland Blind Tiddlywinks Championship.

I van let you have the rights to both for a reasonable fee. I have a nice bridge I'll throw in for a small extra fee.

Calling the rugby boring coming from a man who gets up at 4 to watch the F1... That's rich!

Just as everyman's hobby is totally incomprehensible to every other man, so it is with sport. The defence rests!

David, when the RAF flung you from perfectly good airplanes way back when, did they have enough parachutes for everyone on board?

Nah, Whiters, but it didn't matter 'cos I always landed on my head, so no harm done!

Fort Bragg is a couple of hours east of me. I've seen these soldiers do these jumps. Makes the hair on your neck stand up.

That was the easy part, Whiters, a bit like having a go on a fairground thrill-ride. The hard part was when you landed and had to put an enormous amount of kit on your back and carry it 20 miles. I yearned for my mummy!

Watch the Aussie Grand Prix? You must be kidding.
Bring on the bog snorkelling. Now there's a sport!

The mind boggles!

Having been RTU'd from my basic Para course through injury, I graduated to Air Despatch where I still flew with the RAF but had a good reason not to jump out of perfectly sound aircraft. I thank whoever was in charge at the time that my actions, in sometimes missing the DZ, did not result in fines for littering!

I hope you weren't the bugger who kept throwing me out!

As my officer once told me 'Blighters who drive aeroplanes, and the asses who jump out of them, are not the sort of chaps with whom a Royal Artilleryman ought to mix.'

Typical 'nine-mile sniper'!

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